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(Fic) One Day In The Life Of Buffy Summers (Ch.3 of 10)

23rd November 2008 (15:56)
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Buffy's having a really strange day.

Chapter three, in which there's some plot advancement and so forth, so the rating is only PG this time. 859 words. Characters, in order of appearance: Buffy and Willow. Chapter One is here.


Ch. 3: In which Buffy has breakfast

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, she peered cautiously around the door, half-scared that Willow would be standing there with a big grin chanting "I know what you're do-ing!" But luckily, there was no sign of her. Buffy scampered quickly into her bedroom, slammed the door and dropped the towel she'd wrapped around herself.

She felt her chin; definitely stubbly, but she thought she could get away with it a while longer. She'd better get dressed and see how the research was progressing.

Her underwear drawer was open and she was already putting her arms through the straps of her bra before she realised the pointlessness of that garment. She dropped it back and gazed dubiously at her knickers. She liked them small and sexy, filmy little wisps of material, and she realised with a sinking heart that not one of her pairs would fit her now. Could she borrow some? Buy some? Well, for the moment she'd have to go commando...  which, she thought, was a stupid expression. She'd shared a bed with Riley for a year and he'd never dream of not putting his underwear on every morning. She'd even asked him once if there was some special rule about not wearing underpants in the Marines, and he'd assured her there wasn't. Anyway, if she didn't wear any, it meant running the risk of the same situation that had happened in Willow's room. Oh God, this was more complicated than she'd thought.

And worse was to come. She opened her closet, pulled on a pair of jeans... and peeled them straight back off as she could barely get her legs through them. Skirts were out of the question. In the end she pulled on a raggedy old pair of sweatpants she used to train in. The legs seemed to stop halfway up her calves, but at least they covered her. A top was less of a problem; she had several comfy men's shirts. They were less comfy now she actually was a man; just normal fit. Still, at least she was decent.

But none of her shoes fitted anymore. Buffy almost screamed in frustration as this new obstacle presented itself. Barefoot, she stomped downstairs and into the kitchen. Willow was already there, a steaming mug of coffee next to her elbow as she studied the screen of her laptop. She smiled cautiously at Buffy, hesistant of her friend's mood.

"Everything all right?"

"What? Oh, no, it's nothing, don't worry. I'm just fed up with all this, and I want it over with."

"W-we will, soon. I've already looked up several gender-changing spells, and we just have to work out which is the right one and then - presto!"

"I'm a girl again?"

"Back to Buffy with beautiful boobies." Willow giggled, then blushed. "Uh, I didn't mean it like that, I just went with the alliteration..."

"Uh-huh." Buffy looked at her repressively, but felt a grin lift the corner of her mouth. "Get them back for me and you can perv over them all you like as far as I'm concerned. " Then, as a hasty afterthought, "Tastefully and discreetly and from a safe distance, of course."

"Don't I always? Uh, don't answer that. Aaaand changing the subject rapidly, there's fresh coffee in the pot. I didn't know if you wanted anything to eat?"

"Mmm. I'll fix myself some cereal." She suited actions to words, finished the bowl quickly, and was then curious to discover she still felt hungry. So she filled a second bowl and ate that up just as fast.

"Healthy man-sized appetite, I see."

"Oh, please don't. I'm still getting used to this body."

"I thought you were in the bathroom a long time."

Buffy could feel her face glowing bright red, and stammered helplessly for a reply; but Willow just grinned at her and quirked an eyebrow. "Hey, if it were me, don't you think I'd have been doing exactly the same? I'm actually dying to ask you all about what it's like, but I thought we'd better save that until after I've turned you back."

"Thank you. I appreciate that. How's it getting on, anyway? Anything I can do to help?"

"Not yet. Once I've finished collecting the information on the possible enchantments I'll have to run a few mystical tests on you, see which would be the right counter-spell. But it'll be a few hours yet."

"Oh. What am I supposed to do now, then?"

"Dunno. What do you normally do on a Saturday? Watch cartoons. Fight evil. Go to the mall."

"Like this? People would see me!"

"So? They'll just think you're a guy. A cute guy with long hair and, uh, really bad dress sense. Why not go buy some proper man clothes?"

"I can't! I haven't even got any shoes that fit me!"

"Oh yeah, that's a problem. Oh! Except, why don't you just take some of Spike's? You're pretty much his size now, maybe even a bit taller than him."

Buffy's instinctive rejection of that idea died in her throat as the words "taller than him" sank in. She grinned broadly, and practically skipped out of the kitchen towards the door to the basement.

On to Chapter Four


Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 16:20 (UTC)

"Fit", not "fitted". (Sorry, the grammar nazi comes out when it isn't charmingly cute Jossian dialogue.)

Obviously, my resistance broke down. What else is new?

I *knew* from that last chapter that Will would call her out on taking so long. And despite my being mostly about femslash with a dash of het, even I wouldn't be able to write this without at least a hefty dose of Spuffy UST, and probably more. As it is, I foresee greater than usual alpha-male posturing...

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 16:25 (UTC)

For some reason I wanted to write "fat" rather than "fitted". :-)

Posted by: Two legs good, four legs okay (nothorse)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 16:50 (UTC)

The fight over Spike's clothes is gonna be fun. Although, wouldn't Xander have a stash of clothes in the Casa del Summers?

I wonder whether Willow took another look. And maybe start to tease Buffy -- in the interest of science of course.
Too small sweatpants without underwear should give a nice view.

Where does "going commando" come from anyway?

Posted by: mr_waterproof (mr_waterproof)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 19:27 (UTC)

I looked it up on Wikipedia and it linked to this article:

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:33 (UTC)

Personally, I'd have thought the only clothes Xander might have at 1630 Revello is ones Buffy or Willow or Dawn might have stolen from him.

