(Meta) Buffy - The Origin (Part 3)
Part three of this post, since it exceeded LJ's post length limit. Previous part is here.
ACT THREE
INT: SCHOOL GYM - DAY
A crowd of STUDENTS are getting the place ready for the school dance. Jennifer and Kimberly are hanging a BANNER.
KIMBERLY
Maybe she was a commando in a previous life, and she hasn't quite been able to move on, y'know?
JENNIFER
Yeah, and maybe she's just a bi-polar, paranoid, manic-depressive psycho looney whose only recourse now is Prozac or a bullet to the head.
KIMBERLY
Yeah, well, that could be it, too.
JENNIFER
I don’t know what her basic trauma is, but she is in urgent need of a reality house call.
BUFFY
Hi, guys.
JENNIFER
Oh, hey, Buffy.
KIMBERLY
You were supposed to be here at three.
BUFFY
I forgot.
KIMBERLY
Buffy, what is your sitch? You're acting like the thing from another tax-bracket. It's too weird.
BUFFY
Look, a lot's been going on. I just… I need to tell you guys. See, a while ago, I met this guy…
KIMBERLY
Oh my God, you're having an affair?
JENNIFER
Does Jeffrey know?
BUFFY
It's not like that. This is an old guy. Like fifty.
JENNIFER
Eeeuwww!
BUFFY
No, no! Just listen! Haven't you guys noticed how weird things have gotten around here? People disappearing, turning up dead…
JENNIFER
What are you talking about?
KIMBERLY
Buffy, you're so out of it. You've blown off cheerleading. You've blown off the Dance Committee…
BUFFY
Guys, it's a DANCE. It's a stupid dance with stupid kids that I see every stupid day.
JENNIFER
So we're stupid now.
KIMBERLY
Y'know, just because you're having a full-on wiggins doesn't mean you have to drag us into it. Personally, I think you ought to spend a little time prioritising, I really do.
BUFFY
Listen to you. What language are you speaking?
KIMBERLY
Get out of my facial!
BUFFY
Guys…
CUT TO:
EXT: SHOPPING MALL - DAYBuffy has sought out comfort the only way she knows how – going shopping. She's carrying about three bags when Pike runs up behind her shouting her name.
PIKE
Buffy, hey! I called your house and your mom said you were here… I'm glad I caught you. I've been working on some stuff for you.
(beat)
What are you doing here, anyway?
BUFFY
I'm doing what normal teenage girls do in the mall, Pike.
PIKE
Loitering and gossiping?
BUFFY
Shopping for a dress for the dance.
PIKE
What? I don't believe this. The world's under attack by the legions of the undead, and you're going to a mixer?
BUFFY
It's not a mixer, it's a dance. And it's important. You wouldn't understand.
PIKE
You got that right. I thought you wanted to kill vampires.
BUFFY
I don't want to kill anybody. And I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
PIKE
Listen, I know it sucks what happened to Merrick. But, Buffy, you're the guy. You're the Chosen Guy.
BUFFY
Right. I'm the Chosen One. And I CHOOSE to go shopping.
PIKE
Ah, I should have known. Benny was right. You guys are all exactly the same— y'know that, Buffy?
CUT TO:
INT: LOTHOS'S LAIRLothos sits on a huge carven THRONE. Before him kneels Benny.
LOTHOS
Buffy? Her name is Buffy?
BENNY
I recognised her last night. I know her from school.
LOTHOS
And you know where she lives?
BENNY
No, my lord. But I know what she's doing on Saturday night.
LOTHOS
It's good to be dead, Benny. Good to be dead.
CUT TO:
INT: SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTThe school dance is just getting underway. Buffy wears a sexy blue silk dress with a small handbag over her shoulder, and is looking around in an uncertain way.
>> The handbag may look small, but we later learn it contains a full bottle of Perrier, an aerosol can, a large cross and at least half a dozen stakes. Maybe it's a time-and-relative-dimensions-in-space handbag?
