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(Fic) Experimentation

11th June 2012 (01:42)
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Two fics in the same month? Must be something in the water. And this is another Buffy/Willow fic (yes, the slash there is deliberate), this one set post-series.

This was partly inspired by the discussion on BuffyForums about Buffy and Willow's relationship over the course of the show. Now, I'm not claiming my ideas here are canon or anything like that, and I could never see Buffy/Willow as a conventional 'ship - they're primarily friends, at base - but you could say that this fic is my 'shipping manifesto for them. Comments and critique are welcome!


Title: Experimentation
Characters: Buffy/Willow
Setting: Between Seasons 8 and 9.
Rating: 12 (mild sexual themes)
Word count: 620
Summary:
Buffy and Willow have finally managed to make the time for a girls' night out, to catch up with all the conversations they missed out on during the Twilight debacle. One and a half bottles of wine later, they turn to discussing Buffy's brief relationship with Satsu. And then Willow has a confession to make...




Experimentation

"I was kinda hurt by it, you know. Just a little."

Buffy raised her eyebrow enquiringly.

"If you're gonna experiment sexually - which is totally fine, I'm not criticising - but when you did, couldn't you have remembered your own best friend who was right there all along?"

"Willow!" Buffy stared at her in shock. "I didn't think - you don't like me that way... Do you?"

"That's not the point. You could at least have asked."

"But I - I didn't like to assume..." Buffy trailed off, and she seemed to be struggling for words. Then in a curious tone she asked, "So, uh, if I had, would you have said yes?"

Willow turned pink, but managed to reply in an ultra-casual tone, "Well, now you'll never know."

Buffy's expression mingled shock, surprise, embarrasment, amusement, speculation and maybe just a hint of interest in equal measures. Willow thought it was a very complex expression; she tried very hard not to giggle at it. Instead she took refuge in explanation.

"Come on, Buff. Don't you think it's something I've thought about before?"

"You've thought about having sex with me?"

Now Buffy's shock seemed to be predominating, though it was still mixed with other, more complicated emotions. Willow's complexion turned from pink to red.

"No! No, I mean, uh, I've thought about experimenting with you..." The red became bright flaming crimson. "Uh, I g-guess that means I did think about it... okay yes. I have. B-but what I meant was, I always thought you might ask me about it, and I didn't know what I should say, and whether it would be a good idea or not and what would you think about..."

"Will! Willow, stop! Breathe!"

"Uh, sorry. Um. Are you mad at me?"

"Why? For thinking about the two of us... shouldn't I be flattered, not angry? You know, I think I should be flattered." 

Willow smiled hesitantly. "So you're not mad. I guess it's a natural thing for me to think about; I was just worried that you might..."

"Of course it's natural. I mean, I totally thought about asking you to try it with me - look out!"

Only Buffy's super-fast reflexes caught the wine bottle before it spilled all over the table. Willow righted her glass again - luckily she'd just emptied it - and said in a tiny voice, "You thought about it? When?"

"Oh, back in college. And since then a few times, maybe." Buffy shrugged. "It's no big deal; I was just curious." She chuckled. "Heh. Bi-curious. I guess that's why they call it that, huh?"

"So, umm... Buffy, you know I love you. Platonicly! So don't take this the wrong way, but - why the heck didn't you ever ask me?!"

"Well... Tara. And Kennedy. And complicated life stuff. But mostly I didn't want to spoil our friendship, and I didn't want to lead you on - I mean, you know I'm not gay as such, it wouldn't be fair to you."

Willow smiled at her tenderly, touched. "Don't worry, Buffy. I do know you. Heck, why do you think I was surprised when I first saw you and Satsu? I always pegged you at 100% hetero, not, uh, 97% or whatever."

"Maybe it's as low as 96%." Buffy grinned. Was she flirting? Was that a flirtatious grin? Willow took a deep breath, then impulsively splashed more wine into her glass and took a long gulp.

"So, uh... did Satsu satisfy all your curiosity?"

"Well, maybe not all of it." Oh Goddess, that was DEFINITELY a twinkle in Buffy's eye. 

Willow drained her glass, then hastily - before the rush of courage could leave her - made the offer.

Buffy said yes.


Comments

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 12:56 (UTC)

Hmmm... seems to me Buffy is down to 90% and falling fast.

