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(Poll) The Grand Buffyverse TMI Poll

8th February 2010 (18:54)
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A few people have been downhearted lately because LJ is so quiet; so here's a poll to have fun with. Or possibly get thoroughly embarrassed by.

Ever wanted to ask an intimate and highly intrusive question about one of the Scoobies?  Ever wondered what fanon has to say about the more personal aspects of their lives that the show generally didn't deal with in detail? Now's your chance! Please feel free to justify your choices or tell me off for not including the option you really wanted to pick for them in the comments...

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Poll #1523038 The Grand Buffyverse TMI Poll

Who of the following is circumcised?

Xander
0(0.0%)
Oz
1(1.1%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Riley
4(4.5%)
Clem
1(1.1%)

What does Buffy's pubic hair usually look like?

Left natural
5(5.5%)
Neatly trimmed
65(71.4%)
Brazilian wax
17(18.7%)
Completely shaved
4(4.4%)

Who of the following always removes the hair from their armpits?

Buffy
0(0.0%)
Willow
0(0.0%)
Xander
0(0.0%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Dawn
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Oz (in human form)
0(0.0%)
Anya
0(0.0%)
Faith
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Tara
0(0.0%)
Riley
0(0.0%)
Joyce
1(1.1%)
Ilona Costa Bianchi
0(0.0%)

When a Slayer reaches orgasm, her vaginal muscle contractions are...

No different to a normal woman's. Slayer strength doesn't work that way.
38(42.2%)
Potentially very painful to a human partner unless she deliberately holds back.
47(52.2%)
Strong enough to shatter a vibrator or permanently cripple a man.
5(5.6%)

Does Slaying make Buffy hungry and horny?

Yes
75(83.3%)
Just hungry
6(6.7%)
No; that's just Faith, not all Slayers
9(10.0%)

Does Buffy masturbate when she gets back from patrol? (Assuming she's currently single.)

As soon as possible, urgently, and often more than once.
4(4.4%)
Yes, almost always.
23(25.6%)
Sometimes, if she feels like it.
61(67.8%)
No.
2(2.2%)

Who else knows about Buffy's post-patrol masturbation habit?

Not applicable, because it doesn't exist.
3(3.3%)
Angel, because he spied on her through her window.
1(1.1%)
Willow, because Buffy confided in her.
0(0.0%)
Willow after Season 4, because she shares Buffy's room
0(0.0%)
Joyce, because she cleans Buffy's sheets and knows about teenagers.
0(0.0%)
Giles, because the Slayer's Handbook discusses the issue.
0(0.0%)
Faith, because she's the same.
4(4.4%)
Riley, because Buffy told him.
0(0.0%)
Spike, because he understands Buffy's needs.
0(0.0%)
Spike, because he spies on Buffy just like Angel used to.
0(0.0%)
Dawn, because Buffy isn't as quiet as she thinks she is.
2(2.2%)
Someone else whom I'll talk about in a comment
0(0.0%)

What did Buffy usually do about late-night post-patrol masturbation during Season 4?

She didn't do it at all.
5(5.7%)
She did it in the graveyard before returning to the dorm.
1(1.1%)
She did it in a cubicle in the dorm's bathroom.
9(10.2%)
She kicked Willow out of bed and asked her to go down to the common room.
1(1.1%)
She made sure Willow was asleep first, and did it very quietly so as not to wake her.
70(79.5%)
She did it openly in her bed, regardless of whether Willow was still awake or not.
2(2.3%)

What would Willow be most likely to say to Buffy if *she* really wanted to masturbate one evening during season 4?

