?

Log in

No account? Create an account
StephenT [userpic]

(Fic Commentary) In The Night

31st August 2010 (11:42)

Last week I wrote a fic on what is apparently still considered something of a taboo subject - in fact, it inspired frenchani  to make a post discussing many of the issues I'd been considering when I wrote the fic, which was kind of spooky. So I thought it would be interesting to write a commentary on the story going into more detail on my thought processes. There's also some discussion of my characterisation of Willow and Buffy.

The original fic is here.

In The Night

> So: a while ago there was a discussion in my journal on whether people would be interested in reading smut fics about one person masturbating rather than two people having sex - because it's a subject that rarely appears in fanfiction. (Or professional fiction, for that matter.). The general consensus at the time was, yes they would.

>I had a few ideas for stories, but one of the problems was that unless you're going to write pure porn without plot, the fic needs some kind of emotional plot or conflict or tension. That's difficult to achieve with only one protagonist. The solution I came up with for this fic was obvious enough in retrospect; include a second person as an (involuntary) witness.

> I actually thought of a couple of versions of this basic plot bunny. The one I went with here was Willow's telepathy forcing her to unwillingly eavesdrop on Buffy and Dawn in S7. However, I also thought of setting the fic in S4 and having Buffy masturbating in her bed late at night after getting back from patrol, thinking Willow was asleep - but in fact Willow was awake, although doing her best to pretend not to be. I may write that one up at some point too, although it is the same basic plot as this fic, just with less telepathy. In fact, I have to say that after writing this I've had all sorts of ideas for different plots based on the same general subject. :-)

The night was heavy and stifling. The heat lay over Willow like a smothering blanket - her real one had been discarded long since, and lay crumpled and forgotten on the floor by her bed. The thin sheet that was all that was left to her was damp and clammy, sticking to her slick skin as she twisted and rolled, unable to sleep.

> One of my aims in writing fic is always to ground it in reality, to make the reader feel that they're present in the scene. That means putting in as many nitty-gritty details as I can get away with, appealing to all the senses as vividly as possible. That's particularly important in a story like this, to compensate for the clearly unrealistic supernatural elements. Of course, the oppressive heat is also a metaphor and externalisation of Willow's feelings - this is early Season 7, so she's feeling guilt and grief pressing down on her, surrounding her and not letting her sleep.

She could feel the darkness. It was all around her, whispers and sly chuckles and tears and laughter.

> I once wrote a long meta on Willow's telepathy, but to sum it up: it's canon that she can hear other people's thoughts if they "think real loud"; in 'Showtime' she's even able to pick it up when Buffy thinks her name at her. On the other hand, she doesn't demonstrate the ability to always know what other people are thinking, so her powers are clearly limited or intermittent in some way. (Of course, the meta-explanation is that the writers weren't always consistent in depicting what she could do with her powers, or didn't fully think through the consequences of giving Willow the ability to read minds...) In my fic, the explanation I usually go with is as shown here: other people's thoughts are a constant low-key hum at the back of her mind which most of the time she can ignore; but strong emotions like anger, fear or lust break through her barriers more easily. I also assume she can pick up the thoughts of people she knows well more easily than those of strangers.

In the garden, there was a sickening moment of fear and a flash of pain quickly over as an owl swooped down on a mouse. Three doors down, Mr and Mrs Hernandez were arguing again.

> I made the neighbours Hispanic as a response to the common complaints that there aren't enough Latino people in Sunnydale to be realistic for a town in southern California.

His rage was bright and hotter than the night itself; her anger was bitter and sullen and its depth made Willow shiver despite the heat. Across the street, a young man she didn't recognise was walking home, a mood of bravado stretched thinly over his growing nerves as his footsteps echoed down the empty street and he remembered the warnings he'd jokingly dismissed - you don't go out alone after dark. Not in Sunnydale.

> We'll come back to him later. Of course, many people must ignore the warnings, because all those new vampires have to come from somewhere...

Willow tried to focus on her own lessons, remember the training that the Coven had started to give her before she'd had to leave. Focus inward, shut out the world. Let the insistent clamour of thoughts fade to nothing, nothing but the distant rush of surf on the beach, the wind rustling in the branches. Breathe. Breathe again. Let it fade...

