Well, there is one now. :-) I transcribed this directly from the AVI of the episode, so there may be a few errors that have crept in: if you spot any please let me know. I also assigned names to certain characters - Harmony, Jonathan and Darla - who were not identified in the pilot, but would appear in later episodes. Incidentally, it's quite interesting to see how some dialogue and scenes made it into 'Welcome to the Hellmouth' unchanged, and other parts were completely altered.
Usual copyright disclaimers apply.
ETA: I've posted a review of the episode here.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Written by Joss Whedon
Transcribed by Stormwreath
14/15 January 2008
EXT. BERRYMAN HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT
Establishing shot panning along the school's exterior. Note that in the pilot it's called 'Berryman' not 'Sunnydale' High School.
INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - NIGHT
A dark, empty classroom. Rows of desks, a human skeleton hanging from a stand, a side table with scientific equipment.
We PAN slowly towards the window when: CRASH! The window shatters. A hand comes in and fumbles for the latch, opens the window.
We see a teenage BOY and his girlfriend, who isn't actually named in the pilot; but she's played by Julie Benz and so we'll call her DARLA.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
It's a great idea.
He climbs through the window, helps Darla to get through.
So, you go to school here?
I used to.
Gets better. You alright?
He takes her hand and leads her out of the classroom.
INT - SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
The school auditorium has a stage which is being dressed for a play: odd doors and staircases leading nowhere. Darla wanders in, fascinated.
The boy walks over to a CONSOLE and hits a button. A TRAPDOOR opens in the stage floor just next to Darla's feet. She jumps back with a gasp.
Pretty cool, huh?
I could have fallen.
I would have caught you.
He kisses her. But she suddenly breaks the kiss, looks around in alarm.
Oh, what was that?
What was what?
I heard a noise.
Maybe it's something.
Maybe it's someTHING!
That's not funny.
There's nobody here.
Are you sure?
And with that she MORPHS INTO VAMPFACE and BITES down on his neck with a hungry growl.
END OF TEASER
EXT. BERRYMAN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
The start of a new school day. A huge crowd of students make their way to the entrance.
We focus on a pair of FEET walking up the steps from the street. Clad in a short red skirt and sneakers. REVERSE AND PAN UP to reveal BUFFY. She's currently blowing bubblegum. She seems a little lost; then pulls out a PIECE OF PAPER from her purse and consults it, then walks forward into the school more confidently.
INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Busy and bustling, just like the outside. Buffy walks down the corridor with PRINCIPAL FLUTIE.
I don't think you'll have any
problem adjusting, Bunny.
Just remember our personal rules.
No gang colours, no fur. No hanging
from the rafters in the cafeteria
screaming "Meat is murder!" on
Sloppy Joe day. That became very
popular last month, had to put my foot down.
(trying to interrupt)
I just want you to...
...to know that I'm not going to
cause trouble. There's not going to be
any incidents like at my old school.
Well, I certainly hope not.
No. I'm here to have fun.
But, I mean... learning.
Fun with learning.
Don't worry. I think you'll fit in just fine.
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
Kids hang out and wander up and down. WILLOW is sitting on a stone bench, by herself, reading a book and looking rather different to the way she will appear in later episodes. She turns round as XANDER calls her name, running over towards her. He's carrying a skateboard.
Willow! You're so very much
the person I wanted to see.
Yeah. You know, I kinda have
a problem with the math.
(not so pleased)
Can you help me out third period?
Please be my study buddy?
She finds it hard to resist his charm.
What's in it for me?
A shiny nickel...
Okay. But you shouldn't be having
a problem with it, Xander. Mr Worth
says you never pay attention.
She gets up to go.
I pay attention! Just not to him.
Willow walks off across the courtyard, where her path crosses that of CORDELIA, HARMONY and another CORDETTE.
Willow! Nice dress.
(Willow walks away quickly)
Good to know you've seen
the softer side of Sears.
The girls laugh at Willow's humiliation. As they do, a handsome GUY walks up to them.
