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(Fic) Performance Review

10th October 2008 (17:28)

Prompted by the cover to BtVS 8.22, in which Kennedy goes to Japan to evaluate Satsu's performance as the newly-appointed squad leader; and a conversation between beer_good_foamyand lusciousxander, who wanted to know "What if Satsu lets slip that Willow wanted to know what Buffy's like in bed? Oooops."

Well, you might be surprised...

468 words, rating 12 (some swearing). Satsu, Kennedy.
I'm assuming for the sake of this story that Willow will still be alive after 8.19, she's still together with Kennedy, and Kennedy hasn't found out about Saga Vasuki yet.

.
Performance Review

"So, I hear you've slept with La Suprema."

"Nobody's ever going to let me hear the last of that, are they? You do know I moved to Tokyo to get away from all the gossip?"

"Did it work? No, don't tell me. I already know. It's why you've been going out there every night trying to prove yourself."

"I'm doing my duty as a Slayer, that's all."

"Hey, not criticising here. I can relate. Just making sure you're not trying to get yourself killed 'cause you're all lovesick and rejected and stuff."

"Of course not! And Buffy didn't reject me. It was... a mutual decision."

"Mutual, eh? Why, was she crap in bed?"

"What?!"

"Well, you know what straight girls are like. No imagination. And I bet she didn't even go down on you."

"I can't believe we're having this conversation. And, uh, actually, she did..."

"No shit? I thought she'd be too prissy to do anything like that. Well well. Score one for die Führerin.... hey! What's up?"

"It's just, uh, you shouldn't be talking about Buffy like that."

"Why? 'Cause she's your not-so-secret maybe-ex lover?"

"No, because she's the boss. It's disrespectful."

"Okay. I'm gonna let you into a little secret here. I do respect Buffy. But it's because she's proven she's got what it takes, not because she's our great and revered leader. All this hero-worship crap she gets showered with is so much bullshit."

"I disagree. She deserves..."

"Hell, I don't know why I'm even arguing with you, you're from..."

"If you start talking about the traditional Japanese culture of respect I will hit you on the head with an axe."

"So, you've met Andrew too, huh? But anyway, we're getting side-tracked. Let's go back to the most important subject: what's Buffy like in bed?"

"I don't believe you! You're as bad as Willow, she asked me the exact same, uh, the same... oops."

"Oh really? My. Girlfriend. Was asking you about Buffy's sexual skills?"

"Uh... yes?"

"So? What did you tell her?"

"What?"

"Well, she was obviously just as curious as me. More, even, 'cause she's known Buffy longer. So, you told it to her, now tell it to me. Sam."

"Uh, you aren't mad?"

"Hell no. Why should I be? I just wanted to scare you a little. Looks like it worked, too. What, you thought I'd go mad with jealousy? I trust Will. And besides, don't you think the two of us haven't already discussed this in great detail already? Occasionally while wearing cheerleader outfits and a blonde wig?"

"Eww. And also, keep your grubby older-woman fantasies off my Buffy!"

"Heheh. That's the right spirit. By the way, I was kidding about the wig."

"And the outfits?"

"Uh, right. Let's review the training policy you've introduced for the East Asian squads..."
.

Comments

Posted by: The Anti-OTP (snowpuppies)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 16:53 (UTC)

Hee!

Cute. :)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 17:00 (UTC)

Yet also strangely disturbing...

Thanks!
:-)

Posted by: cafecomics (cafecomics)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 17:35 (UTC)

"La Suprema" as in "la Suprema Inquisición" ? I hadn't heard that phrase since my spanish civilization classes at university!

Cute story. :-)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 18:43 (UTC)
kennedy

Actually, I was thinking of "El Supremo", as a title for a brutal comic-opera style Latin American dictator (as seen in one of C S Forrester's books, actually) and made it feminine since Kennedy's talking about Buffy.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Posted by: fangfaceandrea (fangfaceandrea)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 17:48 (UTC)
delighted



LOL!!

hehehe this ficlet is made of awesome.

"Eww. And also, keep your grubby older-woman fantasies off my Buffy!"

Sometimes that's what I want to say to some authors when I'm reading bad prOn XD

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 18:44 (UTC)

:-)
I can't imagine Kennedy is more than a year or two older than Satsu, to be honest. *g*

Thanks!

Posted by: Two legs good, four legs okay (nothorse)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 19:10 (UTC)
centaur!dawn

BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Occasionally while wearing cheerleader outfits and a blonde wig?

Where's the security camera footage of that? I need to get my grubby older man fantasies on that. :)

And now I have to wonder who'd look better with the wig...