ANDY
Buffy! Looking tasty!
BUFFY
Thanks, Andy. Have you seen Jeffrey?
BUFFY
Hey, Kim!
KIMBERLY
Hey.
BUFFY
So, uh, have you seen Jeffrey? The limo never showed. I thought he might be here.
KIMBERLY
I, uh, haven't seen him.
BUFFY
Oh, well, anyway, you look way pretty, Kim.
KIMBERLY
I know. I like your little, uh, starched parachute number.
BUFFY
I guess you guys are still mad at me. I'm sorry. Look, I've been really— Jeffrey!
BUFFY (CONT'D)
Jeffrey! There you are. I—
JEFFREY
Buffy! What are you doing here?
BUFFY
I thought we were meeting here. I don't understand.
JEFFREY
Come on, Buffy, you know what's going on. I'm here with Jennifer. It's not working out at all. I've got to move on. I mean, I've got needs too.
He heads off into the crowd with Jennifer.
JEFFREY (CONT'D)
You can get all the details from the message I left on your machine. I'm outta here.
BUFFY
You broke up with my answering machine?
>> She's actually crying in one of the panels, but not the others. Maybe it was a single tear.
PIKE
Hey, look. I crashed your little party.
BUFFY
Pretty shallow of you. But I'm glad you came.
PIKE
That's me. Vacuous, soulless and hipper-than-thou. You look great, by the way.
PIKE (CONT'D)
So - glad I came - does this mean I won't get the crap kicked out of me if I ask you to dance?
PIKE (CONT'D)
You're not like other girls, Buffy.
BUFFY
Yes, I am.
And they're maybe about to kiss when – Kressshh! The window shatters as a huge VAMPIRE reaches in his claws. Instant panic. There are vampires outside all the windows.
GIRL
They've blocked the doors! Dozens of them! We're trapped!
BOY
Oh God! Help me! They're out there! Vampires!
VAMPIRE
It's party time, meat puppets.
>> Her first time ever as a leader in a crisis situation. Isn't it cute?
BUFFY
Everybody move back from the doors and windows! They can't come in unless they're invited!
KIMBERLY
Uh, I already invited them.
KIMBERLY (CONT'D)
Come on! What was I supposed to do? They're seniors!
BUFFY
The first thing we need to—
VAMPIRE 1
(shouting from outside)
Hey, Buffy… wanna dance?
PIKE
Whoops. You're busted.
VAMPIRE 2
We want Buffy. Send her out.
VAMPIRE 1
Or we come in.
Gary the Guidance Counselor (and party guy) tries to sort things out. It isn't happening.
GARY
All right, everybody stay calm. What's going on, Summers?
PIKE
Looks bad, Buffy.
VAMPIRE
(from outside)
Send her out!
KIMBERLY
They'll kill us all! You're the one they're mad at.
BUFFY
What?
BOY
Yeah, send her out!
GARY
I've got detention slips here… I'm not afraid to use them!
ANDY
Are you kidding? They'll waste her!
KIMBERLY
They'll kill US!
PIKE
Look, there's got to be another way out… a back way, or something.
BUFFY
(determined)
You may be right, Pike. You stay here and look… I'm going out the front.
PIKE
Are you nuts? There's dozens of them out there. They'll rip you apart!
BUFFY
Get everyone out, Pike. The doors are locked, but find a way into the main school if you can.
PILE
Buffy, you can't—
BUFFY
Don't tick me off.
>> She's wearing her blue dress here. In the movie, she was wearing a long cream-coloured prom dress, and Pike lent her his black leather jacket to wear over it – something that would become an iconic Buffy look when she repeated it in 'Prophecy Girl'.
CUT TO:
EXT: OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTBuffy is surrounded by six vampires.
BUFFY
You all look so thirsty…
VAMPIRE
Oh, we are.
BUFFY
No problem. Drinks for everyone.
