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(Fic) Buffy's Little Secret

23rd November 2009 (16:34)
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This ficlet was inspired by a certain conversation certain members of my flist were having recently. Set in early season 7, rated PG for mild suggestiveness, 278 words.

Buffy has a secret.

She's not ashamed of it, exactly. I mean, it's a perfectly reasonable thing for a girl in her position to own, isn't it? But she's never quite found the courage to tell her friends she's got one. They'd make jokes, and she'd get all tongue-twisted and blushy, as she often does when confronted by a social problem she can't solve by using violence.

She's actually had it for five years now. She doesn't think her friends suspect it's there, hidden away and covered with some of her old clothes. Mostly, it's hidden from Dawn; Buffy cringes at the thought of how her sister would react to finding it. At the very best, she'd make sarcastic comments. At worst - in the depths of her nightmares - Buffy imagines Dawn reacting with delighted glee and asking if she can borrow it and use it herself.

So she always waits until Dawn's gone out and she's sure she's alone in the house before going to uncover her secret treasure. She pushes aside the shielding cloth and lifts it out of its concealment with an air of reverence. Its weight feels heavy and solid in her grip, and the smooth hard surface warms up quickly as her body heat suffuses it. She checks the batteries still have power and runs her hand over the slightly bulbous end, wondering if she's weird for getting excited at this little ritual.

Then she puts it on her shoulder and practices calibrating the sights and priming the firing lever, before carefully putting the rocket launcher back away in its hiding place until the next time she wants to play with it...

Comments

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:40 (UTC)
Power

*dies*

(Is this to make up for the absent commenting earlier...?)

:D

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:49 (UTC)
buffy-rocketlauncher

Well, it sounded like you were all missing me, and you wanted Buffy/Rocketlauncher fic, so what else could I do?
:-)

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 21:59 (UTC)
Power

Yeah, it must be so hard for you being all loved and whatnot. We keep expecting you to show up and have fun with us. You give and you give and you give and it's never enough, is it? Everyone just keeps asking 'why can't you write more Buffy and Rocket Launcher fic?' But nobody ever asks 'why can't I just be me and find the Buffy/Spike/rocket launcher scene meh-funny, do they?'

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 01:58 (UTC)

*basks in sympathetic vibes* :-)


'why can't I just be me and find the Buffy/Spike/rocket launcher scene meh-funny, do they?'

Well, I don't want to offend the many, many people who do find that scene hilarious. But for me... it's kind of reminiscent of Benny Hill-level humour, people running around all over the place (though with less nudity), and I was embarrassed by that by the time my age reached double figures...

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 22:03 (UTC)

Um, yeah, so I think you should write a prequel to this where Faith finds the rocket launcher during Season 3 and wants to play with it, and Buffy walks in and is all embarassed... and of course, it will be full of double entendres! Because it's Faith, Buffy and a rocket launcher!

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 22:07 (UTC)

Or maybe I'll write it... or you... or me... or Beer Good... or Gabs... or Deird1...

or me...

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 23rd November 2009 23:33 (UTC)
Power

Okay, I wrote it.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 02:02 (UTC)

I find it amusing that you had this entire one-sided conversation with me in the half-hour or so while I was away from my computer. ;-)

So, who's going to write the sequel where Buffy and her rocket launcher break up? Or she leaves it for a Davy Crockett portable nuclear missile like this:


(Warning; do not fire at any target closer than a quarter of a mile to you...)

And then they reunite, and get married and have lots of baby handgrenades...

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 02:07 (UTC)

It just goes to show that you shouldn't ignore me! It makes me go and write sexy time fic starring Faith. Or maybe that's a reason to ignore me...

Sigh. Mine is a lonely lot to bear. :D

I think the rocket launcher series must be continued! Perhaps she settles for the overly shiny Davy Crockett (The Immortal) whatsit after she loses Rocket Launcher (Spike) in the Hellmouth after Chosen. But really, we need more fic set during each season where a character discovers the rocket launcher. I've already imagined a funny one starring Xander and Anya maybe set during the summer that Buffy passed away.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 02:36 (UTC)

I don't ignore you! I think about you even when I'm not posting! (Okay, that sounded way less creepy in my head. ;-) )

The Davy Crockett is definitely the Immortal. But what would be Satsu? It has to be a completely different kind of weapon system, a non-phallic one...

Are there any non-phallic weapons?


I've already imagined a funny one starring Xander and Anya

I did consider having Willow down in the basement in S5 trying to fine-tune the Buffybot's physical response systems *koffkoff* when she discovers the rocket launcher, and wonders if she can tease Buffy about it without letting on what she was doing down there in the first place...

Posted by: Emmie (angearia)
Posted at: 24th November 2009 02:44 (UTC)

I don't ignore you! I think about you even when I'm not posting! (Okay, that sounded way less creepy in my head. ;-) )

*dies laughing*

Are there any non-phallic weapons?

Xena's chakra (sp?) thingie?

I did consider having Willow down in the basement in S5 trying to fine-tune the Buffybot's physical response systems *koffkoff* when she discovers the rocket launcher, and wonders if she can tease Buffy about it without letting on what she was doing down there in the first place...

Hee! That sounds aces. I actually have a plot bunny now demanding to be written where Andrew discovers it mid-Season 6 while planting bugs in Buffy's house, gets caught and has to hide in her closet (*snerk*) and stumbles upon the rocket launcher. All while in communication with Warren and Jonathan via ear pieces.

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