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StephenT [userpic]

Request

23rd August 2010 (18:31)
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*shuffles feet, looks down at floor, clears throat*

Would anyone be willing to read through a story of mine before I post it? I should warn you, it's NC17 rated and kind of pervy and PWPlike. (Because, you know, it's been months since I wrote anything like that, and I thought it was time I got back into practice *g*)  3133 words. More details (slightly spoilery) under the cut.


The story includes references to a couple of female characters masturbating. Last time my fic included something like that, several of my flist members commented to say that they didn't think women's bodies worked in quite the way I'd written. So I thought it might be useful to have someone skim through my story to make sure I haven't made any similar mistakes this time around. :-) I wouldn't expect a full in-depth beta reading necessarily, though any other comments or suggestions you wanted to make would be welcome. Just a fact check. Please, leave a comment if you're interested.



On a related note (same story) would a house such as Buffy's in Sunnydale have air conditioning in the bedrooms? Part of the set-up is that it's an uncomfortably hot night, and I don't know whether it can stand as it is, or if I should insert a line into the opening paragraph noting that the aircon is broken and Buffy can't afford to have it fixed yet...


Comments

Posted by: ladydorotea (ladydorotea)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 20:53 (UTC)

Most all homes here in US have central air conditioning - the heat and cool system is usually one and the same you adjust the thermostat to set the temp and it is all air and ventilation system - air comes out from air-ducts in every room, not steam like in some places in EU. So, if the central air unit is broken there would be no cool or heat, and it might take you a coupla days to get somebody come see and fix it. Btw , this is very silly IMHO, since you need humidifiers all over the house as well or you continuously have problems with air in the house being too dry...

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 21:23 (UTC)

Thanks for the detailed information! It's mostly just atmosphere and mood-setting rather than plot-relevant, but it's the sort of thing that can trip you up if you're not careful.

Posted by: GingerWall (gingerwall)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 22:11 (UTC)

Except in the places where the humidity is so high that often you turn on the AC not because it's too hot but because everything in your house gets damp otherwise.

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