(Fic) Performance Review
Prompted by the cover to BtVS 8.22, in which Kennedy goes to Japan to evaluate Satsu's performance as the newly-appointed squad leader; and a conversation between beer_good_foamyand lusciousxander, who wanted to know "What if Satsu lets slip that Willow wanted to know what Buffy's like in bed? Oooops."
Well, you might be surprised...
468 words, rating 12 (some swearing). Satsu, Kennedy.
I'm assuming for the sake of this story that Willow will still be alive after 8.19, she's still together with Kennedy, and Kennedy hasn't found out about Saga Vasuki yet.
"Nobody's ever going to let me hear the last of that, are they? You do know I moved to Tokyo to get away from all the gossip?"
"Did it work? No, don't tell me. I already know. It's why you've been going out there every night trying to prove yourself."
"I'm doing my duty as a Slayer, that's all."
"Hey, not criticising here. I can relate. Just making sure you're not trying to get yourself killed 'cause you're all lovesick and rejected and stuff."
"Of course not! And Buffy didn't reject me. It was... a mutual decision."
"Mutual, eh? Why, was she crap in bed?"
"Well, you know what straight girls are like. No imagination. And I bet she didn't even go down on you."
"I can't believe we're having this conversation. And, uh, actually, she did..."
"No shit? I thought she'd be too prissy to do anything like that. Well well. Score one for die Führerin.... hey! What's up?"
"It's just, uh, you shouldn't be talking about Buffy like that."
"Why? 'Cause she's your not-so-secret maybe-ex lover?"
"No, because she's the boss. It's disrespectful."
"Okay. I'm gonna let you into a little secret here. I do respect Buffy. But it's because she's proven she's got what it takes, not because she's our great and revered leader. All this hero-worship crap she gets showered with is so much bullshit."
"I disagree. She deserves..."
"Hell, I don't know why I'm even arguing with you, you're from..."
"If you start talking about the traditional Japanese culture of respect I will hit you on the head with an axe."
"So, you've met Andrew too, huh? But anyway, we're getting side-tracked. Let's go back to the most important subject: what's Buffy like in bed?"
"I don't believe you! You're as bad as Willow, she asked me the exact same, uh, the same... oops."
"Oh really? My. Girlfriend. Was asking you about Buffy's sexual skills?"
"So? What did you tell her?"
"Well, she was obviously just as curious as me. More, even, 'cause she's known Buffy longer. So, you told it to her, now tell it to me. Sam."
"Uh, you aren't mad?"
"Hell no. Why should I be? I just wanted to scare you a little. Looks like it worked, too. What, you thought I'd go mad with jealousy? I trust Will. And besides, don't you think the two of us haven't already discussed this in great detail already? Occasionally while wearing cheerleader outfits and a blonde wig?"
"Eww. And also, keep your grubby older-woman fantasies off my Buffy!"
"Heheh. That's the right spirit. By the way, I was kidding about the wig."
"And the outfits?"
"Uh, right. Let's review the training policy you've introduced for the East Asian squads..."