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(Fic) One Day In The Life Of Buffy Summers (Ch.6 of 10)

26th November 2008 (23:52)
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Buffy's having a really strange day.

Chapter six, and matters are starting to move towards a climax. Characters, in order of appearance: Buffy, Dawn and Willow. Rating PG. 901 words. Chapter One is here.


Ch. 6 - in which Buffy has lunch

Not wanting to risk going back into the shop, Buffy changed out of her old sweatpants in the mall's restroom - making sure to go into the right one this time. The row of urinals along one wall had completely freaked her out: did men really stand there right out in the open where any complete stranger could see them? She almost wondered for a moment if she would be expected to strip off in the middle of the floor to change into her new trousers as well, but quickly common sense prevailed and she locked herself safely into one of the cubicles.

By the time she arrived home again it was lunchtime. She pushed open the front door and was about to call out when she heard Dawn's voice being raised from the kitchen.

"What do you mean she went out?" She was sick!"

Willow's reply was a soothing murmur that Buffy failed to catch. Silently, she crept forward.

"If she's just going to make excuses to avoid going out with me, then she can keep her stupid..."

"Dawnie, no! It's not like that at all. There is something wrong with your sister. It's just not... the normal kind of wrong."

"That's not news. Are you saying there's something else wrong with her as well, then?"

"She's uh, she's not really herself at the moment. She..."

Buffy decided it was time to announce her presence, calling out from the corridor. "I'm under a spell, Dawn. Don't worry, it's only temporary."

"Huh. I thought it was something, y'know, dangerous or freaky. So what have you turned into? Can I look?"

And with that Dawn dashed through the door, saw Buffy standing there, and came to a dead stop. She blinked; tilted her head to one side... and then snorted in disgust.

"God, is that all? I thought you might have become some scaley demon or a giant insect or something. So you're a man. Big deal. What's for lunch?"

Now it was Buffy's turn to roll her eyes. "Nice to see you care so much. I've bought some beef and some potatoes; I fancy a fry-up."

"For lunch? Buffy, what's gotten into you?"

From the table, Willow interjected drily, "Clearly she's turning more male by the hour."

"We've got to kill her now, before it's too late."

"Uh, Dawnie, card-carrying lesbian feminist here and even I think killing her for being a man is a little extreme."

"Suppose so. Can we lock her in the basement instead?"

"Spike's down there, remember."

"So? They're both men now, aren't they? Hey, maybe they could do that Greek wrestling stuff together. Y'know, with oil?"

"Dawn! Shut up, you unnatural child!" Buffy tried hard to suppress the image her sister just conjured in her mind. She couldn't quite manage it. "There'll be no wrestling and definitely no oil of any kind! You're worse than Anya. I'd just like to eat my lunch in peace and then hopefully we can change me back to normal." The last part of her sentence was directed at Willow, and she raised her eyebrows hopefully.

"It's looking good, actually, Buff. I think I've narrowed it down to just a couple of possibilities, and I... ooh! Wait a minute."

Willow scowled in concentration as she turned and stared at her computer screen, then started clicking the mouse rapidly, muttering under her breath occasionally. Buffy watched her in silent expectation. Willow bit her lip, looked thoughtful then typed in a few words. Two more mouse clicks and she sat back with a radiant smile on her face.

"Of course!" She looked at the screen again... and suddenly her face seemed to crumple. All the light drained out of her eyes... and then without another word she got up and bolted out of the room. Buffy heard her footsteps pounding up the stairs... then nothing.

What on Earth?

Buffy stared after her, then turned to look at Dawn. Dawn stared back at her, equally dumbfounded - then both sisters got up at once and rushed over to look at Willow's computer. The screen was filled with windows, at least four tabs open on her browser and three separate document files open with what looked like cut-and-pasted text and images. Buffy felt nervous even looking at it, but Dawn slid into the chair in front of her and began confidently clicking on the various windows. Then she began reading out loud:

"O - uh, insert goddess name here - I call on you;
I humbly ask your will be done.
Hear my request, a simple change;
Create a daughter from a son."


"That's it? That's the spell? But it's the wrong way round; I was an, um, 'daughter' before."

"Maybe she was planning to use a new spell to turn you back, instead of finding the old spell and reversing it?"

"I guess. So why should she panic like that? Wait here, I'll go find her, make sure she's okay. Maybe you could even fix lunch, if you hate my choice so much."

And with that, Buffy walked out and then cautiously climbed the stairs.

"Will? Will, where are you? What's wrong?

The landing was deserted, and she pushed the bathroom door open to find it empty. The door to Willow's room was closed, and she knocked on it gently.

"Willow, it's me. What's the matter? Can I come in?"

No reply.



On to Chapter Seven

Comments

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 00:10 (UTC)

"Uh, Dawnie, card-carrying lesbian feminist here and even I think killing her for being a man is a little extreme."

Hee!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 10:09 (UTC)

Given Willow's personality, I suspect she may once have actually considered making up a card like that for herself... then rejected the idea as too nerdy.

Given Buffy's personality, she'd probably take Willow's comment literally too and ask to see the card. :-)

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 00:25 (UTC)

"There'll be no wrestling and definitely no oil of any kind!"

So what you're saying is, mostly-straight men aren't into slash? ;-)

And of course, the reason Willow panicked is that "daughter" doesn't really rhyme with anything useful. Not when you say it out loud, anyway. Of course, any deity that reads this might be too amused to help out, so...

O Hecate, I humbly ask -
OK, point made, please stop your laughter.
No seriously, I need some help
To turn a son back to a daughter.

Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 01:45 (UTC)

But it has to rhyme! Especially if it's not in Latin!

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 08:14 (UTC)

Haiku works for the Halliwells!

...of course, that was a vanquishing spell....

Posted by: Owen (owenthurman)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 04:26 (UTC)

Purely and unquestionably straight men like us are never, ever into slash.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 10:13 (UTC)

"daughter" doesn't really rhyme with anything useful.

Sure it does! Most notoriously, "daughter" rhymes with "slaughter". And with "ought to" and "sorta" and "water" and "caught her". In fact, the one thing it doesn't rhyme with is "laughter". :-p


And Buffy is theoretically now into femslash, probably - but given she still identifies as a woman herself, that would be way too confusing for her right now.

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 02:06 (UTC)

*Would like to see an oily Spike*

Yep yep.

Mysterious disappearance by Willow. Buffy needs to kick the door in. Or, you know, just open it or something. :)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 10:20 (UTC)

*Would like to see an oily Spike*

The image clearly stuck in Buffy's mind too, and resurfaced a few months later. I mainly put that bit in to suggest that Dawn's fantasies closely resemble her sister's.


Opening the door would be the sensible solution. Kicking it down might be the solution for someone who's currently mainlining testosterone direct from her glands. Which will Buffy choose? Tune in next week later today for the next thrilling episode!

Posted by: louise39 (louise39)
Posted at: 27th November 2008 15:13 (UTC)
Buffy eyes move

Beef for lunch = male!! Hee hee.

Love Buffy's annoyance at Dawn's casual remark, "God, is that all?"

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 28th November 2008 00:42 (UTC)

Doesn't Xander actually say something about eating beef being a male thing? Or was it Joss himself in an interview? :-)

And it's always nice to show that Dawn isn't even the tiniest bit self-centred. :-)

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