She splashes the holy mineral water liberally around. It MELTS AND BURNS the vampires' flesh.
VAMPIRE 1
Eieeee!
VAMPIRE 2
Yeirgh! It burns!
>> She's actually a better fighter in these scenes than on most of the TV show, especially in the early seasons. In Season 1 six vampires at once would have been deadly dangerous for her.
CUT TO:
INT: SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTKimberly is peering out through the window, watching the fight.
KIMBERLY
It's okay! I think they're going after her!
Then the window shatters and two VAMPIRES leap through.
KIMBERLY
(small)
We can all… escape… now…
PIKE
I bet you feel stupid.
PIKE (CONT'D)
The heart! Stab him in the heart!
GARY
Let's get away from the windows. Find something to cover them with.
GIRL IN PURPLE DRESS
There's nails and stuff we used to put up the decorations… behind the bleachers.
PIKE
Huh. The lady said to look… couldn't hurt…
GARY
That's it, son, you're facing expulsion…
VAMPIRE
Ow. Stop. You're killing me.
PIKE
Oh, yes. Yes yes yes yes… Hey, Andy!
>> Good for him! He's doomed.
ANDY
Yeah?
PIKE
Get everyone together… I think it's time to go.
BENNY
Pike, where are you, man? I was gonna change you, man. I was gonna give you life!
GARY
Come on, people, single file… this isn't a drill…
PIKE
Move it, move it, vampires comin'!
BENNY
Isn't this great, Pike? We finally got those bitches on the run!
BENNY (CONT'D)
I'm angry with you, man! I leave you alone for five minutes and look who you're hanging out with!
BENNY (CONT'D)
I don't want a girl with good taste. I want a girl who tastes good!
CUT TO:
INT: CELLARS - NIGHTKimberly and Gary and various students are hurrying down a passageway.
KIMBERLY
Where does this janitor tunnel thing lead?
GARY
I believe it goes under the quad and comes out into the cafeteria. Single file… that's it… tra la la.
CUT TO:
INT: SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTPike grabs Benny by the hair, forcing him to let go of the girl he's just grabbed himself.
BENNY
Oww! You're screwing up, man. Just think. Never die. Never get kicked around or busted. Never say you're sorry. But you? You blow it all for some bimbo!
>> Aw. A vampire who still cares about his friends. *Cough* Compare Xander and Jesse in 'The Harvest'.
BENNY (CONT'D)
What about my needs, Pike?
PIKE
I know, buddy. I know.
PIKE (CONT'D)
Rest easy, bro.
BENNY
Man, that's deep…
PIKE
Hurts, too.
ANDY
Can we go now?
AMILYN
I don't think you're going anywhere.
PIKE
Heya, Lefty! Long time no see.
ANDY
Man, I hope Buffy's all right out there.
PRE-LAP:
EXT: OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTPIKE (V.O.)
Trust me, dude. Buffy can take care of herself.
BUFFY
There! Get the point?
She runs off, towards where a car is parked in the shadows.
BUFFY (CONT'D)
Here vampy vampy vampy!I know there are more of… ah. Hiding, eh? Well, you should hide, you evil sons of…
>> When they get out of the car later on, we see Jeffrey is just wearing his underpants, which seems an odd place to stop at… I'm also assuming that Buffy never went anywhere near as far as this with him while they were together, given the whole Angel in Season 2 thing.
JENNIFER
Ooh, make me a woman, Jeffrey… oh Jeffrey, I love you.
BUFFY
Why is there never a vampire around when you need one?
JENNIFER
Ooh, Jeffrey, make me a woman…you're so athletical…
BUFFY
Ah, there you are. You always know just when a girl needs some attention.
>> Violence as Slayer comfort food.
BUFFY (CONT'D)
C'mere, Curly.
JEFFREY
Aaaah!
JENNIFER
Aiieee!
BUFFY
Don't mind me, kids. Go about your business. Make her a woman, Jeffrey.