Hey, Cordelia! Are you
going to the Bronze tonight?
Not with you.
She walks off, leaving him cold. Harmony follows her, confused.
But we're going, right?
Dingoes Ate My Baby. They rock.
A badly dressed student walks past them.
Grunge, wow! What a new look!
(To the other two)
I know flannel's so over but I
can never tell what's coming next!
Xander rushes over, trying to join in their conversation.
I don't know about you but I'm scared.
Excuse me, was I talking to you?
Has any girl ever spoken to you
of her own free will? I don't think so.
You know, I've often wondered why that is.
Got a mirror?
They walk off. Xander grins ruefully and gives them a mock salute.
Check back tomorrow, I'll have
that devastating comeback ready.
As he watches them leave, BUFFY runs up. She's looking in her PURSE and doesn't see him; she bumps straight into him, spilling the contents everywhere.
Whoa! sorry about that.
He helps her pick her things up
Oh, that's okay, I was totally phasing.
(They smile at each other)
I'm trying to find the library?
It's over there.
I don't know you, do I?
I'm Buffy. I'm new.
She leaves. Xander watches her go, smitten.
You're new and improved.
He notices she's missed something, picks it up and calls after her.
Oh, hey, you forgot your...
(looks at it)
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Buffy pushes open the door and walks in, looking around.
Is anybody here?
She looks over the counter... nothing.. and turns around. And bumps into GILES, who's silently appeared just behind her.
Oh! Anybody's here.
Can I help you?
Textbooks. I - I'm looking for textbooks.
Good call. Guess I'm the
only new kid, huh?
Giles rushes behind the counter.
So. I'm taking Eurocentric
history, and I'm gonna need...
I think I know what you're after.
He smiles, reaches down and places a huge, heavy, old and very dusty TOME on the counter. Its title reads 'Vampyr".
He and Buffy stare at each other for a long moment. He's eager to please. She's shocked and horrified.
That's not what I'm looking for.
She backs away.
Are you sure?
I'm way sure.
My mistake. Oh.
What is it you said...
But Buffy's out the door.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Class is in session. Buffy sits at a desk, looking worried and annoyed.
The BELL sounds and people get up to leave. WILLOW notices Buffy, goes up to her.
Mr Barnes said I should help you
get caught up, if you're having trouble...
Or I could... not...
Buffy smiles reassuringly.
No! That'd be great. History isn't
my best subject. I sort of lack a
best subject. I'm Buffy.
I know. I'm Willow.
Buffy shakes her hand.
Good to meet you.
EXT. SCHOOL COLONNADE - DAY
Buffy and Willow walk along, chatting.
That's a great outfit.
Thanks! I'm totally jamming
on your dress.
Oh, no. It's dorky. I'm aware
that it's dorky.
Not a jot. It's lush. Laura Ashley's
She's back, and this time it's personal.
You see, they mated her with the
Home Depot guy, and that's how we
got Martha Stewart.
Can I ask you - what's up with the
You met Mr Giles.
Yeah. Is he new?
He started a few weeks ago. He
used to be the curator of some British
museum. I don't know why he'd work
here, except that we do have some…
pretty important... collections.
She tails off as CORDELIA and HARMONY approach them.
Hi, I'm Cordelia. I just thought we'd
be a little welcoming committee,
help you get adjusted.
Explain who to hang with, and why.
Quite frankly, when I saw those
shoes I knew there was a beautiful
bond of sisterhood between us.
She and Harmony put their arms around Buffy, lead her away. Abandoned, Willow slinks off.
Really! I was very, very moved.
INT. WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM - DAY
Two GIRLS walk in, discussing the new girl.
The new kid? She seems kind of
weird to me. What kind of name is 'Buffy'?
Another GIRL walks past.
Well, the chatter in the caf is that
she got kicked out and that's why
she's starting in the middle of the semester.
They sit down next to their lockers.
Pos. She was starting fights!
They're opening their lockers.
Well, I heard from Blue, she
said that she saw the transcript...