> My idea here is that as S7 goes on, Willow gets better at this, and her defences become more instinctual and solid. She won't always be this tormented.

A sharp, insistent burst of emotion crashed straight through her half-built barriers and set her whole body tingling with heat. Someone close by, then, and someone well-known to her. The flow of feelings continued to rush over and around her, less urgent but still intense, and she recognised their flavour.

> Dawn is 'thinking real loud' now because she's very focussed on what she's doing. :-) I'm also assuming there's an empathic element to Willow's abilities; she picks up feelings and emotions even better than actual thoughts.

It was Dawn, of course; in the other bedroom two doors down from Willow's, and clearly unable to get to sleep either. And judging by the way Willow's own body was reacting and awakening in response to the rush of thoughts being broadcast in all directions, there were no prizes for guessing what Dawn had chosen to do now she was awake.

Willow groaned, and rolled over onto her side to bury her face in the pillow. This was the last thing she needed.

She always felt like a voyeur when this happened - which was far too often for Willow's liking.

> I put that line in out of practical considerations. When writing a fic like this, the natural implication is that this is something new and unusual happening to Willow, which is what makes it distinctive enough to write about. But in reality, I can't imagine it doesn't happen on a regular basis... Though I assume that Willow would usually be asleep by the time Buffy at least gets home from patrol, except tonight she can't sleep. (And during the day, she has the option of going for a walk to get away.)

Or wait, should that be voyeuse? A French feminine ending?

> I have to admit, this is the sort of question that I think about too. :-) Willow is geeky and painfully intelligent, but languages aren't her best subject.

She wasn't great at languages. Maybe she should go online, try to research it: there was probably a forum or community for this kind of question, surely?

> linguaphiles  or little_details , probably. But I don't know if they were around in 2003.

And maybe her feeble attempt to distract herself with intellectual speculation wasn't working, when a teenage girl with overactive hormones had decided to start masturbating ten yards away from a powerful telepath who was only barely learning how to control her abilities.

Well, at least it would distract her from the pain and fear and misery going on outside. Dawn's thoughts, heightened by her sexual arousal, were coming through loud and clear. She was spinning a fantasy for herself, which Willow could watch playing out in her brain as vividly as a movie on TV. But not a film starring Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie or anyone like that, which was a shame - Willow herself would have preferred Angelina, of course, but regretfully Dawn was a staunch Bradosexual.

> I like the expression 'Bradosexual'. Also, Dawn is one of the characters in 'Buffy' I've never imagined as anything but thoroughly straight. Maybe, ironically enough, it's because she's so completely natural and at ease with Willow and Tara's relationship.

Except that this time the starring role in her fantasy wasn't being played by anyone famous, but by a boy in her class at school. Someone Willow had never met, but had heard Dawn talk about often enough. And he'd invited her to a party that Saturday, and...

> It's something I've wondered; is it more common for people to have sexual fantasies about famous sex symbols, or people they know personally and have a crush on?

And Dawn's fantasy was all about what might happen after that party. In explicit, XXX-rated detail. Willow sat bolt upright in her bed, fighting back the urge to rush straight into Dawn's room and forbid her from going to the party.

> In general, I think Willow is much more accepting and encouraging of Dawn's sexual development than Buffy or Xander are. She's the disreputable aunt who encourages her to be a grown-up. But there are limits, even for Willow...

Or maybe tell her to take her sister as chaperone.

> That line makes me smile because I know how much Dawn would hate it. :-) I doubt Buffy would be thrilled either.

She mustn't, she was too young, she--- Willow forced herself to breathe again. It was only a fantasy. Make believe. Dawn was much too sensible to do anything like that for real (she hoped). Willow reminded herself of the elaborately choreographed sexual fantasies she'd composed when she was Dawn's age, and equally as inexperienced.

> I originally had a few lines here about how even Willow, who wasn't the world's greatest expert on boys, knew that some of the details in Dawn's fantasy were implausible or even physically impossible. Clearly she was basing them on ideas from bad fanfic written by other inexperienced teenagers like herself. So Willow decided to discreetly hook her up with some high-quality woman-friendly porn, and was wondering how best to do it without Buffy finding out what she'd done... But the fic was getting too long, so I cut that part out.