She doesn't do that sort of thing.
1(1.1%)
She wouldn't say anything, just wait and hope Buffy left to go somewhere.
54(60.7%)
"Buffy, I need to make a private phonecall. D'you mind leaving me alone for a while?"
10(11.2%)
"Buffy, I, uh, need to make a *koff* 'private phonecall', if you know what I mean. Shoo."
15(16.9%)
"Buffy, I wanna masturbate. D'you mind going downstairs for a while?"
0(0.0%)
"Buffy, I'm gonna masturbate. I won't disturb you, will I? I'll try to be quiet."
0(0.0%)
"Buffy, I'm gonna masturbate. How about you, do you wanna do it too?"
0(0.0%)
She wouldn't say anything, she'd just do it.
9(10.1%)

Which of the following people has Xander had sexual fantasies about while masturbating? (Singly or in combination)

Buffy
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Anya
0(0.0%)
Willow, before Season 4
0(0.0%)
Willow, after she came out
0(0.0%)
Joyce
0(0.0%)
Dawn, pre-season 7
0(0.0%)
Dawn, season 7
0(0.0%)
Faith
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Riley
0(0.0%)
Oz
0(0.0%)
Larry
1(1.1%)
Giles
0(0.0%)

Buffy's been drinking coffee in the Bronze all night, then goes patrolling. Inevitably, she soon needs to pee. What does she do?

Waits until she gets home. Slayers have excellent bladder control.
21(23.1%)
Cuts short her patrol and goes home straight away.
2(2.2%)
Goes looking for an all-night garage or something with a toilet.
30(33.0%)
Finds a secluded corner of the graveyard to pee. Preferably not on an actual grave.
38(41.8%)

In 'Chosen', Xander warns the Potentials to go to the toilets before the battle so they don't wet themselves with fear once the fighting starts. Did that ever actually happen to him or the other Scoobies?

No, never.
8(8.8%)
It might have done once or twice.
60(65.9%)
It's a typical human reaction to sudden and extreme danger, so yes.
23(25.3%)

Who of the following would pee in the shower?

None of them. Eww.
12(14.1%)
Buffy
0(0.0%)
Willow
0(0.0%)
Xander
5(5.9%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Dawn
0(0.0%)
Joyce
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Oz
1(1.2%)
Anya
2(2.4%)
Faith
2(2.4%)
Tara
0(0.0%)
Riley
1(1.2%)

Menstrual blood is:

Dead, and therefore not attractive to vampires.
19(20.9%)
Blood, and therefore a tasty snack for vampires.
72(79.1%)

Can Spike or Angel smell when Buffy is on her period?

Yes, and from a considerable distance away.
27(29.7%)
Yes, but only when they're fairly close to her (same room).
54(59.3%)
Yes, but only at very close range.
9(9.9%)
No.
1(1.1%)
.

Comments

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:16 (UTC)
masturbation

This poll made me giggle.

Who of the following is circumcised?

Anybody who was born in the US, basically. Except Clem.

What does Buffy's pubic hair usually look like?

See, I think this varies depending on the season. In S1-S2, I can see her shaving it all, and maybe getting a Brazilian in S3 and S4. But then in S5 and S6, definitely, when things start getting more dire, she doesn't have the time/energy/money to devote to personal grooming so she opts to trim, instead. Maybe even in S6, she goes the for the natural look just because she's not bothering to think about it too much (Or because she's under the impression Spike would find it a turn-off so she grows it out to spite him (like when she cut her hair) except Spike doesn't care, so it doesn't really work so she ends up trimming anyway because it bothers her).

Who of the following always removes the hair from their armpits?

Hmmm...most of the ladies except Willow, Faith, and Tara, all of whom I can see going, "Ah, fuck it" sometimes and letting it chill. And I recall Oz, Angel, and Riley being smooth-shaven under their arms...

When a Slayer reaches orgasm, her vaginal muscle contractions are...

The middle option. That's why Spike a vampire is her ideal partner.

Posted by: eowyn_315 (eowyn_315)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:41 (UTC)

Or because she's under the impression Spike would find it a turn-off so she grows it out to spite him

This, lol. I think Buffy's pretty serious about her personal grooming, unless she can use it to spite Spike.

Hmmm...most of the ladies except Willow, Faith, and Tara, all of whom I can see going, "Ah, fuck it" sometimes and letting it chill.

I think there's a distinction to be made between "Ah, fuck it, it's winter and no one will see" and "Ah, fuck it, I'm wearing a tank top and don't care if people see my hairy pits." I'd say the former still counts as shaving (most of the time, at least), and I'd definitely put Willow and Faith in that category.