And she SCREAMS as a BODY falls out of her locker onto her. It's the boy from the teaser. Stone dead.
EXT. COURTYARD - DAY
As Buffy walks along, Xander runs up behind her. He's still waving her STAKE.
I've been trying to work this out.
And all I can figure is that you're
building a really little fence.
Buffy takes the stake and pops it back in her bag.
Oh, this... er... no! Actually it was
for self-defence. My last school
was kind of interesting.
(During the next scene Xander will be pointing out various YOUTH SUBCULTURES in the form of Berryman High School students hanging out with their friends.)
Well, it's pretty mellow here. You'll be
playing[?] once you know your way around.
Ah, those guys? The Housers. They'd be
genuine hard-core gangstas except for
the upper-class white guy stigma.
Total wannabes, but they're okay.
Ah! The Panga Inbreeds. Dudes!
They look up at him.
Surf's always up somewhere
in the world.
Guess it's not that different
on my side of the hill.
Well, try your hand at it.
Okay, let's see. Um...mmm.
That would have to be the theatre club.
Oh, well spotted. What gave it away?
They're always way gesture-y.
What is the homework?
I didn't GET the homework!
Ah... film club.
They spend their time deciding that
every movie is an Existential meditation
on Freudian sexuality.
Even 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'?
Especially 'The Muppets Take Manhattan'.
Ah... the Dirty Girls.
Why do you call them...
They have 'views' on hygiene.
It's... pretty intense.
So which group are you affiliated with?
Well, I've applied to a few, but
doesn't look good. I haven't heard
back from the Dirty Girls.
Xander sees WILLOW walking towards them.
Willow! You've met Buffy, right? She
might be going to the Bronze tonight.
Willow, what's wrong?
You didn't hear?
In the women's locker room.
They found someone.
I mean... someone...
CORDELIA and her CORDETTES have arrived on the scene, and Cordy barges straight into the conversation..
So not just a little dead then?
Don't you have an elsewhere to be?
Are you guys sure?
I heard it from Ms Ramsey.
He was in a locker.
I heard he used to go here.
And that it was a gang thing.
You think he was killed by someone?
No, I'm sure it was natural causes.
He crawled up in the locker and died of old age.
Um, I gotta bug. See you guys later, okay?
She runs off.
INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY
Principal FLUTIE is just coming out of the women's locker room when Buffy approaches him. He's pretty shaken.
(Buffy shakes her head)
Barbie? er, Betty? Wilma?
I am SO sorry about this. I know
it's your first day. I just want to
say, we very seldom... We almost
never have dead kids stuffed in
a locker. I've a very strict policy
So it's true?
I know it's hard. Certainly not the
welcome I would have planned for you.
I know you're upset, confused... You've
probably go that thing like when
you burp and you've got that vomity
taste in your mouth.
Buffy looks at him dubiously.
I just want you to know that
we're all here for you. If there's
anything that you need...
Can I look at the body?
INT. WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM - DAY
Buffy walks in, kneels down by the BODY and pulls off the SHEET covering his face. There are two small PUNCTURE MARKS on his neck. Buffy looks less than impressed at this revelation.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Buffy walks in purposefully, sees GILES up on the balcony, and calls up to him.
Okay, what's the sitch?
She's impatient and angry.
What's the sitch here?
You heard about the dead guy,
right? The dead guy in the locker?
'Cause it's the weirdest thing.
He's got two little, little holes in his
neck and all his blood's been
drained. Isn't that bizarre?
Aren't you just going 'oooh'?
As she speaks she's walking up the stairs to the balcony.
I see. Is he... will he rise again?
No. He wasn't changed. Just dead.
Oh dear. I was afraid of this.
Well, I wasn't. It's my first day. I was
afraid that I was to be behind on my
classes, that I wouldn't make any friends,
that I would have last month's hair. I
didn't think there'd be vampires on
campus - and I don't care.
Then why are you here?
That takes her aback.
To... tell you that I don't care.