A few of them had even featured Xander, which she'd long ago decided she was never, ever going to tell him. (Others had instead centred on Cordelia, and there was no way on the Goddess's green earth she'd have admitted that little fact. It had taken her long enough to admit it to herself.)

> I can see teenage Willow rationalising away to herself that fantasies are only make-believe and are a way to explore ideas you'd never dream of carrying out in real life, so it didn't really mean she was gay if she fantasised about having sex with other girls. Especially if one of them was Cordelia.

"And besides, Will", she thought, "Got to be practical here. How would Dawn react if she discovered I was listening in on her fantasies? She'd freak out at me, and rightly so...
"Oooh. Maybe she'd be so freaked out, she'd swear off masturbation forever, or at least when I was in the house, and I'd get some peace?
"No. That wouldn't be fair on her. She shouldn't have to suffer for my problems, it's my own fault I'm like this. Just got to live with it..."

And so she lay her head back down on the pillow and forced herself to keep calm as the stream of thoughts from Dawn's brain flowed out around her. Her own body was still reacting to the rush of sexual energy, and she gripped the sheet with both hands to keep them from slipping down under it. That would be wrong, it would be creepy and wrong, and she couldn't lose control. Losing control led to badness.

> In 'Touched', Willow tells Kennedy that she hasn't dared to "lose control" ever since the events of 'Grave', because it might mean she would turn scary black-eyed again. Given the context - they're talking about sex - I took that to mean Willow was specifically saying she hasn't masturbated in a year because she's afraid of what would happen if she ever let herself reach orgasm. Of course, that makes situations like this even more of a torment for her.

Her nipples ached, they were so hard, and Willow rubbed one of them with the heel of her hand. The electric jolt of pleasure it sent through her body made her almost lose her resolution. Almost. Her mind spun away out of control, and before she knew it her vagrant consciousness had melded with the source of the passion filling her.

> My idea is that the strong thoughts are like a beacon pulling Willow's attention towards them, and she has to concentrate in order to keep any sort of distance. When she gets distracted, her consciousness merges with Dawn's own to the extent that she can physically feel the same things Dawn is feeling.

She - no, Dawn - no, they - she was lying on Dawn's bed, in Dawn's bedroom. She was naked, covers thrown completely off, a cool draught on bare skin from the air vent.

> It's hot here too, but I'm implying that Willow's hot sweaty sleeplessness has as much to do with her mental state as with the actual temperature. Note the reference to a central air conditioning system added on the advice of my flist. Presumably it was retro-fitted to the house and doesn't work too well.. :-)

Willow felt it, as clearly as Dawn felt it. She was lying flat on her back, sprawled comfortably across the mattress, her legs spread wide. Her hand - no, Dawn's hand - was busy at her crotch (Dawn's crotch). She was teasing herself, her fingers sliding gently up and down, to and fro, the slick wetness making them glide easily over Willow's - no, Dawn's hot yielding flesh.

Then she shifted her arm, pressing three fingers firmly against the top of her slit, and rubbed in slow but intense circles that sent spikes of pleasure up though her belly, causing her heart to pound and her breath to come rapidly.

> Specialist subject, "Women's masturbation techniques, various". ;-) This is why my betas were very helpful. It's simpler for men...

Willow was swept away in the sensation of it, not knowing or caring if her own body in her own bed was copying the action or not - it felt the same.

> For the record, no, I don't think she is. But she can feel everything Dawn's feeling.

But then Dawn stopped, deliberately stopped, and brought her hand away and wiped wet fingers over her breasts, the chill as the moisture evaporated making her body tingle. Then she began the slow teasing again, sliding fingertips-only round and round her nipples then back down her body. She was clearly planning to make this last a long, long time, and Willow didn't know whether to be grateful, or curse her as a torturer, and--

> There's a plot-related issue here. When I originally planned this story, both Buffy and Dawn were going to be in their own beds already, though the basic sequence of Dawn starting first, then Buffy joining in was already in place. But then I thought I needed to make it more clear that Buffy is responding to the horny part of post-Slayage "hungry and horny", which meant describing her getting back from patrol. So in other words, I needed to make Dawn's masturbation session last a really long time, to give Buffy time to come home and even grab a snack while it was going on...

