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(Fic) (Dis)Connection

9th September 2009 (15:54)
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One of the questions in my poll yesterday asked if Buffy and Faith were "at it like bunnies" in season 3, and 23% of the respondents said "yes". I have to say I'm not one of them; I don't think they were. I do, however, think that something like the scene in this fic might have happened...

And yes, I've actually written my first fic in over a month...

Set in early Season 3. Buffy and Faith have found a vampire nest.
Rating 18, warnings for fighting, femslash and angst. 1,639 words.

 


(Dis)Connection

The vampire roared, spittle flying from his fang-filled mouth. I watched him coolly, my stake firm and hard in my right hand; measuring, judging. Then he leaped, and I blurred to the side, arm raised, stake pointed, and he exploded into dust in front of me. I allowed myself a momentary grin of triumph before whirling around to face the others.

You had three of them on you, and I felt a pang of worry; but then you landed the sweetest high kick to the first one's throat, twisted around in mid-air as he staggered backwards, flung out your arm - I couldn't even tell if it was planned or accidental, but your stake hit the second one right in the chest, and then you were on the ground and ducking and rolling, and coming up behind the third, and your stake jabbed out again, and now you were only facing one of them. I heard you laugh in pure glee and exhilaration, and I shared your joy as I turned to face the last survivors of the nest.

No lie - I half expected them to break and run; there were six of them left and two of us, and they were outnumbered. But these were braver, or stupider, than the norm, and I can't say I was sorry. The next to come at me was a girl, lank and straggly blonde hair still with the dust of the grave clinging to it, and I stiff-armed her in the face with my left then thrust out with my right, and then nothing but the dust remained. Five left. No, sorry, four - you just got another one yourself. We shared a quick smile then turned to face the rest. Two each.

But this next one was bigger and meaner than his dead friends, and he caught my wrist as I tried for his heart, and twisted. I groaned in pain and dropped the stake, and he laughed cruelly and went for the grapple, dirty yellow teeth inches from my neck. And I was so focussed on keeping him off that only pure Slayer instinct let me see the motion out of the corner of my eye, and realise the other vamp had picked up my own stake and was drawing his arm back to thrust it deep into my back. I yelled your name, and time seemed to slow down; you turned your head, your wild smile as you slayed the first of your own opponents slowly fading into concern for me, the vampire with the stake tensing his muscles, the one holding me forcing back my arm, his saliva dripping onto my exposed neck, and I felt the angles and balance and timing shifting around me like they were concrete things that I could reach out and touch, and so I did; I kicked out my legs, striking the vamp with the stake full in the chest, driving him backwards, straight at you, straight onto your own waiting stake; and my sudden weight pulled my other opponent forward, drew him off balance and he toppled forward, and I jammed the heel of my hand under his chin as I grasped his jacket with my other and pulled, and I heard his neck snap, and then he was gone.

I jumped back to my feet, heart pumping wildly, fear and excitement and victory sparkling in my eyes, and I felt a warm glow as you looked at me in admiration and told me "Nice work, B", and then scooped up my stake and tossed it back over to me. And I caught it one-handed and turned to face the last of them, and now her courage did fail, and she broke and ran for the exit. I lunged at her as she tried to barge past me, but she was tricky, she tripped you and pushed you into me, and both of us went over onto the floor, tangled limbs and warm bodies together. But I propped myself up on one arm and threw my stake, and it caught her as she ran and turned her into a cloud of dust that actually kept moving a little way with her momentum, reaching the exit to the crypt before dispersing and spreading away to nothingness.

And I laughed at that, because it seemed funny, and because I was still alive, and I felt your own laughter join mine as you lay there, pressed against me, your heart thudding in your chest matching my own beat for beat, because we were the same, weren't we? We were matched, we knew each other's moves, shared each other's dreams, stood side-by-side together against the world. You were clinging to me, shaking with your own laughter, red-faced and panting, and my own arms went around you and held you tightly, and I felt your breath against my neck, warm and moist and alive, and my hands were clutching in your long brown hair, cupping the back of your head, and then somehow we were kissing.

Hungry mouths pressed together, tongues intertwining and swirling, and I don't know if it was my idea or yours but it just seemed right, because I needed you, needed to feel your heat, your vibrancy, to breathe in your scent, cheap shampoo and cigarette smoke and fresh sweat. Hear your gasp as we finally broke for air, see the passion and need and the tiniest hint of vulnerability shining in your eyes as they met mine, the unspoken question. But I had no answers for you, only my own body, my need, my aliveness, that clutched and grasped at your own and tried to draw you into me.

We kissed again, and I felt the heat rising inside me, the tingling, the hunger, and you were wriggling against me, feeling the same pressure, and it seemed only natural to bring my leg up, pushing it between your leather-clad thighs, searching for your centre, and you were wriggling and grinding against me, your breath coming shorter and faster, the pounding in your chest which lay crushed against my own vibrating through my body and sending my own need spiralling. So I pushed harder and deeper against you, meeting your pressure with my own, matching your movements just as we had when we fought side by side, and your arms around me held me in a crushing grip, Slayer-strong, and your features darkened and your eyes screwed shut, and your muscles locked into a death-grip, hard enough to hurt even me, and you mumbled a gasping obscenity or two, and then all the strength seemed to go out of you at once and you collapsed around me limp and pliant and glowing.