We've seen Faith wear tank tops a lot, and I don't recall ever seeing hair.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:51 (UTC)

Posted by: eowyn_315 (eowyn_315)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:58 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:56 (UTC)

Posted by: Barb (rahirah)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:30 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:32 (UTC)

Posted by: eowyn_315 (eowyn_315)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:08 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:47 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:59 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:37 (UTC)

Posted by: Barb (rahirah)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:33 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:57 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:27 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 02:11 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 02:33 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 03:04 (UTC)

Posted by: ladypeyton (ladypeyton)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:28 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:01 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:28 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:36 (UTC)

Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 11:21 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:28 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:54 (UTC)

Posted by: ladypeyton (ladypeyton)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:30 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 19:25 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:38 (UTC)

Who of the following is circumcised?

All the Americans. None of the rest.


Joyce, because she cleans Buffy's sheets and knows about teenagers.

In my experience *coughs*, I wouldn't expect it to be obvious from the state of Buffy's sheets that she'd been masturbating. There just wouldn't be that much to look at.


Menstrual blood is:

Menstrual blood is gross. And has little bits of gunk in it. I doubt vampires would find it particularly appetising.


Who of the following would pee in the shower?

I said Xander, Dawn, Oz, Anya, and Faith. Anya would have many sensible arguments ready as to why it was perfectly hygenic and saved on toilet cleaning. The others would just go "Eh. Screw it. Too complicated having to get out."

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:56 (UTC)


Menstrual blood is gross. And has little bits of gunk in it. I doubt vampires would find it particularly appetising.


Yes. This.

Posted by: Trepkos (trepkos)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 09:14 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 19:58 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:59 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:58 (UTC)

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 12:23 (UTC)

Posted by: Chani φ (frenchani)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 20:07 (UTC)

Oh, Stephen...

Ceci dit j'ai répondu!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 20:26 (UTC)

But you're too shy to elaborate on your responses? :-)

Posted by: Chani φ (frenchani)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 20:29 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:00 (UTC)

For the record, these are the reasons for my replies - I've skipped those where I replied in comments to other people.

2. I suspect she's tried all four options at one time or another, but as a general rule just wants to keep things neat.

4. I tend to view Slayer strength as something Buffy can draw on when she needs it, rather than it being "always on". Despite being pretty clumsy at times she doesn't smash furniture or knock holes in walls on a regular basis.

6. Dawn says in S7 that Buffy goes straight to the refrigerator after a patrol and is "such a pig" with how much she eats. I assume the 'horny' part of the equation works the same way. :-)

7. I think Buffy probably confided in Willow in S4 after several frustrated nights wondering how she was going to cope...

8. Which is why I went for the final option here. While I do think that Buffy would prefer to be discrete if possible, Willow would have assured her that she really doesn't mind, because it's Slayer stuff and that's important. I also don't think Buffy would be happy with secrecy; she'd want to get Willow's permission.

9. My answer here is based on the previous answer. Once Willow and Buffy agree that it's okay for Buffy to masturbate in her bed when she gets back from patrol - and Buffy would obviously assure Willow that she's free to do the same if she wants - I think over the course of the year they'd gradually move to more and more openness. Though maybe not all the way to my 7th option. :-)

10. Among the guys I only picked Spike because I think that pre-Anya, Xander would be too inhibited to fantasise about men even in the privacy of his own head.

11. I think Buffy is practical and pragmatic about such things. Though I can imagine Faith being surprised (and impressed) by Miss Perfect Middle Class Cheerleader's lack of squeamishness.

Also, I'm guessing nobody is ever going to write the fic where a newly-risen vampire surprises Buffy with, literally, her pants round her ankles. ;-)

12. I imagine it happened once or twice, and might have happened more often had not the Scoobies learned to follow the same advice Xander gives the Potentials.

13. See my reply to deird1. Out of Buffy and Dawn I picked Buffy for the same reasons in answer 11; I also picked Joyce on the basis that her daughter probably takes after her. :-) (A poll on the RPGnet web forum, with around 60 replies, showed that roughly 50% of the respondents have no problem with peeing in the shower and the other 50% think it's a disgusting idea).