I hope poor Satsu isn't watching this on her iPad too... or if she is, that she's someplace with some privacy. :-)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 13:44 (UTC)

In strict percentage terms, the vast majority of Buffy's sexual experiences have still been with men. Probably a lot more than 96% of them. :)

I kind of hope Satsu has moved on and found someone nice by now. Possibly Kennedy, so the two of them can bitch about Buffy and Willow.

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 16:27 (UTC)

Hmmm... Buffy's Sexual Experiences Tally Sheet:

Angel: 2 (only 1 of which she remembers)

Parker: 1

Riley: God only knows... 300?

Spike: Uncertain... a couple dozen?

Satsu: 2

And now Willow: 1(?)

The Parker incident, and the first Angel incident (considering its aftermath) might actually count as net negatives toward Buffy's heterosexuality, and the season 6 Spike stuff might be a wash.

Right now it's just down to her athleticism with Riley that her positive heterosexual experiences outweigh her positive homosexual ones. (The embarrassment factor of Batsu 1.0 doesn't seem to have spoiled Buffy's enjoyment of it in the long term).

As for how Willow affects the balance... I guess we'll have to wait for the sequel to this story. :-)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 17:17 (UTC)

Possibly 0.5 or so with Faith, as well. :) My personal canon is that Buffy never did anything with Faith that she herself would acknowledge as sexual, certainly not at the time - but there might have been a few incidents during highly-charged after-slaying sessions that an older and more mature Buffy might wonder about, when she came to consider her sexuality as I've outlined in this fic.

Posted by: TimeTravellingBunny (boot_the_grime)
Posted at: 12th June 2012 22:55 (UTC)
Tarot

More like:

Angel: 3 (2 of which she remembers)

Spike: Who knows how many, but probably loads of it. Including the one (?) that lasted for 5 hours straight.

Willow: 0, not counting fanfiction.

Fanfiction:

I have no idea, I imagine she's had all sorts of sexual experiences with all sorts of people in fanfiction.

The Parker incident, and the first Angel incident (considering its aftermath) might actually count as net negatives toward Buffy's heterosexuality, and the season 6 Spike stuff might be a wash.

Right now it's just down to her athleticism with Riley that her positive heterosexual experiences outweigh her positive homosexual ones.


I don't know what you mean by 'wash', but her heterosexual experiences with Spike were certainly very positive in the sense of sexual pleasure. (And her night with Spike in Smashed was confirmed in Wrecked as the best sex she's ever had, so Sex with Spike > Sex with Riley without a doubt.)

The most obvious evidence in favor of Buffy's heterosexuality is actually that after her 2 nights with Satsu she went back to crushing on males, frakking males, sexually fantasizing about males, ogling "cute boys" and being happy that she's "out of the girlville", and again hitting on males.

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 00:49 (UTC)

Oh yeah... I forgot about/was mentally blocking the Space Frak.

I was, of course, referring to her experience with Willow in the context of the story I was commenting on.

I'm certainly not going to get into a debate on Buffy's sexuality here. Her attraction to males and females are both canonically documented and require no further comment.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 01:08 (UTC)

To play devil's advocate for a moment, Buffy also confirmed in 'Wolves at the Gate' that sex with Satsu was, at the very least, equal to sex with Spike in terms of being 'one of the best nights she's ever had'. ;)

True, she may have been exaggerating a little in the heat of the moment - but then again, she might have been in 'Wrecked' too.

Also, don't forget that in s9, Buffy's immediate reaction to discovering Willow in her bedroom the morning after a drunken party was to assume that they'd slept together. She didn't seem overly upset at the thought, either.


Personally: despite writing this fic, I've never doubted that Buffy is heterosexual, and prefers men. But she slept with Satsu twice, enjoyed it and didn't regret it afterwards - so she is at least bi-curious.

I doubt that it was something she'd never thought about before meeting Satsu - if only because she seemed to take the whole thing so much in her stride. Compare the way she freaked out in S4 when discovering Willow was gay. It seem clear that Buffy did a whole lot of thinking about sexuality issues between S4 and S8. The idea that she might at least have speculated privately about experimenting sexually with her best-friend-who's-a-lesbian, even if she never actually raised the subject with her, doesn't seem too unlikely to me. It's the sort of thing that happens in real life, too. :)

Posted by: TimeTravellingBunny (boot_the_grime)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 01:41 (UTC)
Buffy Faith Fuffy

I don't think she meant just sex when she said "mine, too" to Satsu - I'm not sure how much nights with Spike could have been considered great if you disregard sex itself and consider the shame, self-loathing etc. afterwards, or their disastrous morning after conversation in Wrecked. And considering what her morning afters with Angel and Parker were like, her relationship with Riley is the only other candidate for "nice nights" as opposed to just "good sex" or "great sex".

