StephenT (stormwreath) wrote,
StephenT
stormwreath

(Poll) The Grand Buffyverse TMI Poll

A few people have been downhearted lately because LJ is so quiet; so here's a poll to have fun with. Or possibly get thoroughly embarrassed by.

Ever wanted to ask an intimate and highly intrusive question about one of the Scoobies?  Ever wondered what fanon has to say about the more personal aspects of their lives that the show generally didn't deal with in detail? Now's your chance! Please feel free to justify your choices or tell me off for not including the option you really wanted to pick for them in the comments...

.
Poll #1523038 The Grand Buffyverse TMI Poll

Who of the following is circumcised?

Xander
0(0.0%)
Oz
1(1.1%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Riley
4(4.5%)
Clem
1(1.1%)

What does Buffy's pubic hair usually look like?

Left natural
5(5.5%)
Neatly trimmed
65(71.4%)
Brazilian wax
17(18.7%)
Completely shaved
4(4.4%)

Who of the following always removes the hair from their armpits?

Buffy
0(0.0%)
Willow
0(0.0%)
Xander
0(0.0%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Dawn
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Oz (in human form)
0(0.0%)
Anya
0(0.0%)
Faith
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Tara
0(0.0%)
Riley
0(0.0%)
Joyce
1(1.1%)
Ilona Costa Bianchi
0(0.0%)

When a Slayer reaches orgasm, her vaginal muscle contractions are...

No different to a normal woman's. Slayer strength doesn't work that way.
38(42.2%)
Potentially very painful to a human partner unless she deliberately holds back.
47(52.2%)
Strong enough to shatter a vibrator or permanently cripple a man.
5(5.6%)

Does Slaying make Buffy hungry and horny?

Yes
75(83.3%)
Just hungry
6(6.7%)
No; that's just Faith, not all Slayers
9(10.0%)

Does Buffy masturbate when she gets back from patrol? (Assuming she's currently single.)

As soon as possible, urgently, and often more than once.
4(4.4%)
Yes, almost always.
23(25.6%)
Sometimes, if she feels like it.
61(67.8%)
No.
2(2.2%)

Who else knows about Buffy's post-patrol masturbation habit?

Not applicable, because it doesn't exist.
3(3.3%)
Angel, because he spied on her through her window.
1(1.1%)
Willow, because Buffy confided in her.
0(0.0%)
Willow after Season 4, because she shares Buffy's room
0(0.0%)
Joyce, because she cleans Buffy's sheets and knows about teenagers.
0(0.0%)
Giles, because the Slayer's Handbook discusses the issue.
0(0.0%)
Faith, because she's the same.
4(4.4%)
Riley, because Buffy told him.
0(0.0%)
Spike, because he understands Buffy's needs.
0(0.0%)
Spike, because he spies on Buffy just like Angel used to.
0(0.0%)
Dawn, because Buffy isn't as quiet as she thinks she is.
2(2.2%)
Someone else whom I'll talk about in a comment
0(0.0%)

What did Buffy usually do about late-night post-patrol masturbation during Season 4?

She didn't do it at all.
5(5.7%)
She did it in the graveyard before returning to the dorm.
1(1.1%)
She did it in a cubicle in the dorm's bathroom.
9(10.2%)
She kicked Willow out of bed and asked her to go down to the common room.
1(1.1%)
She made sure Willow was asleep first, and did it very quietly so as not to wake her.
70(79.5%)
She did it openly in her bed, regardless of whether Willow was still awake or not.
2(2.3%)

What would Willow be most likely to say to Buffy if *she* really wanted to masturbate one evening during season 4?

She doesn't do that sort of thing.
1(1.1%)
She wouldn't say anything, just wait and hope Buffy left to go somewhere.
54(60.7%)
"Buffy, I need to make a private phonecall. D'you mind leaving me alone for a while?"
10(11.2%)
"Buffy, I, uh, need to make a *koff* 'private phonecall', if you know what I mean. Shoo."
15(16.9%)
"Buffy, I wanna masturbate. D'you mind going downstairs for a while?"
0(0.0%)
"Buffy, I'm gonna masturbate. I won't disturb you, will I? I'll try to be quiet."
0(0.0%)
"Buffy, I'm gonna masturbate. How about you, do you wanna do it too?"
0(0.0%)
She wouldn't say anything, she'd just do it.
9(10.1%)

Which of the following people has Xander had sexual fantasies about while masturbating? (Singly or in combination)

Buffy
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Anya
0(0.0%)
Willow, before Season 4
0(0.0%)
Willow, after she came out
0(0.0%)
Joyce
0(0.0%)
Dawn, pre-season 7
0(0.0%)
Dawn, season 7
0(0.0%)
Faith
0(0.0%)
Angel
0(0.0%)
Spike
0(0.0%)
Riley
0(0.0%)
Oz
0(0.0%)
Larry
1(1.1%)
Giles
0(0.0%)

Buffy's been drinking coffee in the Bronze all night, then goes patrolling. Inevitably, she soon needs to pee. What does she do?

Waits until she gets home. Slayers have excellent bladder control.
21(23.1%)
Cuts short her patrol and goes home straight away.
2(2.2%)
Goes looking for an all-night garage or something with a toilet.
30(33.0%)
Finds a secluded corner of the graveyard to pee. Preferably not on an actual grave.
38(41.8%)

In 'Chosen', Xander warns the Potentials to go to the toilets before the battle so they don't wet themselves with fear once the fighting starts. Did that ever actually happen to him or the other Scoobies?

No, never.
8(8.8%)
It might have done once or twice.
60(65.9%)
It's a typical human reaction to sudden and extreme danger, so yes.
23(25.3%)

Who of the following would pee in the shower?

None of them. Eww.
12(14.1%)
Buffy
0(0.0%)
Willow
0(0.0%)
Xander
5(5.9%)
Giles
0(0.0%)
Dawn
0(0.0%)
Joyce
0(0.0%)
Cordelia
0(0.0%)
Oz
1(1.2%)
Anya
2(2.4%)
Faith
2(2.4%)
Tara
0(0.0%)
Riley
1(1.2%)

Menstrual blood is:

Dead, and therefore not attractive to vampires.
19(20.9%)
Blood, and therefore a tasty snack for vampires.
72(79.1%)

Can Spike or Angel smell when Buffy is on her period?

Yes, and from a considerable distance away.
27(29.7%)
Yes, but only when they're fairly close to her (same room).
54(59.3%)
Yes, but only at very close range.
9(9.9%)
No.
1(1.1%)
.
Tags: buffy, meta, poll
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