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StephenT [userpic]

Request

23rd August 2010 (18:31)
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*shuffles feet, looks down at floor, clears throat*

Would anyone be willing to read through a story of mine before I post it? I should warn you, it's NC17 rated and kind of pervy and PWPlike. (Because, you know, it's been months since I wrote anything like that, and I thought it was time I got back into practice *g*)  3133 words. More details (slightly spoilery) under the cut.


The story includes references to a couple of female characters masturbating. Last time my fic included something like that, several of my flist members commented to say that they didn't think women's bodies worked in quite the way I'd written. So I thought it might be useful to have someone skim through my story to make sure I haven't made any similar mistakes this time around. :-) I wouldn't expect a full in-depth beta reading necessarily, though any other comments or suggestions you wanted to make would be welcome. Just a fact check. Please, leave a comment if you're interested.



On a related note (same story) would a house such as Buffy's in Sunnydale have air conditioning in the bedrooms? Part of the set-up is that it's an uncomfortably hot night, and I don't know whether it can stand as it is, or if I should insert a line into the opening paragraph noting that the aircon is broken and Buffy can't afford to have it fixed yet...


Comments

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 00:32 (UTC)
pic#87400756

Oh, and sorry for the double post, but I could swear I remember a window-unit air conditioner in the window of Buffy's bedroom during the first season or two.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 02:36 (UTC)

I just checked a couple of screen shots, but couldn't see one. And this view shows both windows and there's no aircon unit in sight:



(It's an S7 story)

Edited at 2010-08-24 02:37 (UTC)

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 24th August 2010 04:58 (UTC)
pic#87400756

It would have been from an early episode, before that window was required for Buffy to climb out of, and Angel to climb in. Maybe in the first couple of episodes.

But we can probably just chalk it up to Joyce springing for the central AC at some point.

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