And I went cold all over.

Were we... was that... did you just...okay, eww! My mind froze, tumbling thoughts chasing each other so quickly I couldn't make coherent sense of any of them. But you were oblivious, of course; you laughed a low, husky laugh and kissed me, a little playful nip on my neck, and next thing I knew your hand was rummaging under my skirt, tracing a line up my thigh, down the other, then back and slipping under the thin, damp cloth of my knickers. And it was wrong, and you shouldn't be doing it, and it felt so good, your slightly rough finger stroking up and down, gentle but firm, slightly scratchy until my own wetness covered it, and I didn't know what to do, and I felt my eyes closing as warm waves of pleasure cycled up through me, and I tried to fight it because we shouldn't, I wasn't that kind of...

Your finger wriggled its way inside me, and my eyes flew open in shock. This was real. Your finger. Was inside me. This was not supposed to happen.

What the hell was I doing?

I pushed your hand away. "What the hell are you doing?"

You looked at me in shock, surprise and confusion in your eyes. And then the hurt, the vulnerability... and then nothing. Your barrier slammed down, your gaze met mine blankly, an empty mirror. "Whatever, B. Just thought we were having fun, is all."

"No! Bad kind of fun. You know I'm not into that, and I didn't think you were either."

"Seems there's a lot you don't know about me. Or yourself, 'cause hey, you seemed pretty much in the moment there..."

"I was not!" My conscience was telling me that wasn't entirely true, but I tried to drown it out by being more determined. "It was just, with the fighty, and the being-aliveness, and the inappropriate post-battle reactions. We got carried away for a minute. It was a thing, that's all."

"Whatever you say. We done here? 'Cause I need to get home and shower." You stretched, arms thrust back, head tilted, and I turned my face away from the sight of your out-thrust breasts, nipples outlined clearly through your t-shirt. Because I was being polite, no other reason.

Certainly not because I was still buzzy and tingling and flushed. Like you, I needed to get home for - for a shower. Nothing else.

You turned and headed for the exit to the crypt, not looking back. I watched you walk away, filled with relief that soon you'd be gone, taking all the confusing and disturbing thoughts and feelings away with you. I wouldn't have to feel this way once you stepped outside that door...

"Faith, wait!"

You stopped, your form silhouetted against the moonlight shining in from outside. You turned back to face me, your movements curiously hesitant. You didn't speak. There was so much I wanted to say to you...

But the words wouldn't come.

"I'll, uh, see you tomorrow, okay?"

You nodded, and turned, and walked away, and left me. Alone.
 

Comments

Posted by: erimthar (erimthar)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 15:41 (UTC)
pic#85222149

Poor Buffy. And even poorer Faith. :-)

I could see Buffy doing this, at her most infuriating. I never really saw these two as a couple during the show, but this scenario is quite believable.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 16:45 (UTC)
buffy-all alone

Yeah. I actually had a happier ending planned when I started writing, but it just didn't fit their characters...

Thanks!

Posted by: Nicki (peroxidepirate)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 15:56 (UTC)

That was really good! Very appropriate to the characters at the time. And I'm very sure that whatever they felt for each other, Faith was conscious of it and willing to think about it and Buffy wasn't.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 16:46 (UTC)
faith2

That's how I see them, except I'm not sure Faith was quite that ready to think about it either... but much more so than Buffy was.

Thanks!

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 18:05 (UTC)

Thanks!

As far as Satsu was concerned: 24-year old Buffy is a lot different (and more relaxed about her sexuality) than 17-year old Buffy. Bear in mind that at the time of this fic, she'd had exactly one sexual experience, which went horribly wrong.

Posted by: Elena (moscow_watcher)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 18:04 (UTC)
Faith

Very convincing, very true to characters.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 9th September 2009 18:05 (UTC)

Thank you. :-)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 00:04 (UTC)

Awwwww! Poor both of them, but especially Faith. I am such a fan of unrequited!Faith when it comes to...well, lots of people, actually, but especially Buffy.

Very realistic and a fun read. Oooh, and yummy, too!

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 13:10 (UTC)

Glad you enjoyed the yumminess as well as the angstiness. I was going for both. :-)


(And I was reading on a metafandom link recently that the way you can tell femslash-for-women from lesbian-porn-for-men was that femslash always seems to have boatloads of angst and unrequited love in it. So I'm playing to my audience here...)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 00:11 (UTC)

Haha! That's funny. I guess cause people think that angst is the only thing that separates porn from story...? Or that men who want porn wouldn't want angst, but random fluffiness is okay?

I get the point, basically, but it's fairly inaccurate. And also assumes that PWPs are bad and antifeminist, which...not necessarily.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 01:57 (UTC)

I guess cause people think that angst is the only thing that separates porn from story...?