14. I think it would be something of an acquired taste for vampires. Like blue cheese. :-)

15. I went for 'in the same room' assuming she's wearing sanitary protection and the smell is overlain with all her other scents. A newly-removd tampon might be detectable from further; vampires can smell blood from a really long way away.

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:11 (UTC)

(A poll on the RPGnet web forum, with around 60 replies, showed that roughly 50% of the respondents have no problem with peeing in the shower and the other 50% think it's a disgusting idea).

*raises hand for the former*

Hey, it's practical and efficient!

Now peeing in pools...that's not cool.

I think it would be something of an acquired taste for vampires. Like blue cheese. :-)

Ew. *makes face*

15. I went for 'in the same room' assuming she's wearing sanitary protection and the smell is overlain with all her other scents. A newly-removd tampon might be detectable from further; vampires can smell blood from a really long way away.

Some have made a connection between Xander clumsily finding a tampon in Buffy's purse in School Hard with Spike's "Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a nice ripe...girl" later in the episode. :)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:30 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:39 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:42 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:04 (UTC)

Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 11:40 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 15:52 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:57 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 19:55 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:40 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:50 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:06 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:31 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:36 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:38 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:39 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:42 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:42 (UTC)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:24 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:40 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:46 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:49 (UTC)

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:52 (UTC)

Posted by: ladypeyton (ladypeyton)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:24 (UTC)

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:21 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:08 (UTC)

Posted by: petzipellepingo (petzipellepingo)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:42 (UTC)
giggle snort buffy by eyesthatslay

I just want to say that this made me snort - a lot.

And Spike was born in the 1880s, I doubt circumcision was popular for non-Jews back then.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 21:48 (UTC)

According to Wikipedia, which has an article on just about everything...

"In 1891 the president of the Royal College of Surgeons of England published On Circumcision as Preventive of Masturbation, and two years later another British doctor wrote Circumcision: Its Advantages and How to Perform It." So Spike/William was probably a generation too early to be circumcised, but if he'd lived to have children he might well have thought about having it done to them.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:19 (UTC)
Grandma infinitemonkeys

I'm surprised that anyone would think Giles would be circumcised - Brits don't usually go in for genital mutilation - at least not CofE Brits!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:37 (UTC)

Prince Charles is circumcised. :-)

Between about 1890 and 1950 doctors recommended it for "hygiene" reasons (preventing masturbation, really) but it fell out of popularity in Britain after WW2, while in America it did the reverse and became even more popular.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:59 (UTC)

Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 11:57 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:01 (UTC)

Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 21:07 (UTC)

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:20 (UTC)

Vaginal muscles - not really. Hips and thighs, on the other hand... there's a reason Riley always moved so stiffly in s5.

And Xander has fantasized about Riley having sex with Buffy. For Buffy's sake. Totally. Yup. No other reason.

Can Spike or Angel smell when Buffy is on her period?

Hmmm... and suddenly Spike sniffing Buffy out in "Empty Spaces" and then spending the night with her with no sex involved takes on a different angle.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 22:38 (UTC)

And Xander has fantasized about Riley having sex with Buffy. For Buffy's sake. Totally. Yup. No other reason.


That seems likely. :-)

Posted by: candleanfeather (candleanfeather)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 23:01 (UTC)

Giggles maddly!

About Clem, do you have any idea what his genitals look like? :)

Hesitated about slayage making Buffy hungry and horny. I don't believe slayers are all alike, but ... ponders once again

You forgot linoleum for Xander. Tssk. I added Spike and Riley to the girls.... ;)

I totally think Willow would pee in the shower, she's a rebel, damn it! Giles too, he may be a little uptight but he's also a pragmatist.

Menstrual blood. Gross. And I won't look at blue cheese in the same way for a very long time. Ewww. You criminal!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 8th February 2010 23:23 (UTC)

Regarding Clem: no, and quite frankly it's not something I care to think about. :-)


Hesitated about slayage making Buffy hungry and horny.