LOTHOS
I knew you'd come.
BUFFY
Who…?
LOTHOS
You knew it too, didn't you? You've been dreaming of me. Waiting to feed me.
CUT TO:
INT: SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTPike and Andy are locked in battle with the vampires.
ANDY
Pike! I could use a hand here!
PIKE
Coming!
AMILYN
I don't think so, meat! You've got a lot to answer for!
PIKE
Not to you, you ugly, one-armed…
AMILYN
Enough about the arm!
CUT TO:
EXT: OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTBuffy is held in thrall by the mesmerising stare and voice of Lothos.
>> It might just be that she's paralysed with fear, but Lothos's comments about "none have resisted before" imply that it is actual The Master/Drusilla/Dracula style thrall he's using.
LOTHOS
Don't you understand? I've killed dozens of Slayers. Your life is not a blink of my eye, not a single breath. I have lived in the shadows, in the pulsing filth behind men's eyes.
LOTHOS (CONT'D)
I have conversed with the worms that fed on my corpse and I have bathed in the blood of emperors.
BUFFY
Ever throw up in the front row at an Alanis concert?
LOTHOS
What? This is… none have ever resisted before!
BUFFY
Yeah, well… maybe I didn't want to believe it, but, like a friend of mine told me tonight… I'm not like other girls.
LOTHOS
This? This is your only weapon? Your puny faith?
BUFFY
No. My attention to personal grooming.
LOTHOS
Noooo!
BUFFY
For Merrick. And for me.
>> She uses the hairspray trick in the movie, but it's not fatal as it is here; they have another big fight in the middle of the gym there. And so Lothos, the 900 year old vampire who's killed over 20 Slayers, finally perishes at the hands of a cheerleader with a can of hairspray and a witty comment.
CUT TO:
INT: SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTThe fight isn't going well. Andy goes down, a vampire sucking at his neck. Amylin has Pike pinned against the wall.
ANDY
Pike! Pike! Aaarghh!
PIKE
…Andy… sorry, man…
BUFFY
This is the suckiest dance I have ever been to!
>> Thankfully, in the comic he doesn't take ten minutes to die.
BUFFY (CONT'D)
Sorry. I've just got this aversion to vampires. My therapist is helping me deal.
PIKE
Okay. It felt like this was over.
BUFFY
Or maybe not. It is over. They just don't know it yet.
She hurls Amilyn's blazing corpse into the middle of the crowd of vampires. They scream in pain as more of them catch fire. Buffy and Pike make a run for it.
>> Although speaking of Amilyn taking a long time to die, notice he doesn't immediately dust once set on fire.
CUT TO:
EXT: OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GYM - NIGHTBuffy is busy chaining the doors to the gym closed.
PIKE
I don't know, Buffy. It's just a bike chain, do you think it'll hold them?
BUFFY
It'll hold. It has to.
>> Yes, in the comic adaptation Buffy really does burn down the school gymnasium because it's full of vampires.
CUT TO:
EXT: OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL GYM – LATER - NIGHTFire and ambulance crews attend the scene of the tragedy. We hear a TV PRESENTER describing the scene.
TV PRESENTER
The death toll now reaches twelve and a half in the tragedy at Hemery High School. A senior dance was being held here in the gym five days ago, when students were attacked by a roving gang of crack-crazed gunmen.
Survivors say at least one hundred of the ruffians laid the high school under a kind of siege, claiming several lives in the process.
Said one school administrator, "Things will never be the same".
END OF ACT
EPILOGUE
>> The movie ended with Buffy and Pike roaring off into the sunset on his motorbike. I'm not sure if this epilogue was in the original script.EXT: OUTDOOR SWIMMING POOL – DAY
Kimberly, Jennifer, Jeffrey and another GIRL are swimming or relaxing by the pool.
GIRL
She was even crazier after that. I mean it. You wouldn't even have recognised her.
KIMBERLY
Buffy?