And Willow has no particular reason to want to stare at boy!Buffy's crotch, and she's capable of being the sympathetic best friend occasionally too. :-)

Posted by: Two legs good, four legs okay (nothorse)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:58 (UTC)

I'd always thought that with Revello 1630 being the home base for patrols, Xander would have an emergency wardrobe stashed there. OTOH, maybe he had, during the live-at-home years, but not nowadays. Dunno if that's sensible.

Sympathetic best friend or not, friendly teasing is a favorite past-time of all the Scoobies. And this is Grade A prime teasing material.

Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

Posted by: mr_waterproof (mr_waterproof)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 17:02 (UTC)

I've been thinking about how some of the Buffyverse characters who haven't been mentioned so far would recat if it wer them who did the gender swap:
Cordelia: Would be mainly concerned about being the best looking, best dressed man around. And she would probably end up in a gay bar enjoying some attention from men who actually care about fashion for a change.
Oz: Would take one look down his shirt, say "awesome" and then go and try on all Willow's outfits when she was out.
Faith: Would go out to a club, pick up a girl. When she started talking about wanting to see her again she would make her excuses, and try her luck in a gay club next time. And she would really love peeing standing up.
Tara: would immediately start researching how to turn back. She would be anxious about whether Willow would reject her in her new shape, but also anxious about whether Willow would like it too much.
Lorne: Would be straight out to try on the most fabulous frock he could find, plunging neckline and slit really high.
Riley: Would be worried that the other Initiative guys might realise he wasn't as bothered by it as they would be.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:33 (UTC)

The Riley one sounds especially true to character there. :-)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:38 (UTC)

I dunno about Lorne--the females of his species, that we've seen at least, aren't exactly hotties by Earth standards.

Posted by: The Anti-OTP (snowpuppies)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 18:46 (UTC)

Oh, boy! Buffy raiding Spike's 'closet'. Can't wait to see how that goes down. :P

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:35 (UTC)

But will she find Spike in the closet too?

*innocent look*

Posted by: The One Who Isn't Chosen (gabrielleabelle)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 23:05 (UTC)

Taller than Spike? Oh, my poor Spike. Hmmm....they're both under average height for their sex by about the same amount iirc. Actually, I think SMG has a 2/3 inch on her height or something that might make her somewhat closer to average than JM is. So that would make her slightly taller than him if turned into a male whose height is equivalently under average...

I'm thinking about this way too much. It's the caffeine. I need to stop.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:36 (UTC)

Kristy Swanson is 5'6". Just to confuse things more.

Posted by: louise39 (louise39)
Posted at: 23rd November 2008 23:17 (UTC)
Buffy eyes move

Willow is searching for a counter-spell. But Buffy seems to be enjoying this new body - so far.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:37 (UTC)

I think "making the best of it" and "curious about it" rather than "enjoying it" would be fair. She still wants to get changed back.

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 08:22 (UTC)

Still sort of catching up on flist after some time away. (Speaking of which--commented a little on original meta post earlier.)

Buffy's reactions are quite funny. I'm a little surprised, given the importance of gender in Buffy's world, that she hasn't wondered yet if she's still the Slayer. Though I suppose it might be evident; it's her body, after all.

I'm interested to note that I'm still referring to Buffy as "her"--perhaps it's because she is/you are. I don't usually think in those terms regarding genderswap fic, though "Aspects" was an exception for obvious reasons. Of course, my thoughts on the subject could fill a good few pages and would be kinda embarrassing to talk about.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:43 (UTC)

I think Buffy's identity as the Slayer, by Season 7, is so ingrained that it wouldn't occur to her to ever question it. Of course, this may come up in the story later...

(For the record: she does still have her Slayer powers in this new body, though some things have changed.)

As far as I can see it, Buffy has thought of herself as a "she" for the last 22 years; she's not going to change that habit of mind overnight. The same goes for her friends. She is, quite literally, a woman trapped in a man's body - she didn't choose this. :-)

Posted by: I write tragedies, not sins (mabus101)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 11:52 (UTC)

You're probably right about Buffy's Slayer identity....it just occurred to me that, given that so much of that identity is tied to female-ness, the question might arise.

she didn't choose this. :-)

Well, clearly not! LOL

I seem to be something of an odd duck in certain regards. Body mutability is one of the most common subjects of my dreams, for reasons I'm not quite sure of; this, or rather its inverse, is an occasional subtype. It may be rooted in the multiple life-saving operations I've had, or it might be something else entirely, but whatever the reason, I find it hard to imagine body dysphoria of any type not related to loss of physical capability. In short, to my way of thinking, I'm a man because I'm in a man's body. In a woman's body I'd be a woman, albeit one with about 33 years of life experience as a man.

Anyway, lots of contributing factors, and probably all I should say on the topic.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 24th November 2008 14:02 (UTC)

In my 'Secret History of the Slayers' and 'Hiywan's Story' I speculated that the Slayer has to be a woman of childbearing age because her magical life energy (Gaia womb magic moon cycles blah blah blah, as Willow would say) counterbalances the death energy of the Slayer spirit... whereas a male Slayer would be overwhelmed and turn into nothing but a demonic killing machine fuelled by rage and anger and lots of testosterone.

For the purposes of this story, I'm either ignoring that or assuming that it would take a fairly long time for the Slayer spirit to assert itself. If this were a darker fic, it would impose a time limit for Willow to turn Buffy back before she went on a deadly rampage.

Likewise - Buffy might start thinking of herself as 'he' if she was like this for a while, but I can't imagine her waking up and within two hours coming to terms with the change. Buffy's sense of self-identity is extremely strong, after all. "I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are?"

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