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(Fic) More Voight-Kampff tests, this time on Terminators

27th March 2009 (13:09)
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As a follow-up to my last post, here's what I think would happen if someone gave the Voight-Kampff test to Cameron and Catherine Weaver from the 'Sarah Connor Chronicles'. Could they pass as human?
 


Cameron

It's Cameron, isn't it? Cameron Baum?

Yes.

I need to ask you some questions. This is just a routine test--

What are you testing for?

Er, empathy. It's a test to measure your empathy.

Thank you for explaining. That device measures my pupil dilation and blush response, doesn't it?

How did you-- you're a very perceptive and intelligent young woman, aren't you?

Thank you. Are you going to ask me the questions now?

Very well. Reaction time is a factor, so answer as rapidly as you can.


You are given a calf-skin wallet on your bir--

I say thank you.

Um, you don't have to answer quite that fast. Let me finish the question first.

Sorry. I thank the person giving me the present.

You're sitting watching TV and suddenly you discover a wasp crawling on your wrist.

Wasp venom breaks down cell membranes and slows the flow of blood in the affected area. I read that in a book. I remain still until the wasp flies away.

In a magazine you come across a full-page colour picture of a nude girl. Your husband likes the picture. The girl is lying face down on a large and beautiful bearskin rug. Your husband hangs the picture up on the wall of his study.

Does the girl look like me? I think I would be jealous.

You're visiting Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. You become hungry and enter a seafood restaurant. One of your friends orders lobster, and the chef drops the lobster into the tub of boiling water while you watch.

I would watch as well.

You rent a mountain cabin in an area still verdant. It's rustic knotty pine with a huge fireplace. On the walls someone has hung old maps. Currier and Ives prints, and above the fireplace a deer's head has been mounted, a full stag with developed horns. The people with you admire the decor of the cabin.

How many exits does the cabin have? Do the windows offer a clear view of the surrounding area? How structurally sound are the walls, and are they thick enough to block infra-red radiation?

You become pregnant by a man who has promised to marry you. The man goes off with another woman, your best friend; you get an abortion.

Yes, that would be sensible.

You're dating a man and he asks you to visit his apartment. While you're there he offers you a drink. As you stand holding your glass you see into the bedroom; it's attractively decorated with bullfight posters,and you wander in to look closer. He follows after you, closing the door and putting his arm around you.

I would determine whether he is sexually aroused, and if so have intercourse with him. Or wait, not if this is the first or second date. That would be slutty, and I'm not that kind of girl.

You are watching an old movie on TV. It shows a banquet in progress; the guests are enjoying raw oysters. The entrée consists of boiled dog, stuffed with rice.

Many cultures consider dogmeat a delicacy, but people in this country react with distaste. I assume the movie is foreign?

Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

Focussed. Kickass. Driven. Effective in combat. Oh, and of course she loves me. You do know she's my adoptive mother, not my natural mother. I don't know if that affects your test.

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise. It’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

I don't know. Tortoises are not a threat, so I have no reason to be cruel to it.

Thank you, Cameron. The test is over.
 

(So - is she human? Or not?)

 


Weaver

Good morning, Ms Weaver. Thank you for sparing the time to see me.

You're welcome. I believe you're going to test me? Please go ahead.

Thank you. Reaction time is a factor, so answer as rapidly as you can.

You are given a calf-skin wallet on your birthday.

My 'birthday'? Ah yes. I would thank the person giving me the gift and make a note to give them a similar gift on their own birthday.

You're sitting watching TV and suddenly you discover a wasp crawling on your wrist.

I'd kill it.

In a magazine you come across a full-page colour picture of a nude girl. Your husband likes the picture. The girl is lying face down on a large and beautiful bearskin rug. Your husband hangs the picture up on the wall of his study.

Yes. Most men like looking at images of nude women. This is normal.

You're visiting Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. You become hungry and enter a seafood restaurant. One of your friends orders lobster, and the chef drops the lobster into the tub of boiling water while you watch.

That does not sound like an efficient method of killing the lobster. Why is it done that way?

You rent a mountain cabin in an area still verdant. It's rustic knotty pine with a huge fireplace. On the walls someone has hung old maps. Currier and Ives prints, and above the fireplace a deer's head has been mounted, a full stag with developed horns. The people with you admire the decor of the cabin.

While they are distracted, I kil-- um, I thank them for the implied compliment to my taste.

You become pregnant by a man who has promised to marry you. The man goes off with another woman, your best friend; you get an abortion.

I would not have an abortion. Human life is sacred.

You're dating a man and he asks you to visit his apartment. While you're there he offers you a drink. As you stand holding your glass you see into the bedroom; it's attractively decorated with bullfight posters, and you wander in to look closer. He follows after you, closing the door and putting his arm around you.

What is my motive for dating him? I assume we are alone together in his apartment. I would act appropriately to the situation.

You are watching an old movie on TV. It shows a banquet in progress; the guests are enjoying raw oysters. The entrée consists of boiled dog, stuffed with rice.

That sounds delicious.

Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

My mother? My mother gave me a loving yet disciplined upbringing. I strive to do the same myself with my own daughter. Have you met her?

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise. It’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?

If the tortoise cannot even turn itself back over without my assistance it sounds like a most inefficient organism. Why have they not become extinct? If I were God, I would have done a much better job of designing the tortoise.

Um, thank you, Ms Weaver. The test is over.

(So - is she human? Or not? And does she kill the person testing her immediately after the test?)
 

Comments

Posted by: Chani φ (frenchani)
Posted at: 27th March 2009 19:06 (UTC)
sunset in Tanzania

Tortoises are not a threat, so I have no reason to be cruel to it.

Hehe!!!

You got their voices quite right! I love Cameron.

You're making me want to rewatch Blade Runner. I will probably cry again when Rutger Hauer dies.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th March 2009 19:20 (UTC)
cameron-bigger

Thank you! When I read this back to myself I can definitely hear it in Summer and Shirley's voices in my mind - it helps that they have such distinctive accents.

I did use artistic licence in Catherine Weaver's "mountain cabin" reply, though. I don't really think she'd make such a slip as she almost did. :-)

Posted by: The Mezzanine (deird1)
Posted at: 27th March 2009 19:56 (UTC)

While Cameron's answers are rather odd, her blush response and pupil dilation are spot on.
So, she's clearly human... right?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th March 2009 20:00 (UTC)
cameron-gobad

Of course. She has to be. :-)

(Although in fact, that would only be true if Cameron - or the Skynet factory which built her - somehow knew in advance how a human would respond to those questions...)

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 27th March 2009 20:01 (UTC)

Also, what do you mean "odd"? Don't all women talk that way?

;-)

Posted by: Dio (diachrony)
Posted at: 28th March 2009 22:05 (UTC)
t:scc - cameron with gun quarter view

Weaver has a good point about the tortoise.

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Posted at: 27th January 2011 10:22 (UTC)
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