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StephenT [userpic]

Request

23rd August 2010 (18:31)
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*shuffles feet, looks down at floor, clears throat*

Would anyone be willing to read through a story of mine before I post it? I should warn you, it's NC17 rated and kind of pervy and PWPlike. (Because, you know, it's been months since I wrote anything like that, and I thought it was time I got back into practice *g*)  3133 words. More details (slightly spoilery) under the cut.


The story includes references to a couple of female characters masturbating. Last time my fic included something like that, several of my flist members commented to say that they didn't think women's bodies worked in quite the way I'd written. So I thought it might be useful to have someone skim through my story to make sure I haven't made any similar mistakes this time around. :-) I wouldn't expect a full in-depth beta reading necessarily, though any other comments or suggestions you wanted to make would be welcome. Just a fact check. Please, leave a comment if you're interested.



On a related note (same story) would a house such as Buffy's in Sunnydale have air conditioning in the bedrooms? Part of the set-up is that it's an uncomfortably hot night, and I don't know whether it can stand as it is, or if I should insert a line into the opening paragraph noting that the aircon is broken and Buffy can't afford to have it fixed yet...


Comments

Posted by: mandikaye (theonemandikaye)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 17:47 (UTC)

The house would likely have central air conditioning, so it would either all work or all be broken.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 17:56 (UTC)

I can work with that if need be. Thanks!

Posted by: Denita (menomegirl)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 18:06 (UTC)

Me, me mememe. I need distraction. My email is ilikebuffy101@yahoo.com

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:16 (UTC)

Sent, and thanks!
:-)

Posted by: petzipellepingo (petzipellepingo)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 18:57 (UTC)
blvd of broken dream Summers house by th

Considering the fact that we never saw a room air conditioner sticking out of any windows, we'd have to assume there was central AC.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:17 (UTC)

See, as a British person I'd have assumed that meant there was no airconditioning. It pays to check. :-)

Posted by: verity (ladyofthelog)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 19:48 (UTC)

Sure! My email is on my profile.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:20 (UTC)

Thank you! Sent.
(I've sent it to Denita too, so I hope you don't disagree on what, if anything, needs to be changed. ;-)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 20:34 (UTC)

California's climate seems to be fairly similar to mine...

Trust me. They'd have an air conditioner.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:20 (UTC)

I'll just have to break it then. :-)

Posted by: ladydorotea (ladydorotea)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 20:53 (UTC)

Most all homes here in US have central air conditioning - the heat and cool system is usually one and the same you adjust the thermostat to set the temp and it is all air and ventilation system - air comes out from air-ducts in every room, not steam like in some places in EU. So, if the central air unit is broken there would be no cool or heat, and it might take you a coupla days to get somebody come see and fix it. Btw , this is very silly IMHO, since you need humidifiers all over the house as well or you continuously have problems with air in the house being too dry...

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:23 (UTC)

Thanks for the detailed information! It's mostly just atmosphere and mood-setting rather than plot-relevant, but it's the sort of thing that can trip you up if you're not careful.

Posted by: GingerWall (gingerwall)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 22:11 (UTC)

Except in the places where the humidity is so high that often you turn on the AC not because it's too hot but because everything in your house gets damp otherwise.

Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 22:03 (UTC)
willow wesley fetal pigs

Assuming you can never have too many betas, I am so there.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:20 (UTC)

Thanks! I think I'm sorted now, though. Hopefully the fic will be posted tomorrow.

Posted by: GingerWall (gingerwall)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 22:12 (UTC)

I would definitely beta your story if you still want somebody.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:20 (UTC)

Thanks! It looks like I'll be okay now, but the offer is apreciated.

Posted by: Owen (owenthurman)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 23:52 (UTC)
sith

In most American homes constructed since the war, there would be central heat and air conditioning. In a lot of older ones, such as 1630 Revello, it would have been retrofitted.

But on the coast in California air conditioning is optional. I've worked in towns between SF and LA and never stayed in a house with air con. Even in LA and San Diego really hot days are rare and followed by cool nights. As you go even fifty miles inland, refrigerated air is not optional but a basic condition of human life.

So you can have it either way depending on your imagined location of Sunnydale. Have you reviewed Amends for definitive answers to the air con question? That was the only time it was hot at all in Sunnydale and it seemed quite special.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:26 (UTC)

Aha! Good reminder. This is in the 'Amends' script:

BUFFY: Oh, yes, nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat.
JOYCE: Oh, come on, it's lovely. (beat) Maybe I should turn on the air conditioning.

So they do have it, and presumably it'll be the central air type other people have described - but based on Joyce's words here and your explanation, they probably wouldn't need it to be on all the time. (In my Buffyverse, Sunnydale is where Santa Barbara is in real life, and the surrounding area is less built up/more desert-like because of the Hellmouth driving down real estate values...)

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 00:28 (UTC)
pic#87400756

Ooo, so we're talking about sweaty masturbation here, eh? :-) In that case, I'll use my sexy Anya icon.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:26 (UTC)

Maybe... :-)

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 00:32 (UTC)
pic#87400756

Oh, and sorry for the double post, but I could swear I remember a window-unit air conditioner in the window of Buffy's bedroom during the first season or two.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:36 (UTC)

I just checked a couple of screen shots, but couldn't see one. And this view shows both windows and there's no aircon unit in sight:



(It's an S7 story)

Edited at 2010-08-24 02:37 (UTC)

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 04:58 (UTC)
pic#87400756

It would have been from an early episode, before that window was required for Buffy to climb out of, and Angel to climb in. Maybe in the first couple of episodes.

But we can probably just chalk it up to Joyce springing for the central AC at some point.

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