True, she may have been exaggerating a little in the heat of the moment - but then again, she might have been in 'Wrecked' too.

She might have exaggerated a bit in Wolves at the Gate since she and Satsu were having a nice friendly conversation, and "me too" is a nice answer to give. She definitely wouldn't have exaggerated in Wrecked when she was trying to find ways to shut Spike up and cut him down to size, but wasn't able to deny when she claimed it was the best sex she's had.

Personally: despite writing this fic, I've never doubted that Buffy is heterosexual, and prefers men. But she slept with Satsu twice, enjoyed it and didn't regret it afterwards - so she is at least bi-curious.

Bi-curious, maybe - but apparently her curiosity hasn't continued after her fling with Satsu, since she hasn't shown any particular interest in sex or relationships with women since. The Kinsey scale 1 seems like the best definition - "Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual".

Also, don't forget that in s9, Buffy's immediate reaction to discovering Willow in her bedroom the morning after a drunken party was to assume that they'd slept together. She didn't seem overly upset at the thought, either.

Well, Buffy assumed she was so drunk that she could have slept with any guy at that party (9.06), including those that she described as not showering or infrequently showering, so that's not such strong evidence of her wanting to sleep with Willow.

I doubt that it was something she'd never thought about before meeting Satsu - if only because she seemed to take the whole thing so much in her stride. Compare the way she freaked out in S4 when discovering Willow was gay. It seem clear that Buffy did a whole lot of thinking about sexuality issues between S4 and S8.

I think that because of Willow, she became a lot more comfortable with the idea, but she probably only started really thinking about experimenting with same sex relationships during her time with the Slayer Army, between S7 and S8. There were no signs of Buffy thinking about it in seasons 4, 5, 6 or 7. She was probably thinking "Why not try this, find out if it works for me". I just get the impression that the final verdict was that it was very nice, but not exactly her thing after all.

The idea that she might at least have speculated privately about experimenting sexually with her best-friend-who's-a-lesbian, even if she never actually raised the subject with her, doesn't seem too unlikely to me. It's the sort of thing that happens in real life, too. :)

I very much doubt that Buffy would speculate about experimenting sexually with her best friend, exactly because she's her best friend. It's not something that's a good idea to do with friends, IMO. For the same reason she wouldn't have wanted to sleep with Xander before she started developing romantic feelings for him - and in 9.02 her subconsciousness was still telling her it would be a big mistake.

Also, I don't think Buffy is into "friendly sex". She's never so far had sex with someone who wasn't in love with her, or that she believed was falling/going to fall in love with her (i.e. Parker). She's definitely drawn by people showing love and passion towards her - one of the reasons that she was drawn to Satsu is that there was a spell confirming that Satsu had 'true love' for her.


Edited at 2012-06-13 01:48 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 02:52 (UTC)

Buffy assumed she was so drunk that she could have slept with any guy at that party (9.06), including those that she described as not showering or infrequently showering, so that's not such strong evidence of her wanting to sleep with Willow.

'Wanting' to sleep with Willow isn't what I'm saying; she'd not pining after her or anything. But that scene does prove one thing: if Buffy wakes up to see a just-showered Willow in her bedroom, her first thought is not an innocent explanation like "Oh, Willow must have crashed here after the party". Instead her mind goes straight to, "Oh my God, Willow and I must have had sex last night." The idea is clearly NOT 'something that would never cross her mind' - because it did.

It's only afterwards that Buffy starts to speculate on whether she might have slept with someone else instead, and to have nightmares that it could have been just about anybody since she doesn't remember.


There were no signs of Buffy thinking about it in seasons 4, 5, 6 or 7.

Well, what sort of signs would you expect to see? If it was something Buffy thought about, I imagine she'd do so very privately and not talk about it to anyone. :) Also, remember the concept of this fic of mine is that Buffy had speculated about experimentation earlier but decided, for various reasons, NOT to do anything about it - at least until she met Satsu.