Remember the scene in S4 when she and Riley first have sex? The way the camera kept cutting between them fighting a demon together and them going to bed together immediately after?

Or the times fighting Spike turned into fucking Spike?

Or when Faith challenged her to agree that slaying vampires gets her "a little bit juiced" she blushed and stammered but didn't actually deny it?

I don't think it's some overwhelming magical Slayer lust spell or anything, but I don't think there's any doubt that violence gets Buffy hot.


I totally think Willow would pee in the shower, she's a rebel, damn it!

I certainly agree that if she ever did, she'd think she was being utterly naughty and rebellious. :-)


I won't look at blue cheese in the same way for a very long time.

Blue cheese is the curdled secretions from a cow's mammary glands left to rot until mould starts growing over it. I'm not sure how it can be made any more disgusting simply by comparing it to something else. ;-)

(And yes, I do eat it myself.)

Posted by: Barb (rahirah)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 00:41 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:09 (UTC)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:21 (UTC)

1. I know nothing about this topic, lol, no surprise there. I don't even know if my brother is or not, although, really, certainly not something I'd ask him...Oh, but for Clem, I imagine he wouldn't be out of pride of extra skin in general, since S8 tells us it's possible to get the extra skin removed in a procedure and look pretty much like most humans...but so not a topic I want to dwell on. :D

2. I think Gabs' description was totally interesting, but in general, neatness is something she's into.

3. The inclusion of guys in this one surprised me - again displaying my lack of guy-knowledge, but is that common for guys to do? I had never really heard of anyone but like swimmers doing it.

I do think Tara would be the type to either not at all or only sometimes, although not quite out of a hippie/standing up to patriarchy thing, cause at least before she met Willow she's too meek for that. I can also see her mom dying/starting to get sick without having taught her, and being too afraid/embarrassed to ask her dad to buy her a razor, and then never getting into the habit...

As for the other girls, I imagine most do it pretty often, but it would be totally common to be lazy and not do it for awhile. I do see Faith as controlling her sexual appeal by doing it often.

4. Probably in between like you said. I can't see Buffy getting it on much, or Nikki having a kid, if it's all permanently crippling. :D

5. Um, no shit? So much canon evidence for this one.

6. Totally! Slaying is basically like really intense exercise, for a person who's like intune to mystical forces and plus it's all violent. How could that not end in horniness and masturbating...

I do wonder if Buffy-in-a-relationship would always insist on getting it on post-patrol, and being upset when her boyf wasn't around to do his duty. :P

7. I can see a lot of people knowing by just guessing/assuming, and Spike and Angel would totally spy. Plus I think both Spike and Faith would just get the whole violence-is-sexy thing since they're such sexual and violent people. Joyce might have assumed/heard, but like deird said, there wouldn't really be any sheet evidence for her to see.

8 and 9. I think the answers to these can get racier as you veer away from strict canon and into Buffy/Willow. I'm honestly not altogether sure what's the "right" answer, since I could see a lot of these being IC, especially since I think slight/undertones/tension of Buffy/Willow, certainly unrequited on Willow's part, is so not out of canon line. Which I have you to thank for corrupting me on that one, mister. :)

10. Basically everyone? Lol. I could so see him ending up having fantasies about just about everyone, regardless of whether he actually has pent-up feelings for them or not.

11. GROSS. But I can totally see Spike getting into it EW EW EW.

12. I agree with your answer.



Very fun poll. :P

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:14 (UTC)

The inclusion of guys in this one surprised me - again displaying my lack of guy-knowledge, but is that common for guys to do?

Common? I don't know. But armpit hair was evolved by nature to trap sweat so it would be smellable by anyone coming near us, and in modern society that's usually considered a bad thing, so shaving it off can be seen as a hygiene measure...

I do wonder if Buffy-in-a-relationship would always insist on getting it on post-patrol, and being upset when her boyf wasn't around to do his duty.