Posted by: Two legs good, four legs okay (nothorse)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 19:14 (UTC)

Oh and I do think Kennedy knows about Saga Vasuki. The relationship would probably be in danger, if it was Kennedy with the snakelady and Willow finding out, but Kennedy is self assured enough that a mystical goddess is simply no rival. Especially not one who can only be reached when Kennedy gets Willow there,

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:03 (UTC)
kennedy

I sort of agree with you; I think Kennedy knows about Saga Vasuki, but I suspect Willow hasn't filled her in on some of the details. I'd also agree that Kennedy is self-assured, and knows that Willow is in love with her, and isn't particularly threatened by other women, but she is jealous and possessive. If that makes sense... in other words, if someone else started making moves on Willow, Kennedy wouldn't be afraid that Willow would be interested, but she would be angry with the other woman.

Glad you liked the story!

Posted by: fix me, motherfucker! i'm standing right here. (immortality)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 19:25 (UTC)
[buffy] satsu | a keen and bloody sword

God, this is probably the best thing I've ever read. Not even kidding.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:03 (UTC)
satsu

*blushes* Glad you liked it. :-)

Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 19:34 (UTC)
willow wesley fetal pigs

BWAH.

(I think I would have used El Jefe)

You are so dy-no-mighty!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:06 (UTC)

I'm sure Kennedy's used every vaguely-insulting synonym for 'boss' in every language on earth to describe Buffy, at one point or another. :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 19:57 (UTC)

Hee! :)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:07 (UTC)

Thank you. :-)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 20:09 (UTC)

Hee! Very fun!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:07 (UTC)

Glad you liked it. :-)

Posted by: lusciousxander (lusciousxander)
Posted at: 10th October 2008 20:48 (UTC)

Ah-mazing! I KNEW you'd pull it off! I just love Kennedy, I'm sad she's got lots of fans who hate her. She's as funny and sarcastic as Spike if fans just gave her a chance.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th October 2008 17:12 (UTC)
kennedy

Kennedy and Spike have an incredible amount in common, don't they? Both brought in as a replacement love interest for one of the show's main characters, and therefore hated by fans of their previous relationship; both sarcastic, blunt-talking and unafraid of speaking truth to power; both tough fighters and yet with a surprisingly sensitive side that they only show to people they trust. And both hot. :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 12th October 2008 21:42 (UTC)

"If you start talking about the traditional Japanese culture of respect I will hit you on the head with an axe."

"So, you've met Andrew too, huh?


Hee!

Excellent stuff again. I have to say I would have expected a little more of a reaction from Kennedy, given her reaction in 8.16, but I can buy that she trusts Willow not to make a move on someone else more than she trusts someone else to not make a move on Willow... uh... that sentence got long. And I like the two different perspectives on Buffy The Leader (much as I have to wonder what Willow would think about Kennedy comparing Buffy to Hitler... even if her use of "Führerin" is more or less correct... uh, linguistically speaking, of course. ;-) )

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 12th October 2008 23:55 (UTC)
kennedy

Thanks! And the Andrew line was one of those that just wrote itself... though there's a deep & meaningful Point buried in that paragraph about Orientalist thinking and how I imagine Satsu would react to it. (With preemptive sarcasm, in fact.)


I would have expected a little more of a reaction from Kennedy

Well, I warned you all upfront that her reaction might not be exactly what was expected. *g* And to be honest, given the way she and Willow greeted each other in 8.16 ("Didn't miss you", "Who are you again?") it struck me that this is a couple who are very secure in their love for each other. A feeling reinforced when Kennedy's response to Willow's babbly "You know I love you" speech in the next issue was "Duh." Like nothorse says above, Kennedy's most prominent characteristic is her self-assurance; Willow noticing the existence of other women is unlikely to be something that threatens her much.

On the other hand, she is apparently hot-tempered and possessive enough to get annoyed when those other women make moves on her Willow: not because she's worried Willow will be interested back, but because they have no right to mess with her girlfriend.


I have to wonder what Willow would think about Kennedy comparing Buffy to Hitler

I think she'd roll her eyes at most of the insults and ignore them, but that particular comparison might draw a pained look and a "Hello, Jewish?" comment from her, causing Kennedy to go all earnest and remorseful and sweet for a moment as she promised to find a different expression to use instead.

And for the record, I personally believe Buffy rather enjoys Kennedy's sarkiness as an antidote to the cloying hero-worship other people give her... even in Season 7, when Kennedy shoots her mouth off and the fans are all complaining about how awful and rude she is, it's notable that Buffy always takes her seriously, and answers her questions or criticisms honestly and without taking offence; and in 8.10 she says outright that she "likes Kennedy, you know." I think she sees a lot of her younger self in her.

Posted by: fluffybkitty (fluffybkitty)
Posted at: 2nd November 2008 20:16 (UTC)
kennedy

Cheerleader outfits and a blonde wig! Hehahaha.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 2nd November 2008 22:40 (UTC)

Kennedy will deny the blonde wig forever, you know. :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: mymatedave (mymatedave)
Posted at: 11th January 2009 18:59 (UTC)

Very nice.

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