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(Fic) Buffy's Little Secret

23rd November 2009 (16:34)
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This ficlet was inspired by a certain conversation certain members of my flist were having recently. Set in early season 7, rated PG for mild suggestiveness, 278 words.

Buffy has a secret.

She's not ashamed of it, exactly. I mean, it's a perfectly reasonable thing for a girl in her position to own, isn't it? But she's never quite found the courage to tell her friends she's got one. They'd make jokes, and she'd get all tongue-twisted and blushy, as she often does when confronted by a social problem she can't solve by using violence.

She's actually had it for five years now. She doesn't think her friends suspect it's there, hidden away and covered with some of her old clothes. Mostly, it's hidden from Dawn; Buffy cringes at the thought of how her sister would react to finding it. At the very best, she'd make sarcastic comments. At worst - in the depths of her nightmares - Buffy imagines Dawn reacting with delighted glee and asking if she can borrow it and use it herself.

So she always waits until Dawn's gone out and she's sure she's alone in the house before going to uncover her secret treasure. She pushes aside the shielding cloth and lifts it out of its concealment with an air of reverence. Its weight feels heavy and solid in her grip, and the smooth hard surface warms up quickly as her body heat suffuses it. She checks the batteries still have power and runs her hand over the slightly bulbous end, wondering if she's weird for getting excited at this little ritual.

Then she puts it on her shoulder and practices calibrating the sights and priming the firing lever, before carefully putting the rocket launcher back away in its hiding place until the next time she wants to play with it...

Comments

Posted by: candleanfeather (candleanfeather)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 16:45 (UTC)

Do I feel something like fetishism there?

And Dawn with a rocket launcher.... dies... :D

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:10 (UTC)

Not at all! Buffy and her rocket launcher are just good friends!

:-)

Posted by: Caroline (jamalov29)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 17:07 (UTC)
Wicked boy

Of course it couldn't be anything else. ;)
You wonderful tease!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:10 (UTC)

Of course not. I can't imagine what anybody else expected the story to be about. ;-)

Thanks!

Posted by: flake_sake (flake_sake)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 17:19 (UTC)

Bwahahhaha! Love it!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:10 (UTC)

:-)

Posted by: The Anti-OTP (snowpuppies)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 17:29 (UTC)

Hee! Fantastic. And yeah, Dawn would totally want to play with it!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:11 (UTC)

Well, Buffy has superpowers. Dawn has to make do with rocket launchers (and landmines and assault rifles and MANPADS). :-)

Posted by: petzipellepingo (petzipellepingo)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 17:31 (UTC)
rocket launcher buffy by eyeconic

Mostly, it's hidden from Dawn; Buffy cringes at the thought of how her sister would react to finding it.

Eeep! Remember the crossbow and Ms. Kitty Fantastico...

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:12 (UTC)

Remember the scene in 'CWDP' when Dawn accidentally shoots a crossbow into the wall and has to hide the hole with a pot plant?

Imagine if she'd done that with the rocket launcher...

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 18:52 (UTC)

*grins*

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:13 (UTC)

*grins back* :-)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 19:33 (UTC)
willow lighter

Ooooo...that's clever.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:14 (UTC)

Buffy/Weapons Of Mass Destruction = OTP. :-)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 20:14 (UTC)

Tease? I don't understand? ;-)

Thanks!

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:40 (UTC)
Power

*dies*

(Is this to make up for the absent commenting earlier...?)

:D

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:49 (UTC)
buffy-rocketlauncher

Well, it sounded like you were all missing me, and you wanted Buffy/Rocketlauncher fic, so what else could I do?
:-)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:54 (UTC)

HAHAHAHAHA.

I wasn't sure if it was going to be, like, a pic of RJ or something like that at first - but even when I figured it out, still HILARIOUS. This is a primo example of why joke drabbles are totally worthwhile.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:51 (UTC)

Thanks! :-) (It wouldn't be a picture of RJ, because this ficlet is set before 'Him'. Where do you think Buffy got the rocket launcher from in that episode? SHe's been saving it all these years...)