From outside there was a sudden sensation of intense fear, darkness and hunger, strong enough to break the involuntary gestalt; and back in her own bed again Willow thought "Oh thank Goddess" then felt immediately guilty as she worried what had happened.

> The fear is the boy, the darkness and hunger is the vampire attacking him.

The boy? The one on his way home, who'd laughed at the warnings not to walk the streets at night - had he discovered the reason why it was dangerous?
 
> Yep.

Anxiously, she centred herself and sent her thoughts out deliberately this time, searching to find what had happened. It was difficult and frustrating, like trying to hear an individual voice in a chanting stadium crowd; but just when she thought she'd have to give up she caught the timbre of his thoughts again.

> Again trying to justify why Willow can hear other people's thoughts sometimes, but doesn't automatically know what everybody's thinking and thus ruin the plots of half the episodes in Season 7...

It was definitely him, and he was afraid and confused... but also relieved. Relieved?

> Relieved because just as the vampire was about to bite him, it turned into a cloud of dust that revealed Buffy holding a stake standing behind it.

And then Willow relaxed and even smiled as she caught a quick flash of a far more familiar mind. Buffy was back from patrol, and feeling a distinct lack of respect for the idiocy of a vampire who'd try and attack a victim on Revello Drive, of all places. Must be a newbie. Or ex-bie, now. Old-bie? Dust-bie? Blowing in the wind-bie? Bye-bie?

> 'Bye-bie' is supposed to be pronounced as 'bye-bye', though it could also be 'baby', I suppose...

Willow heard herself giggling as her best friend amused herself with wordplay as she quietly opened the front door and hung up her jacket and stake beside it.

> More evidence that the heat is more in Willow's mind than the climate, if Buffy wears a jacket out patrolling.

Besides, it was a welcome distraction from the Dawn lust extravaganza still going on next door. Focussing on Buffy's thoughts was hard, and Willow's attention kept getting drawn back to what Dawn was doing and feeling and thinking; but she forced herelf to persevere. It was good practice, anyway.

The thought that it was also an invasion of Buffy's privacy did occur to her briefly; but, she reasoned, it wasn't exactly her fault. (Except, whose fault was it that she had these powers now, if not hers?) And besides, it was probably much better to invade Buffy's privacy than to invade Dawn's at this precise moment. All Buffy was thinking about right now was raiding the refrigerator; perfectly innocent.

> As Dawn says about Buffy, she always heads to the refrigerator after patrols because "she's such a pig after she kills things".

She poured herself a glass of orange juice and downed it in a single movement - Willow actually tasted the fruit flavour in her own mouth as she did. Then she grabbed a slice of cold pizza and started chewing on it as she tiptoed her way upstairs.

> Buffy is tiptoeing because she's being considerate and doesn't want to wake Willow and Dawn, whom she assumes, wrongly, will be asleep. Also and more practically, it's important that Dawn doesn't realise she's back yet.

She'd just swallowed the last mouthful as she pushed open the bathroom door then turned to lock it behind her - and Willow hastily broke the link and turned her mind elsewhere. That would be an invasion too far, even compared to eavesdropping on Dawn...

> I needed Buffy to be quick and multi-task in getting her midnight snack even as she goes upstairs, because I want to get her to the stage of playing with herself while Dawn is still going too. ;-) Though I did draw the line at having her still eating when she goes to the toilet...

Which, now she was deliberately trying not to listen to Buffy's thoughts, was exactly and inevitably where her attention was pulled back. Dawn's fantasy was losing coherence now, the overwhelming sensations from her body blotting out all rational thought. She was still attempting to alternate between rubbing and gentle stroking, but the gaps were getting shorter, it was getting harder and harder for her to break off. Willow could feel her clit hard and swollen beneath her fingers, feel the breath panting in her own chest, the jolts of pleasure that set her legs quivering and made her throw her - no, Dawn's - head back then whip it round to bury it in the pillow.Willow could sense the calculation slowly forming in Dawn's brain, not expressed in words but in dim unspoken urges, but its meaning clear enough: "Okay, that's enough, time to let go, time to just go for it, bring myself off; here we go..."

> That line was amended to make it more obvous that this is Dawn's subconscious motivation; she's not actually thinking those specific words in a coherent manner.

