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(Fic) Experimentation

11th June 2012 (01:42)
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Two fics in the same month? Must be something in the water. And this is another Buffy/Willow fic (yes, the slash there is deliberate), this one set post-series.

This was partly inspired by the discussion on BuffyForums about Buffy and Willow's relationship over the course of the show. Now, I'm not claiming my ideas here are canon or anything like that, and I could never see Buffy/Willow as a conventional 'ship - they're primarily friends, at base - but you could say that this fic is my 'shipping manifesto for them. Comments and critique are welcome!

Title: Experimentation
Characters: Buffy/Willow
Setting: Between Seasons 8 and 9.
Rating: 12 (mild sexual themes)
Word count: 620
Buffy and Willow have finally managed to make the time for a girls' night out, to catch up with all the conversations they missed out on during the Twilight debacle. One and a half bottles of wine later, they turn to discussing Buffy's brief relationship with Satsu. And then Willow has a confession to make...


"I was kinda hurt by it, you know. Just a little."

Buffy raised her eyebrow enquiringly.

"If you're gonna experiment sexually - which is totally fine, I'm not criticising - but when you did, couldn't you have remembered your own best friend who was right there all along?"

"Willow!" Buffy stared at her in shock. "I didn't think - you don't like me that way... Do you?"

"That's not the point. You could at least have asked."

"But I - I didn't like to assume..." Buffy trailed off, and she seemed to be struggling for words. Then in a curious tone she asked, "So, uh, if I had, would you have said yes?"

Willow turned pink, but managed to reply in an ultra-casual tone, "Well, now you'll never know."

Buffy's expression mingled shock, surprise, embarrasment, amusement, speculation and maybe just a hint of interest in equal measures. Willow thought it was a very complex expression; she tried very hard not to giggle at it. Instead she took refuge in explanation.

"Come on, Buff. Don't you think it's something I've thought about before?"

"You've thought about having sex with me?"

Now Buffy's shock seemed to be predominating, though it was still mixed with other, more complicated emotions. Willow's complexion turned from pink to red.

"No! No, I mean, uh, I've thought about experimenting with you..." The red became bright flaming crimson. "Uh, I g-guess that means I did think about it... okay yes. I have. B-but what I meant was, I always thought you might ask me about it, and I didn't know what I should say, and whether it would be a good idea or not and what would you think about..."

"Will! Willow, stop! Breathe!"

"Uh, sorry. Um. Are you mad at me?"

"Why? For thinking about the two of us... shouldn't I be flattered, not angry? You know, I think I should be flattered." 

Willow smiled hesitantly. "So you're not mad. I guess it's a natural thing for me to think about; I was just worried that you might..."

"Of course it's natural. I mean, I totally thought about asking you to try it with me - look out!"

Only Buffy's super-fast reflexes caught the wine bottle before it spilled all over the table. Willow righted her glass again - luckily she'd just emptied it - and said in a tiny voice, "You thought about it? When?"

"Oh, back in college. And since then a few times, maybe." Buffy shrugged. "It's no big deal; I was just curious." She chuckled. "Heh. Bi-curious. I guess that's why they call it that, huh?"

"So, umm... Buffy, you know I love you. Platonicly! So don't take this the wrong way, but - why the heck didn't you ever ask me?!"

"Well... Tara. And Kennedy. And complicated life stuff. But mostly I didn't want to spoil our friendship, and I didn't want to lead you on - I mean, you know I'm not gay as such, it wouldn't be fair to you."

Willow smiled at her tenderly, touched. "Don't worry, Buffy. I do know you. Heck, why do you think I was surprised when I first saw you and Satsu? I always pegged you at 100% hetero, not, uh, 97% or whatever."

"Maybe it's as low as 96%." Buffy grinned. Was she flirting? Was that a flirtatious grin? Willow took a deep breath, then impulsively splashed more wine into her glass and took a long gulp.

"So, uh... did Satsu satisfy all your curiosity?"

"Well, maybe not all of it." Oh Goddess, that was DEFINITELY a twinkle in Buffy's eye. 

Willow drained her glass, then hastily - before the rush of courage could leave her - made the offer.

Buffy said yes.


Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 02:52 (UTC)

Buffy assumed she was so drunk that she could have slept with any guy at that party (9.06), including those that she described as not showering or infrequently showering, so that's not such strong evidence of her wanting to sleep with Willow.

'Wanting' to sleep with Willow isn't what I'm saying; she'd not pining after her or anything. But that scene does prove one thing: if Buffy wakes up to see a just-showered Willow in her bedroom, her first thought is not an innocent explanation like "Oh, Willow must have crashed here after the party". Instead her mind goes straight to, "Oh my God, Willow and I must have had sex last night." The idea is clearly NOT 'something that would never cross her mind' - because it did.

It's only afterwards that Buffy starts to speculate on whether she might have slept with someone else instead, and to have nightmares that it could have been just about anybody since she doesn't remember.

There were no signs of Buffy thinking about it in seasons 4, 5, 6 or 7.

Well, what sort of signs would you expect to see? If it was something Buffy thought about, I imagine she'd do so very privately and not talk about it to anyone. :) Also, remember the concept of this fic of mine is that Buffy had speculated about experimentation earlier but decided, for various reasons, NOT to do anything about it - at least until she met Satsu.

I very much doubt that Buffy would speculate about experimenting sexually with her best friend, exactly because she's her best friend.

People vary. It could be that Buffy would be interested in experimentation with Willow exactly because she's her best friend, and so she trusts her and is completely at ease with her.

Like I said, it happens in real life. Trust me. ;)

I don't think Buffy is into "friendly sex"

In the early seasons, probably not - she had a highly romanticised teenager's view of love, sex and relationships back then. She's older now. Sleeping with Spike in S6 certainly wasn't 'friendly' sex, but Buffy never saw it as relationship sex either. Sleeping with Satsu absolutely was friendly sex from Buffy's perspective - in fact the reason she broke off their relationship was because Satsu couldn't see it that way.

I'd agree that Buffy isn't into casual sex as such - she'd want there to be an emotional bond with her partner - but post-S5 she's definitely willing to go to bed with people she's not "in love" with.

Posted by: TimeTravellingBunny (boot_the_grime)
Posted at: 13th June 2012 10:30 (UTC)

Well, what sort of signs would you expect to see? If it was something Buffy thought about, I imagine she'd do so very privately and not talk about it to anyone. :)

Heh, well in the same way we could speculate all sorts of things that people might be thinking - but there's no textual support for it. I'm not sure when exactly she would have been thinking about it, anyway - in S4 she was with Riley, post-Riley she was first thinking of dating Ben/finding another boyfriend then deciding she better be single, in season 6 she was preoccupied with Spike and other kind of sexual exploration for that to be credible, and in S7... She didn't seem to be in the mood to think all that much about relationships or sex.

I'd agree that Buffy isn't into casual sex as such - she'd want there to be an emotional bond with her partner - but post-S5 she's definitely willing to go to bed with people she's not "in love" with.

But it's not so clear if she'd be willing to go to bed with people who are definitely and without doubt not in love with her. Whether fans see it as selfish or not, uur Buffy seems to be drawn to people showing love and passion to her. What kickstarted her relationship with Satsu in the first place was the info that Satsu was the one who gave her the kiss of true love.

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