I suspect she'd simply masturbate if there was no man (or Satsu) around to do the job. For that matter, I imagine Buffy's post-Slayage horniness is rather too aggressive, predatory and self-focussed for someone like Riley to enjoy making love to her at that time; he might actually prefer it if she works off the worst of the tension alone. Spike, of course, thinks aggression and self-obsession are sexy.
:-)

I'm honestly not altogether sure what's the "right" answer, since I could see a lot of these being IC

I think so too. Every single example I gave in those two questions is a potential B/W plotbunny. :-)

This fic weirded me out slightly because it's almost exactly the conversation I imagined the two of them having, word for word... (Though I think Buffy would have hesistated for a few days rather than come straight out with it on their first night sharing a room).

11. GROSS. But I can totally see Spike getting into it EW EW EW.

um, question 11 was "Where would Buffy go to pee if she needed to while on patrol?" I'm not sure Spike would 'get into' that, although vampires are kinky by default so you never know... Did you mean to refer to the menstrual blood one?

Posted by: ((Anonymous))
Posted at: 9th February 2010 21:06 (UTC)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 01:26 (UTC)

Does Slaying make Buffy hungry and horny?

This one deserves a little comment...I said yes, but I'm still trying to work out whether it's a mystical/Slayer thing or just an adrenaline response, and in the latter case a "sometimes, for some Slayers" rather than an "always".

The reason it's of interest is Dena, the fundamentalist Slayer I'm writing in DeadWar: Schism. I'm trying to decide whether it's funnier if slaying makes her horny...or if she only thinks it does and that she's morally superior for resisting temptation. (It's a running joke that Oz and the other Slayers she works with are amused by how hungry it makes her, though.)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:21 (UTC)

I do think it's mystical, because otherwise all the other characters who help Buffy would feel the same way... Though you could argue that it's a heightened version of the normal human "Thank God I'm alive!" feeling after a battle, magically amplified the same way Buffy's strength and reflexes are.

To me as well there's an element of the Slayer Spirit being hungry for Life (food and sex, symbolically) after it's sought Death.

However, I can certainly see the intensity of the feeling differing from Slayer to Slayer. (Maybe one who's really in tune with her nature, like Buffy later in the series, would feel it more strongly than, say, Kendra).

The slayer's own personality would also influence whether they indulged those feelings to the maximum (Faith), felt faintly embarrassed by them but acknowledged them (Buffy), or sought to suppress them as unseemly (Kendra).

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 20:06 (UTC)

Posted by: Jeeps (glitterdemon)
Posted at: 27th February 2010 12:18 (UTC)

Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 02:44 (UTC)
faith S4 puppy

You give great poll.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:22 (UTC)

:-)

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:23 (UTC)

I don't. :-)

I don't know if you saw my comment above - there was a poll on another web forum, and about 50% of the people said they did it (with much the same attitude as you have) and the other 50% said they never do (with reactions varying from 'Not my thing' to 'Ewwww!').

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: gillo (gillo)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 12:55 (UTC)
reclining

I always use the loo before a shower, so I've never felt the need to pee whilst showering.

I'm utterly convinced that vampires would not be squeamish about feeding off menstrual blood, as long as it was fresh and the area was cleanish at the time - after all, they feed off whores who rarely wash their necks! Most women I know find their own menstrual blood gross, but I doubt if many of them enjoy the taste of blood from any other source either.

I don't think Buffy would pee in the graveyard because it would render her very vulnerable to attack - and slayer muscles probably give her a bladder of steel anyway.

Good poll. I've friended you, since I always seem to be visiting via recs anyway. Hope you don't mind.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:26 (UTC)

You have an icon showing Spike's armpit hair! :-)

I agree with your first two points; I think Buffy would be aware of the risk in the third, but personally I think it would mean she'd be careful (checking the graveyard first, not after) rather than never doing it that way.


I've friended you, since I always seem to be visiting via recs anyway. Hope you don't mind.

You know, I've seen you around this corer of fandom so often I didn't realise we hadn't already friended each other. :-)

Posted by: Peasant (peasant_)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 13:12 (UTC)

Best poll ever!

If Spike doesn't at least trim under the arms he is weirdly deficient.