Then the sound of the toilet flushing echoed loudly through the darkened house, followed by a creak from the pipes as the water in the sink was turned on, and Willow sensed Dawn freeze.

> I did hesitate a little about putting in the line with the toilet flushing; it's rare for characters in fiction to need to go to the bathoom, and I was nervous some readers might get put off by the reference. (If you were, tell me!) But then again, as I said in the first paragraph I'm trying to be realistic and grounded here, and it's certainly a very real-life kind of situation. It's relevant to the plot since Buffy can be as quiet as she likes opening doors and tiptoeing around the house, but she can't make the flush any quieter - and the sound is what alerts Dawn to her presence.

A flash of panic gripped her brain - "Ohmigod, Buffy's back, what if she decides to come in and talk to me, I'm all naked!" She lay there listening hard for sounds of her sister's approach, wondering whether to grab the sheets... and Willow felt torn, because part of her was just relieved that Dawn had stopped playing with herself, and the other part of her felt guilty at that, and sympathetic, and blamed Buffy for spoiling her sister's fun.

> Dawn has thrown off her sheets completely and is lying on top of the bed stark naked - and we've seen in a few episodes ('Dead Things', for instance) that Buffy does occasionally come into Dawn's room in the middle of the night. Which would be embarrassing for both of them right now.

But then came the sound of the shower starting up, and Dawn relaxed, and Willow clearly heard her think to herself "Oh, well"... and then she started rubbing herself again. Quietly. So no reprieve after all - and in fact it was worse, because the interruption had lost Dawn some of her erotic charge, and so she had to build it up again and the whole thing would take even longer than before, and then...

> Yes, this was all part of my cunning strategy to make it realistic that Dawn doesn't finish masturbating before Buffy gets started. :-)

And then Willow's last hope of maintaining any sense of privacy or decorum came crashing down in flames as a second, even more insistent and demanding rush of sexual energy came flooding over her like a tsunami over a Japanese fishing village. From the direction of the bathroom.

Now Buffy was at it as well.

Both of them at the same time, both of them within thirty feet of her with only a wall or two between them. They didn't know - Willow, tuned into their thoughts, knew that neither of the Summers women were aware what the other was doing. But that didn't help her. The doubled-up waves of lust and passion oscillated through her brain, echoing and reinforcing each other, making her own body throb and pulsate and twist. She whimpered and hid her head under her pillow, but it didn't help one bit.

> I'm thinking that the fact that they're sisters - and more than that, that Dawn was magically created out of Buffy - does indeed mean that their emotions resonate and set up a feedback loop inside Willow's brain. It's why she automatically merges with Buffy and gets to experience what she's feeling, while with Dawn it was more of an accident. Willow's reactions here mirror Buffy's in 'Earshot'.

Buffy was standing in the shower, her feet planted far apart, and the showerhead in her hand was aimed at point-blank range at her pussy.
 
> Minor background detail; when I write smut fic I usually use whichever word I think the characters themselves would use to describe their genitals, whether formal or vulgar. Willow would call it a vagina, Buffy a pussy and Faith a cunt. I'm not sure about Dawn; maybe something like "vag" or "V". So for those familiar with my fic, the fact that I use the word 'pussy' here implies that this is Buffy's thoughts that Willow is reading, not Willow's own mind. :-)

She moved it side to side gently then held it at a steady angle, and her whole body shook and quivered with the intensity of it. In happier days - which is to say, last year - Willow had, um, carried out similar experiments herself, and she knew she'd never be able to stand it with the water pressure turned up to full and the showerhead held so close; she was too sensitive down there.
 
> Willow has sworn off masturbating since she nearly blew up the world, but that doesn't mean she didn't used to do it.

But Buffy was enjoying it, Buffy was more than enjoying it and through the mental link that tied them together Willow could enjoy it too.

> Slayers have a much higher pain tolerance than normal humans. I don't think that means they're insensitive to more gentle touches, just that their dividing line between "Mmm" and "Ouch" is set a lot further up.

Except she shouldn't, she mustn't, it was bad, it was wrong... it was Buffy. Willow could feel Buffy's other hand squeeze her breast, hard enough that each finger made a pale little indentation in the soft flesh but not hard enough to hurt - or at least, not hurt a Slayer - and remembered all the times before that she'd fantasised about feeling that.