In the context of the discussion I read, it seemed more like a generalisation that lesbians prefer reading angst because it reminds them of their own life. ;-)

(I hasten to add that as far as I could tell, every person participating in this discussion was a woman, and most of them seemed to be gay themselves... They were mostly comparing femslash to slash written by straight women about men.)

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 02:11 (UTC)

Heh! I read angst because it's not like my life, actually - reading fic that was like my life would be too weird. Eugh.

Would you mind linking me to this? I'm curious now. :D

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 02:44 (UTC)

http://community.livejournal.com/girlwank/12001.html?format=light

And a sample quote from the comments:

When I'm thinking about guys and their relationships, I'm make up stuff that makes me happy. With girls, it's harder to separate it from the context of situations I've actually been in or could realistically see myself in. With male characters, hopeless situations are boring and depressing, and thus not worth it. With female characters, there's a element either of venting or just of "hey, that could be me" that makes it more interesting to write.

Posted by: Lily (lavastar)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 23:20 (UTC)

Hmmm. Interesting. I guess I just read such a variety of different fics - including lots and lots of femslash - that I don't really see this kind of trend happening. I think it's probably more prevalent with older or less accepting canons - after all, in Buffy, there's not so much with the 'forbidden love' based on if it's gay. Plenty of other reasons for love to be forbidden, though...:)

Posted by: none of the above (frogfarm)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 00:31 (UTC)

*sniff*

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 13:11 (UTC)

Aww. *passes hanky*
:-)

Posted by: itsmrgordotoyou (itsmrgordotoyou)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 13:01 (UTC)

I like it! It reminds me a bit of that scene in Revelations when Buffy unintentionally alienated Faith just as she was trying to open up, except more detailed and, well, x-rated. In other words, this is better.

Writing it as Buffy speaking to Faith was a nice choice. Is this the first time you've written a fic in the first person from Buffy's point of view?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 13:20 (UTC)

I had that in mind... and also the scene in 'Bad Girls' when Buffy unintentionally alienated Faith just as she was trying to open up, and the scene in 'Consequences' when Buffy unintentionally alienated Faith just as she was trying to open up... There's a lot to work from here. :-)


Is this the first time you've written a fic in the first person from Buffy's point of view?

I think so; I'm not even sure I've written anything in the first person at all, apart from 'Hiywan's Story'. I'm sure I must have, though.

Addressing it in second person was to try and show that Buffy is obsessing over Faith in her mind, replaying their encounter, imagining herself connecting to her after all. Or maybe, this is set way in the future and the two of them are sitting in a cafe with a bottle of wine and exchanging stories about their past. :-)

Thanks!

Posted by: Beer Good (beer_good_foamy)
Posted at: 10th September 2009 19:58 (UTC)

Now, when I occasionally say that I don't see it as necessarily non-canon that Faith and Buffy came "closer than what is normally considered heterosexuality"... this is pretty much exactly what I mean. Great job. I especially love the slow-motion sequences, which can be enormously tricky to pull off but I think you nailed it here - plus, of course, it really works for the characters as well; as others have noted, poor Faith. (And poor Buffy.)

Just out of curiosity, since you set this in 1st person... when do you see Buffy narrating this, and in which circumstances?

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 11th September 2009 02:04 (UTC)
fuffy-subtext

I've been thinking about what the experience of fighting would actually be like for a Slayer. The idea that the world slows down and she can almost physically see the right moves to make appeals to me, and it's kind of supported by Melaka's dialogue from the original 'Fray' comic. ("I'm slick with power and I feel the fight as it changes.. as it flows... everything into place, perfect, and I finally do what I was born to do. I slay.")

Or put it another way, Buffy gets bullet-time. :-)


when do you see Buffy narrating this, and in which circumstances?

I'm not entirely sure, so I leave that up to the reader's interpretation. :-) But I think it's either later that nighht as Buffy's lying in bed and obsessing over what just happened, or (as I said in the comment above yours) it's many years later and Buffy and Faith are exchanging stories over a bottle of wine.

Posted by: mr_waterproof (mr_waterproof)
Posted at: 12th September 2009 16:47 (UTC)

Bullet time Buffy: Interesting idea but we never saw any scenes in the TV series where she was speeded up, or from her point of view everyone else was in slow motion. Perhaps she can think faster, but can't move faster. Or alternatively, like a Jedi she has a second or two precognition in combat situations.

Posted by: StephenT (stormwreath)
Posted at: 12th September 2009 23:55 (UTC)

We also never saw any character on 'Buffy' running halfway up a wall then jumping off from it to kick someone else, 'Crouching Tiger, Hiddden Dragon' style - but Angel did that all the time on his own show. Either it was a new ability Angel learned when he left Sunnydale, or it might have something to do with the special effects and stunts budgets of the two shows...

We do know that Buffy can move her hand fast enough to catch a crossbow bolt travelling at 100 metres per second. Extrapolate fomr that to how fast she can move in a fight.

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