Which I don't. And have now
told you. So... bye!
You cannot escape your destiny.
And with that she SOMERSAULTS over the rail of the balcony and DROPS twenty feet to a perfect landing on the ground.
Do you think it's coincidence,
your being here? It was fated.
Why can't you people just leave me alone?
Because you are the Slayer.
He WALKS down the stairs from the balcony. He's not the Slayer, so he doesn't get to do the fancy acrobatics.
Into every generation a Slayer is
born. One girl in all the world.
A Chosen One.
Wow, you're gonna do the
speech and everything.
One born with the strength and skills...
Buffy starts speaking over him.
BUFFY / GILES
...To hunt the vampires...
Giles falls silent.
...to stop the spread of their evil,
blah blah blah. I've heard it, okay?
I don't understand this attitude.
You've accepted your duty, you've
slain vampires before.
Well, I've both been there and
done that. And I'm moving on.
Growing as a person. Watch it happen.
You have no idea what's
going on, do you?
Big deal. You kill them.
You think vampires are the
only threat we face here?
What do you mean?
There are more things in heaven
and earth than are dreamt of in
He picks up BOOKS one by one, piles them in Buffy's arms. She grimaces.
Werewolves. Zombies. Ghouls. Incubi.
Succubi. Everything you've ever dreaded
under your bed but told yourself
couldn't be by the light of day. They're all real.
What, you, like, sent away
for the Time-Life series?
D'you get the free phone?
Cool. Zombies, huh?
She struggles with the pile of books, then gives them back to Giles.
Okay, first of all I'm a VAMPIRE
Slayer. And secondly, I'm retired.
As they speak we PAN over to find XANDER standing behind the stacks, where he was in search of books. He can't quite believe what he's hearing.
But your work is not finished.
My work? I'm sixteen! I don't
have work. I have homework.
BACK ON Buffy and Giles.
And you haven't been properly trained.
Which is why you're here.
Yes. I - I'm a Watcher. A Watcher serves
by finding the Slayer, leading her
on her path. It is my destiny to guide you.
Yeah, well, the last guy they sent to
'guide' me... you see what happened to him.
Yes, I know all about it.
You don't know anything about it. You
don't know what it's like. I was happy. I
was Cindy Lou Who just coasting through
my life when vampires - which are only
supposed to be in cheesy movies – start
killing people. People I know.
And I find out I'm the Slayer, the only one
in the world, and I gotta stop them.
And I DO. I train. I hunt. It becomes my whole life.
Giles sits down and starts cleaning his glasses as he listens to Buffy's rant.
I can do things no other kid can do,
and actually that's fairly lush, I'm kinda
into that. So I kill the vampires. Yay me.
And when it's all over, what's left?
My grades are the suck. My social life
has achieved leper stage. And I get
thrown out of school for causing trouble.
Not exactly a medal and a book deal,
if you know what I mean.
Yes, I do.
I just wanna be like everyone
else. Like anybody else.
But you're not, are you?
Well, I mean to be.
She stomps out of the library.
ON XANDER, still freaked.
EXT. THE BRONZE - NIGHT
A crowd of young people make their way towards Sunnydale's premier teen hangout. We hear rock music from inside, and posters advertise a gig by Dingoes Ate My Baby.
BUFFY, in a fancy jacket, approaches the entrance and joins the queue for admission. A short, dorky guy in front of her in the line turns to talk to her. This is JONATHAN.
Are you the new girl?
And that's all they can think of to say to each other; they fall into an awkward silence. Fortunately, at that point XANDER rushes over and pushes into the line next to Buffy.
Hey! I'm in line with you here, right?
I'm psyched you came.
Is the band good?
Well, they don't know any actual chords yet
but they have really big amps. But it's
always a good time, you know.
Yeah. It seems normal.
A normal thing to do.
Well, I mean everyone
comes here, right?
So, you didn't do normal things
at your old school?
Oh, sure. Only. Exclusively. You know,
everyday stuff. Homework, student council,
You were on the football team?