> Yes, one of my guiding principles of Buffy-Willow fic is that Willow has had an on-again, off-again crush on Buffy ever since high school. She's attracted to her, but is convinced it would never get anywhere - in fact, isn't even worth thinking about due to what she sees as Buffy's rampant heterosexuality. She's also terrified that if Buffy ever caught the slightest hint of her feelings, she'd freak out and never want to come near Willow again, so she has to keep them well hidden.

Buffy's hand came down over her pussy, blocking the water as she rubbed at her clit directly, and Willow felt the hand as vividly as if it were her own flesh being stroked and kneaded.

Then Buffy hung the showerhead up into its holder and leaned back against the wall, bracing her legs to keep from sliding down. She hooked her hand around and plunged two fingers deep inside herself. Just like that, no warning or build-up, and Willow gasped and arched upwards as Buffy impaled her body. She felt her muscles spasm and tighten around the inserted fingers, and at the self-same time she felt the hot, wet and yielding softness enveloping her fingers and gripping tightly as Buffy's muscles squeezed down on her.

> The usual problem with writing same-sex sex scenes is distinguishing which character the "she" and "her" refers to each time. (Or 'he' and 'him'.) Here, it's quite deliberately confused because it's both. Willow can feel Buffy's fingers as if they were inside her instead of in Buffy, and simultaneously it also feels like her own fingers instead of Buffy's that are in her friend's body.

Then Buffy started thrusting into herself hard and fast, making the shower water splash around her. The rhythmic slap-slap-slap of bare, wet skin against skin echoed loudly in her ears, and in Willow's ears.

> More emphasis on the reality and the physical sensations and experience of the scene, appealing to all the senses.

Buffy was making noises of her own now too, not gentle sighs and whispers but harsh grunts and low moans, like she was in pain, like she was fighting. She transfixed herself on her own fingers as if striking a deathblow, again and again. In her mind was nothing but pure focus on her sensations and actions; no elaborate fantasies here. But under it, Willow sensed urgency and hunger, a dark, violent hunger that scared her and sent her mind skittering away. She knew Buffy better than anyone, she loved her dearly as a friend, but sometimes... sometimes what lay within her frightened Willow deeply.

> Again, this is what I see as a fundamental part of Buffy's character. Slaying gets her hot; Faith knew it and Buffy's denials weren't very convincing. The scene I'm describing here, raw animal lust, need and an urgency to get herself off, is something I imagine she often feels when she gets back from a patrol. The use of fighting and killing language was deliberate, and that's actually also why I had her masturbate by penetrating herself with her fingers; it was a stabbing/staking metaphor.

It was because Buffy was a Slayer. Or maybe - maybe the darkness inside her friend reminded her too much of herself.

Her focus rebounded away from Buffy, straight back to the other Summers sister - and just in time to catch the moment as Dawn gasped then squealed out loud - loud enough, in fact, for Willow to hear it with her actual ears back in her own bedroom.

> Buffy probably doesn't hear it because of the shower running right next to her, and because she's distracted. But given that Buffy, Dawn and Willow (plus Tara in parts of S6) all have adjacent bedrooms, I can't imagine it's the sort of noise they'd be totally unfamiliar with hearing through the walls every now and then... I can't remember ever reading a fic where that sort of thing was mentioned as background setting detail rather than being part of deliberate porn, which might be interesting. Are there any?

Dawn's body curved and writhed, her back arching and lifting her clear of the sheets, her free hand clawing at the bed, every muscle locked - and then she collapsed with a tremulous sigh into a happy, satiated, completely limp and exhausted mess. Her mind slowed and seemed to darken and fade out of sight, and Willow shook with relief as the link finally broke and she lost contact.

> All that teasing and delaying comes with a big pay-off. :-)

Except, of course, that that just left her with Buffy. Who was rapidly approaching her own climax, far faster than Dawn's had been. Her left hand had been brought into play too, fingers pressing on the hard nub at the top of her slit, but her right hand was still pumping steadily in and out of her, faster and faster, driving her closer and closer to the edge. Willow could feel every thrust, her own body convulsing and gripping what wasn't there, and the urgency and need in Buffy's brain grew to envelop them both and pull her down with it into the red darkness where something primal in her growled and snarled with hunger, and then Buffy's orgasm burst on them like bright white light and silent thunder, and a flood of wetness burst out of her and splashed her hand and mingled with the shower water as it flowed away down the plughole. And Buffy sat down heavily on the floor of the bath, and her mind went dark, and Willow was finally alone again.