GIRL
Yeah. She didn't talk to anyone in school. Then, of course, she got expelled. The worst is, her parents, and this is true, I swear—
JENNIFER
They divorced?
GIRL
Well, yeah, but, no, no! Listen— her parents were gonna send her to the Bahamas for a while, and she REFUSED. True story.
KIMBERLY
She said she didn't want to go. It is to vomit.
JEFFREY
Well, where is she now?
PRELAP:
EXT: CASTLE GATE – NIGHTIt looks like a big, spooky old castle. Buffy is stood outside dressed in shorts, jacket and baseball cap and carrying a backpack. Her previous stylish outfits are gone.
KIMBERLY (V.O.)
Last I heard? Juvie. And her mom told somebody they were gonna move.
GIRL (V.O.)
Uh-uh. I heard she moved, like to Ethiopia, or some other South American country…
KIMBERLY (V.O.)
Oh, right… I think I heard that too…
PIKE
I didn't say it was a bad idea. I just said the timing was off. We could maybe wait 'til later.
BUFFY
Don't be such a 'fraidy-cat.
PIKE
Who's afraid? Besides me, I mean…
BUFFY
We've come all this way, we might as well check it out.
BUFFY (CONT'D)
What's the worst that can happen? We don’t find any vampires, so instead we have fun? What a disappointment that would be.
BUFFY (CONT'D)
So why wait?
PIKE
I just meant, you know, 'til we're old enough to gamble…
EPILOGUE TO THE EPILOGUE
>> Peter Jackson learned everything he knows from these guys…INT: SUNNYDALE HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY – A YEAR LATER - DAY
Buffy sits at the table eating her lunch with WILLOW and XANDER. GILES reads a book in the background.
BUFFY
So, now you know my sordid past. It is so ancient history.
WILLOW
It was only a year ago.
XANDER
Vegas, huh? Did you know prostitution is legal in Nevada? Can you imagine?
WILLOW
So, did you find any vampires there?
BUFFY
I think that's a story for another lunch hour.
XANDER
So, Buff, you didn't tell us, what happened to the fish guy?
BUFFY
Pike?
WILLOW
Yeah, you guys were hot with the smoochies. Where is he now?
BUFFY
I haven't heard from him in a long time, but, well…
XANDER
Buffy, spill it. Willow's gonna need all the dirt for that movie of the week in her head…
>> You want to know the real reason Buffy and Pike split up? Because both 'Bike' and 'Puffy' are horrible choices for shipping names...
WILLOW
Yeah, he sounds neat. Like he was a good match for you, y'know?
BUFFY
Pike… maybe some other time, guys.
FADE TO BLACK
END OF SHOW
This was interesting to read, given your notes, cause it was a lot of the same thoughts I had when I first read it. And I think the problems joss had with it, were primerally with the art too, since we know he's not really a continuity buff. Haha, Buff buff... anyone? Ahem.
Anyways.
But primerally it's pretty sad no refenrece to this was ever made in the show though I still hope that this somehow ties in with Season 8. Cause seeing Pike again would be cool.
I should mention though, in case you're not familiar with it, the last part with the scoobies and the Vegas trip is all foreshadowing to Viva Las Buffy (Pre show story set in Dawn memories land.), Slayer Interrupted (Normal Again background, including Dawn, which explains Buffy having been to the mental instution being Dawn's fault..which would explain why it was never mentioned before.) and Stake Through the Heart (BEST and LAST arc of the Buffy monthly. And sets everything up for Welcome to the Hellmouth. But with Dawn included.)
A lot of it is set up for those stories, because the Buffy monthly tried to tie in everything they could with the last runs they did. Particularly with those last arcs that dealt with backstories rather than the others that tried to tie in with whatever season was on.
If you ever decide to do one of these again, or at least a short review, I urge you to make it about those three mention arcs, cause they're really a beautiful read and they just are riddled with foreshawoding for future plots and interested to see the world of the past with Dawn in them.