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StephenT [userpic]

Request

23rd August 2010 (18:31)
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*shuffles feet, looks down at floor, clears throat*

Would anyone be willing to read through a story of mine before I post it? I should warn you, it's NC17 rated and kind of pervy and PWPlike. (Because, you know, it's been months since I wrote anything like that, and I thought it was time I got back into practice *g*)  3133 words. More details (slightly spoilery) under the cut.


The story includes references to a couple of female characters masturbating. Last time my fic included something like that, several of my flist members commented to say that they didn't think women's bodies worked in quite the way I'd written. So I thought it might be useful to have someone skim through my story to make sure I haven't made any similar mistakes this time around. :-) I wouldn't expect a full in-depth beta reading necessarily, though any other comments or suggestions you wanted to make would be welcome. Just a fact check. Please, leave a comment if you're interested.



On a related note (same story) would a house such as Buffy's in Sunnydale have air conditioning in the bedrooms? Part of the set-up is that it's an uncomfortably hot night, and I don't know whether it can stand as it is, or if I should insert a line into the opening paragraph noting that the aircon is broken and Buffy can't afford to have it fixed yet...


Comments

Posted by: Owen (owenthurman)
Posted at: 23rd August 2010 23:52 (UTC)
sith

In most American homes constructed since the war, there would be central heat and air conditioning. In a lot of older ones, such as 1630 Revello, it would have been retrofitted.

But on the coast in California air conditioning is optional. I've worked in towns between SF and LA and never stayed in a house with air con. Even in LA and San Diego really hot days are rare and followed by cool nights. As you go even fifty miles inland, refrigerated air is not optional but a basic condition of human life.

So you can have it either way depending on your imagined location of Sunnydale. Have you reviewed Amends for definitive answers to the air con question? That was the only time it was hot at all in Sunnydale and it seemed quite special.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:26 (UTC)

Aha! Good reminder. This is in the 'Amends' script:

BUFFY: Oh, yes, nothing like a roaring fire to keep away the blistering heat.
JOYCE: Oh, come on, it's lovely. (beat) Maybe I should turn on the air conditioning.

So they do have it, and presumably it'll be the central air type other people have described - but based on Joyce's words here and your explanation, they probably wouldn't need it to be on all the time. (In my Buffyverse, Sunnydale is where Santa Barbara is in real life, and the surrounding area is less built up/more desert-like because of the Hellmouth driving down real estate values...)

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