Posted by: lara beckinsale (larabeckinsale)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 22:11 (UTC)

LMAO... :D

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:49 (UTC)

:-)

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 23:45 (UTC)

I heartily endorse and approve of this idea, as well as its execution.

Or, for short, "Heee!"

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:48 (UTC)

Well, you didn't think Buffy was going to throw the rocket launcher away after 'Innocence', did you? :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: Lirazel (penny_lane_42)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 23:47 (UTC)
Here via Emmie...
[btvs] b/s/rocket launcher = OT3

Love. It.

This was exactly what I was looking for!

Oh, the show and its phallic symbols....

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:46 (UTC)
Re: Here via Emmie...

Happy to oblige. :-) Thanks!

Posted by: Skytteflickan88 (skytteflickan88)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 00:19 (UTC)
pussy

This is wonderful.

At first I thought, "No, it's can't be". But then I thought it was. Then it turned out it wasn't. lol

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:44 (UTC)

Of course it wasn't. I would never write smut. *looks innocent*. :-)

Posted by: Rebcake (rebcake)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 07:38 (UTC)
btvs_buf_slayer

I, for one, am glad that Buffy has a little firepower in reserve for those especially stressful nights, and that she's keeping its batteries charged. A relaxed Slayer is an effective Slayer.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 20:40 (UTC)

Hee! I quite agree with you. Every Slayer should have a rocket launcher of her own. :-)

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 10:35 (UTC)

Heee! I need an icon that says "because it's wrong!"

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 20:41 (UTC)

But it's not wrong. :-)

Posted by: Nicki (peroxidepirate)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 14:44 (UTC)

Aaaahk! This is great! Who doesn't love a rocket launcher?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 20:41 (UTC)

Well, I think Spike felt a little jealous. Or possibly envious. ;-)

Posted by: ubi4soft (ubi4soft)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 17:45 (UTC)

What are the batteries for? Does she replaces them often? Are they plutonium or Duracell bunny based?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 20:47 (UTC)
buffy-rocketlauncher

The batteries keep everything humming along nicely, and bring a warm glow to Buffy's cheeks. :-)

(Seriously - if you watch the scene in 'Innocence', Buffy turns the rocket launcher on, there's a rising electronic tone, and a green light comes on next to the trigger. So logically, it must have a battery inside to power all that.)

Posted by: kerkevik (kerkevik)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 18:10 (UTC)

Oo-er missus!

The picture in my head of Buffy handling a big hard weapon...

Brrr, oh that cold water feels so good :-)

Nicely done,
Still under Willow & Tara's spell,
Ray.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 20:49 (UTC)

Well, in 'Innocence' after Buffy fired the rocket launcher, the sprinklers came on to give everybody a nice cold shower...

Thanks!

Posted by: Going through the motions (rowanda380)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 21:01 (UTC)
random commenter

lol, my head went through so many things before it came to gun, and then was confirmed as rocket launcher :0)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 19:07 (UTC)
Re: random commenter

But what else could it be?

Thanks!

Posted by: riccadonna (riccadonna)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 22:58 (UTC)

This is a lot of fun...I was so glad it was the rocket launcher and not an ordinary gun!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 19:07 (UTC)

Guns are never useful.

Rocket launchers, on the other hand, have plenty of uses if you're a resourceful young woman like Buffy. :-)

Posted by: Jen (jen_nsync_landl)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 04:32 (UTC)

*snort*

We travel in the same flisty circles, so I knew what this was going to be from word one, and still? Just. That. Awesome. ;)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 19:08 (UTC)

Nice to know it still works if you know the punchline. :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: verity (ladyofthelog)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 20:45 (UTC)

Delicious dramatic suspense. :D


Also, banner!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 25th November 2009 20:48 (UTC)

It's a fic fest now? :-)

Thanks! (and nice banner)

Posted by: Episkopos Rev. Alixtii O'Krul V, TRL (alixtii)
Posted at: 9th December 2009 14:31 (UTC)

Very in character, especially the parts about Dawn.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th December 2009 01:49 (UTC)

Dawn is the sort of person who gets excited by rocket launchers, yes. :-)

Thanks!

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