I very much doubt that Buffy would speculate about experimenting sexually with her best friend, exactly because she's her best friend.

People vary. It could be that Buffy would be interested in experimentation with Willow exactly because she's her best friend, and so she trusts her and is completely at ease with her.

Like I said, it happens in real life. Trust me. ;)


I don't think Buffy is into "friendly sex"

In the early seasons, probably not - she had a highly romanticised teenager's view of love, sex and relationships back then. She's older now. Sleeping with Spike in S6 certainly wasn't 'friendly' sex, but Buffy never saw it as relationship sex either. Sleeping with Satsu absolutely was friendly sex from Buffy's perspective - in fact the reason she broke off their relationship was because Satsu couldn't see it that way.

I'd agree that Buffy isn't into casual sex as such - she'd want there to be an emotional bond with her partner - but post-S5 she's definitely willing to go to bed with people she's not "in love" with.

Posted by: TimeTravellingBunny (boot_the_grime)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 10:30 (UTC)

Well, what sort of signs would you expect to see? If it was something Buffy thought about, I imagine she'd do so very privately and not talk about it to anyone. :)

Heh, well in the same way we could speculate all sorts of things that people might be thinking - but there's no textual support for it. I'm not sure when exactly she would have been thinking about it, anyway - in S4 she was with Riley, post-Riley she was first thinking of dating Ben/finding another boyfriend then deciding she better be single, in season 6 she was preoccupied with Spike and other kind of sexual exploration for that to be credible, and in S7... She didn't seem to be in the mood to think all that much about relationships or sex.

I'd agree that Buffy isn't into casual sex as such - she'd want there to be an emotional bond with her partner - but post-S5 she's definitely willing to go to bed with people she's not "in love" with.

But it's not so clear if she'd be willing to go to bed with people who are definitely and without doubt not in love with her. Whether fans see it as selfish or not, uur Buffy seems to be drawn to people showing love and passion to her. What kickstarted her relationship with Satsu in the first place was the info that Satsu was the one who gave her the kiss of true love.

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 16:32 (UTC)

As for Satsu, I'm wondering if we might see her soon, working in Kennedy's bodyguard agency?

I don't expect any further Batsu action, but Scott Allie recently mentioned that Joss still has an ongoing interest in Satsu.

I've always resisted the idea of Satsu and Kennedy hooking up, and not just for the obvious reason. Something about it just screams out "all lesbians must sleep together." I'd rather they just stay friends.

I wonder if we'll ever see Aura again?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 17:21 (UTC)

I've always resisted the idea of Satsu and Kennedy hooking up

I know what you mean; but now that Kennedy is officially single I find that I'm less resistant to the idea. Not strongly in favour of it or anything; just neutral.

I'd hope we get more backstory about Aura, but I still think it'll say a lot about Willow's current story arc if we never do - in other words, if she turns out to be just a casual hook-up Willow brought to Buffy's party.

Posted by: mr_waterproof (mr_waterproof)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 17:32 (UTC)
Vi

I thought that on the rebound from Willow, Kennedy should get together with another cute geeky redhead.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 14th June 2012 23:56 (UTC)

It's Felicia Day's character in 'Dollhouse' who was gay, not her character in 'Buffy' (as far as we know). :)

Posted by: mr_waterproof (mr_waterproof)
Posted at: 16th June 2012 11:35 (UTC)

We don't know if Vi was straight, gay, bi or asexual. I don't assume every fictional character is straight unless it is pointed out that they aren't.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 17th June 2012 02:43 (UTC)

We do know that Satsu considers Kennedy to be "the other lesbian Slayer", however. :)

(And Vi is a squad leader and a Sunnydale alumna, so presumably well-known and talked about in the Slayer organisation).

Posted by: GingerWall (gingerwall)
Posted at: 11th June 2012 20:55 (UTC)
Buffy

I loved the way you did this story.

I've never read any Buffy/Willow before (so I'm not prone to "buy it",) but this was totally in-character and just so lovely.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 12th June 2012 09:39 (UTC)

Thanks! Buffy and Willow's relationship has a great mix of friendship and snark/teasing that's just so much fun to write, regardless of whether you're slashing them together or sticking to canon...

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