No! I ch-
So, is Willow coming tonight?
Oh, I saw her sneaking on
campus with some guy.
Willow has a boyfriend?
She does tonight. I
didn't know the guy.
Something about this scenario just doesn't seem right to Buffy.
So, you didn't have any
What was he like?
Oh, erm, kind of...
What was he wearing?
Erm... er... a jacket.
No. What was it like? I mean,
was it outdated at all, some old style?
You're really caring about this outfit!
Um... yeah. But it was pretty striking.
You know, sleeves rolled up, collar,
very Lionel Ritchie. I mean, who's
still sporting that look?
And without another word Buffy RUNS OFF AT FULL SPEED.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
CLICK! The STAGE LIGHTS come on, to reveal WILLOW. She's grinning, enjoying herself.
This is nice. I - I don't
usually do this sort of thing.
Her companion is the guy in the jacket that Xander just described. He's blond, so we'll call him BLOND GUY. He smiles, walks towards her.
I don't usually get asked.
But I'm having a good time, though.
Where did you say you went to school?
Blond guy sits down next to her.
He puts his arm round her.
So. Time for some kissing, huh?
Instead she gets up.
Oh, we probably shouldn't even
be here. Especially after what
happened with that poor boy.
He had it coming.
What do you mean?
Coming up here alone, at night.
With a complete stranger. What
kind of an idiot would do a thing like that?
Willow looks kind of taken aback at that. Well, wouldn't you be?
BLOND GUY (cont'd)
What's the matter?
REVEAL that he's now in VAMPFACE. Uh-oh.
Don't you wanna snuggle?
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT
Buffy comes running around the corner. Xander, out of breath, is right behind her.
Hey! Wait up!
Where would they be?
Buffy, uh, what's the sitch?
She passes him her PURSE.
You might need this.
This wouldn't by any chance
be a vampire issue, would it?
Just at that moment WILLOW SCREAMS (O.C.)
The auditorium! I'll try round back.
Buffy's already gone. Xander heads off in the other direction.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - NIGHT
The BLOND VAMPIRE is BITING at Willow's neck and making hungry growls. They're stood in the middle of the stage. Buffy throws open the auditorium doors and strides in.
All right. Get your hands off of her.
Buffy walks forward through the audience seating towards the stage.
So what is it with vampires and clothes?
You always think the march of fashion
stopped dead the day you did. It really
is such a giveaway.
The vampire tries to bite Willow again, but Buffy SPRINTS towards him, and he throws her to one side.
Buffy DROP-KICKS him, knocking him down. She stands over him.
You know, you really shouldn't be here.
A vampire, all alone at night. It just isn't safe.
You've got me wrong.
Oh, my bad. You're not a vampire?
I'm not alone.
Buffy looks around apprehensively as several more VAMPIRES emerge from the shadows.
Oops. I don't suppose you'd be
sweeties and attack me one at a time?
You watch too many movies.
You can NEVER watch too many movies.
And the FIGHT is on. Buffy gets in some good kicks, and WILLOW creeps out of the way while the vamps are distracted. But then one of them picks Buffy up and THROWS her across the room. She hits a table, which collapses under her.
Oh. Ow. That was my favourite spine.
And Xander comes running in, looking around for Buffy.
Get Willow out of here.
She's hardly bit, she'll be all right.
Xander sees a BROOM in a rack on the wall. He grabs it and throws it to Buffy.
Buffy puts the improvised weapon to good use, knocking down one of the vamps that's running at her.
Xander rushes over to Willow and helps her up.
Can you walk?
Oh. Mom was right
about boys. Ow.
They stumble out of the room.
INT. BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
I'll go get help.
Xander, do you usually
carry a purse?
Before she can work it out, though, she's GRABBED by another vampire: it's DARLA. But Darla looks at Willow's already bitten neck and tosses her aside contemptuously.
God, I hate leftovers.