> Yes, I have a tendency to write the climactic paragraph of a sex scene as a breathless rush of flowing text that suddenly... Ends. Art imitates life. :-) From what little I understand about female ejaculation, most women never do it, some always do while with others it happens only rarely - and for the latter it's often as a result of g-spot stimulation. I put Buffy in the latter category here. Partly because, again, I'm wanting to make this scene vivid and earthy and, well, messy.

She wriggled uncomfortably on her bed, uneasily aware that a large wet patch seemed to have appeared from nowhere right underneath where she'd been lying. She moved to the side of the bed to try and get away from it, and waited for her pulse to stop racing so she could, hopefully, finally get to sleep.

> There's an implication there that Willow shared Buffy's orgasm without actually realising it, though it could be that she'd just been really horny and wet for the last half-hour or more and the poor sheet has suffered as a consequence.

But just as she was starting to doze off... another burning flash of sexual lust burst around her and brought her straight back to full awareness. Buffy. Again. For the second time that night. Oh Goddess, was the woman insatiable? She was in her own bed now, stretched out naked on the sheets, legs wide - in fact, in exactly the same position Dawn had been in before, although doubtless she was unaware of the coincidence.

> That's not a coincidence in my mind. Czechoslovakian monks don't know all that much about the sexuality of teenage girls, so when they made Dawn they just copied Buffy's masturbation techniques straight across. :-)

And she was alternating teasing and rubbing herself too, again just like her sister. Clearly, having worked off her first urgent post-Slayage need she was planning to make the second time last a while.

> The first time was Buffy the Slayer, and more about need than pleasure; this time is just for her, as Buffy the woman.

Willow moaned in misery and wondered if she could book a flight back to England. It was going to be a long night...

> Willow needs a girlfriend asap. Where's Kennedy? :-)
 

 


Comments

Posted by: Chani φ (frenchani)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 11:40 (UTC)

Maybe I share Willow's powers and I could hear your thoughts and feelings...:-P

As for "voyeuse" every word tend to get a feminie ending these days. For instance it's right to say "auteure" now if the writer is a woman.

One last thing. I'm pretty sure season 1 Willow had wet dream about Giles too. He migth even be in her dreams still in late seasons.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 12:29 (UTC)

I could hear your thoughts and feelings

eep! (Though if you can, I pity you...*g*)


every word tend to get a feminine ending these days

Do you mean when speaking French? In English the tendency seems to be the other way: words like "actress" or "stewardess" are falling out of use in favour of non-gendered expressions. The idea that a female voyeur should be called a voyeuse is more whimsical in English even if it would be correct grammar in French! (The word 'naive' is the opposite; only a pedant would insist that it had to be 'naif' when talking, in English, about a man...)


Willow does say she had a crush on Giles when she was younger, but personally I can't see her still feeling it in later seasons. Especially not in light of their arguments in S6...

Posted by: Chani φ (frenchani)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 18:45 (UTC)

Yes I meant when speaking French.

Willow does say she had a crush on Giles when she was younger, but personally I can't see her still feeling it in later seasons. Especially not in light of their arguments in S6...

Well, who knows what's going on in her subconscious...I said "wet dream" not conscious feelings. He just has to sing "Behind Blue Eyes". :- )

Or maybe she would prefre this sort of fantasy featuring both Tara and Giles:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo5LAqjEU_w

Also I must say that, given what we saw on screen, I can't see Willow having conscious fantasies involving Cordelia when in highschool for she didn't seem attracted to her or to any girls(and of course she wasn't since it's Xander that Joss wanted to turn gay at the time)before falling for Tara, but maybe it happened in her dreams indeed, although for some reason I'd rather believe in an unconscious attraction to Miss Calendar.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 23:27 (UTC)

Dear God, what was ASH wearing in that vid??? :-)

(I mean, I've seen the original Rocky Horror Show, and Tim Currie never looked that bad, did he?)

