My initial reaction to reading today's Season 9 'Buffy' comic... in the form of a short play. :)
SCENE: The house of Joss Whedon, in the year 2011.
An expensive Beverley Hills mansion overlooking Hollywood. Sitting on chairs and sofas pulled into a circle in the front room are JOSS WHEDON, ZACK WHEDON, ANDREW CHAMBLISS, JANE ESPENSON, SCOTT ALLIE, and DREW GREENBERG.
FADE UP at the end of Joss's initial presentation.
JOSS: ...So that's the pitch for Season 9: back to basics. There's no more magic, so Buffy has to face more normal, human-scale challenges. So let's brainstorm some ideas!
DREW: I assume the idea is to cause the maximum emotional pain and suffering to the poor girl?
JOSS: Well, obviously.
ANDREW: How about...
ANDREW (CON'T): ... killing one of her friends?
JOSS: I like what I'm hearing so far. Go on.
SCOTT: We could kill Spike!
JANE: I''ve told you already, Scott, the fans wouldn't go for that.
JANE: But could we kill Dawn instead? Huh?
ZACK: Joss, don't you think killing your characters is getting a bit clichéd?
JOSS: What? I didn't kill anybody in Firefly...
JANE: Only because it was cancelled before you got chance. You sure made up for that in the movie, Mr "Leaf on the Wind".
JOSS: But killing people's friends brings such wonderful misery and despair.
SCOTT: Do you have to actually kill them? Couldn't someone just, like, lose an arm or something?
DREW: Buffy could lose her arm.
ZACK: And it would be all metaphorical and shit. 'She's lost her right hand'.
JOSS: I like it! But this is a brainstorming session, so let's hear some more ideas.
JANE: How about if Buffy gets pregnant?
JOSS: No, that wouldn't work. No magic, so no more mystical pregnancies.
JANE: No, Joss, I mean a perfectly normal human pregnancy.
JANE: No magic or demons or mystical phlebotinum or anything.
JOSS: I... my God, you're a genius! I'd never have thought of that!
SCOTT: Who would be the father?
JOSS: We'll work that part out later when we come to it.
ANDREW: So, you want me to write a Buffy pregnancy story? Or do I write about her losing her arm?
SCOTT: They'd both be controversial storylines. It would get us lots of publicity.
(Everybody else glares at Scott)
SCOTT: Um, I mean they'd both be artistically valid and meaningful stories. *koff*
ZACK: So, Joss, which will it be? Pregnant Buffy or maimed Buffy?
CLOSE UP on Joss. An evil grin spreads slowly across his face as creepy music plays in the background.
JOSS: We'll do BOTH!
Actual review of the issue coming later...