INT. AUDITORIUM - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT
Buffy knocks one vampire down with her broom, but another runs up behind her. But he gasps in pain as he connects with the other end of the broom, collapses to the ground and TURNS TO DUST.
See what happens when
INT. BACKSTAGE - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT
Darla turns and growls as she notices Xander. He backs away through the backstage PROPS and SCENERY FLATS.
I don't like to hit girls...
that I'm afraid of.
She lunges for him; he dodges, but she grabs him again and GOES FOR HIS THROAT.
Lying on the floor where Darla threw her. She notices Buffy's purse next to her; it's come open and there is a CROSS there. She picks it up and goes over to where Darla and Xander are struggling.
She thrusts the cross in Darla's face. The vampire SCREAMS and a huge cloud of SMOKE rises up from her face.
ON WILLOW as she grimly holds the cross in place. Xander stands up and watches over her shoulder.
INT. AUDITORIUM - SIMULTANEOUS - NIGHT
Buffy is in a running fight with the two remaining vampires. She dashes up the stairs built on the stage, throws one vampire back down them, and kicks the other over the edge of the balcony into a pile of boxes.
She takes a moment to recover her breath as the vampire she's just knocked down stares up at her. (He's the original one, the blond guy).
Who are you?
She stands up, defiant and cocky.
I'm the Slayer.
The other vampire reacts to that.
And he makes a run for it.
(out the door)
I'll call you!
Better face facts. You've run out of
time. You've run out of friends.
And nobody likes your outfit.
He's not intimidated, but starts looking for a way up to the balcony. But then Xander and Willow rush in. Willow is holding the CROSS in front of her; Xander is hiding behind Willow.
Freeze! I know how
to use this! I think...
They look around... there's no sign of the vampire anymore. But they do spot Buffy up on the balcony.
Be careful, you guys. There's--
But with a CRASH the vampire bursts through the SCENERY and grapples her. They go over the edge of the balcony together, and then through the open stage trapdoor.
Xander cautiously approaches the edge of the trapdoor - but suddenly the VAMPIRE bursts up through it and GRABS HIS WRIST.
Your friend can't help you now!
But he loses his grip as something from below starts PULLING HIM back down into the trapdoor.
BLOND VAMPIRE (cont'd)
Hold that thought.
SFX: sounds of fighting from below: things being knocked over, a drum kit being hit, growls.
Willow and Xander look at each other.
BUFFY climbs up from the trapdoor back onto the stage. Xander gives her a hand. They go and sit down next to Willow, who's nursing her injured neck.
I'm really sorry about all this.
That's okay. It's kind of a destiny thing.
So. What does a Vampire
Slayer do, exactly?
Buffy just smiles and shakes her head.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
It's the next day; bright and sunny as always. A student from the Film Club is putting up a POSTER for their next showing: NOSFERATU.
CORDELIA, HARMONY and another CORDETTE walk through the courtyard, and notice BUFFY, WILLOW and XANDER hanging out and talking to GILES. Who, incidentally, is smartly dressed in a heavy jacket and tie despite the hot California sunshine. Buffy is playing absently with a STAKE.
Hey, look at them.
Well, it seems Buffy's
found her own level.
I can't believe we were
almost nice to her.
They walk off.
I, I'm not saying you didn't do
well. Wait - now I am. You
didn't do well. You, you
stunk up the place.
What, are you kidding? She
was huge, she had the
moves, the Crane Technique…
He strikes a martial arts pose, which Buffy finds highly amusing.
And she saved my life. Which I'm for.
If she'd been a minute later
you'd be dead. Or worse.
And you revealed yourself. And
you, you, you let one of them get away...
You know, are you sure you're
wearing enough? 'Cause we might
get a cloud today.
Giles takes off his glasses.
I cannot believe that the fate of
the world may well be in the
hands of this... teen thing.
Relax. The world's in beauty hands.
(she grins at him)
And she takes aim with her STAKE, THROWS it – and hits right in the heart of the picture of NOSFERATU on the film poster.
FADE TO BLACK
END OF SHOW