As for Willow/Cordelia, I blame gabrielleabelle for giving me that idea. I think it's a "love and hate are two sides of the same coin" deal or something. But sure, a crush on Jenny seems more in character for Willow. Plus, remember how endlessly fascinated she was by Buffy's love life, and how she was always encouraging her and wanting to know what was happening. You could argue it's just friendship, but alternatively, there could be some transference going on. It would be dangerous for S2 Willow to fantasise about Buffy because that might mean she was gay (oh no!), but if she fantasised about Buffy with Angel, that made it safe...

Posted by: ceciliaj (ceciliaj)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 13:52 (UTC)
tarawillowbed

This commentary is great. I love the idea of Willow getting women-centered porn/erotica to Dawn...I feel like she would start with some fairly tame stuff (S5 she gives her Judy Blume's Forever), then by S6 start reccing Ariel Schrag's comics, and then finally, by S7, leaving the good stuff in the shared bathroom intentionally -- maybe Sex for One.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 1st September 2010 00:18 (UTC)

Thanks! Though I have to confess to ignorance of the people you quoted. Probably just as well I left that paragraph out in the end... ;-)

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 31st August 2010 14:51 (UTC)
pic#87400756

It's something I've wondered; is it more common for people to have sexual fantasies about famous sex symbols, or people they know personally and have a crush on?

I think men are more likely to fantasize about celebrities than women. Men tend to be more visually focused in their sexual fantasies, and it's a lot easier to find sexy pictures and videos of, say, Kristen Bell or Kate Beckinsale than of that pretty checkout girl from the grocery store.

Also, women are more apt to fantasize about romance than just plain sex, and that's easier to imagine with someone you know personally.

I don't know if Willow's infatuation with Tina Fey would have started yet at this point. She was just a cast member on Saturday Night Live at the time this fic is set. (In my fanon, though, Willow and Tara had a regular mutual threesome fantasy involving rock singer Liz Phair...)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 1st September 2010 00:24 (UTC)

I think men are more likely to fantasize about celebrities

I've head it that women are more likely to fantasise, full stop, while men just look at the pictures. :-) Which would make sense on the celebrity-versus-real person thing. But the problem is, it's all anecdotal, unless someone has actually done research into this... I'm always suspicious of statements that "Men do this" and "Women do that" unless there's actual data to back it up.

I don't think Willow and Tara's fantasies would ever involve threesomes; they always struck me as more the "two's company, three's a crowd" types. Says the guy whose first ever porn fic was a Willow/Tara/Buffy threesome. But in my defence, they were all very drunk when it happened...





Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 1st September 2010 00:43 (UTC)
pic#87400756

I didn't say they'd ever actually *do* a sober threesome (probably)... just fantasize about it.

That's the point of fantasy, after all... this is the room where you don't have to be inhibited. :-)

Posted by: Nicki (peroxidepirate)
Posted at: 1st September 2010 00:40 (UTC)
turn me

"(In my fanon, though, Willow and Tara had a regular mutual threesome fantasy involving rock singer Liz Phair...)"

WIN. Liz Phair is all kinds of awesome.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 1st September 2010 00:26 (UTC)

Thanks!

I love thinking of ways for Buffy and Dawn to be thoroughly embarrassed by each other. :-) Though I'm not sure how they'd ever discover this particllar coincidence...

Posted by: the Vera (thevera)
Posted at: 8th September 2010 15:36 (UTC)
fangirl moment btvs buffyverse tillow

Czechoslovakian monks

Czech. Czechoslovakia ceased to exist in 1992. A national pet peeve of mine. ;)

ETA: Unless you meant they were born before 1992 thus were Czechoslovakian, but in that case we still use Czech for people born in the Czech part of Czechoslovakia. :)

Sorry for the editing!

Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed both the original fic and your commentary. I especially like your different versions of "vagina" (I'm with Willow on this one *g*) for different characters. Niffty. :)

Edited at 2010-09-08 15:44 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th September 2010 19:00 (UTC)

Sorry! I'll have to remember that the Czechs and the Slovaks got divorced and the Czech Republic got custody of Dawn. ;-)

Glad you liked the fic! (and I'm the same as you and Willow...)

13 Read Comments