On the question of peeing in graveyards, I reckon Buffy would have held on like mad when she first started out, thus ruining her bladder so she now has to go more often than normal folk. She then tried a dash for the nearest public restroom every time and found she always had to stop and kill at least two vamps en-route and another in the place itself, and there is nothing worse than trying to do high leg kicks with crossed legs. So now she slips behind a designated gravestone and the vamps politely leave her alone until she has finished. She has also invested in a shewee and swings between being deeply ashamed of it and thinking it the best invention ever.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:28 (UTC)

Your analysis seems spot-on to me, except I'm not sure all the vampires will be that polite. (Though I can imagine one going for the attack and his friend grabbing him and saying "Dude, let her finish. Show some class".)

Posted by: ladypeyton (ladypeyton)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 16:11 (UTC)
BEST. POLL. EVAR.

For circumcised I went with the American men.

Brazillian. Definitely Brazilian. All those high kicks in short skirts? Yep Brazillian.

For armpit hair removal, I figure all of the women, with Willow and Tara possibly being the ones who occasionally overlook that aspect because...you know...witches.

Slayer orgasms are tighter because that is funny.

Slaying definitely makes Buffy hungry and horny. It's pretty much stated in season 3.

Of course Buffy masturbates when she gets back from patrol. Although why always wait til you get home? Buffy, when she lets loose, is a kinky, kinky lady.

Who else knows about Buffy's post-patrol masturbation habit? Kinky or not she's also very embarrassed by the whole sex thing so probably as few people as possible. Aside from the nosy peeking toms (Angel, Spike and Dawn) and Faith who has an inside line to Buffy's psyche, I'm guessing no one else knows. Joyce probably has a clue, though. Mothers just seem to know that stuff. Something to do with once being a teenager themselves or something. Hell. I watched my infant daughter hump her high chair daily for a year. I have no illusions as to whether or not her 8 year old self is exploring her body.

What did Buffy usually do about late-night post-patrol masturbation during Season 4? Willow's got to sleep sometime.

What would Willow be most likely to say to Buffy if *she* really wanted to masturbate one evening during season 4? Nothing. Buffy goes on patrol so often that the point is moot.

Which of the following people has Xander had sexual fantasies about while masturbating? The question should read: "Which of the following people HASN'T Xander had sexual fantasies about while masturbating?" The answer is Angel. Dawn isn't *that* much younger than him.

Buffy's been drinking coffee in the Bronze all night, then goes patrolling.
Inevitably, she soon needs to pee. What does she do? I was a letter carrier. When you have a regular job that you have to routinely do outdoors you know where *ALL* the public restrooms are that you can get access to on your regular route.

In 'Chosen', Xander warns the Potentials to go to the toilets before the battle so they don't wet themselves with fear once the fighting starts. Did that ever actually happen to him or the other Scoobies? It might have done once or twice. Shit happens. (don't hit me!)


Who of the following would pee in the shower? Men and probably Faith

Menstrual blood is: a yummy yummy treat that can be smelled for miles if you are a vampire.

Edited at 2010-02-09 16:14 (UTC)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 17:35 (UTC)
Re: BEST. POLL. EVAR.

All those high kicks in short skirts? Yep Brazillian.

Now that's a good point. :-)


For armpit hair removal, I figure all of the women, with Willow and Tara possibly being the ones who occasionally overlook that aspect

One possible other exception is Anya, because she doesn't understand these crazy human obsessions. Body hair means you're an adult, not a child, and people who expect a woman to remove it are trying to infantilise her.


When you have a regular job that you have to routinely do outdoors you know where *ALL* the public restrooms are that you can get access to on your regular route.

Would a small American town like Sunnydale actually have public restrooms, though? At least ones that are open late at night?


Who of the following would pee in the shower? Men and probably Faith

I'm not sure it's a gender thing, myself (though I can imagine women being more embarrassed about admitting it...)

Posted by: ladypeyton (ladypeyton)
Posted at: 9th February 2010 18:15 (UTC)
Re: BEST. POLL. EVAR.

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